Living Together: boyfriend and girlfriend
- Thread starter tirapet
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What does your heart say tirapet?
Hi tirapet
I don't think it would be very wise in all honesty to live together. Too much temptation for young folk (even older folk) in love perhaps.
Also, if the couple is Christian, I believe that they should be setting a good and Godly example of purity and patience to the world, of waiting to build a home together when they have been married. Even though the couple may be keeping themselves pure, while under the same roof, they may still be 'seen' to be encouraging others to 'live together' while not married and considering how 'easy' it can be to step over the line when things 'get heated', the whole living together thing can just be too much of a stumbling block for most.
Please note that I wouldn't condemn any who do live together - we each must be free to make our choices and to know that God still loves us - but if asked I would definitely, in love and gentleness, counsel that to live apart is the wiser, safer and yes the more Godly choice before marriage.
HisNicky
Hi tirapet
I don't think it would be very wise in all honesty to live together. Too much temptation for young folk (even older folk) in love perhaps.
Also, if the couple is Christian, I believe that they should be setting a good and Godly example of purity and patience to the world, of waiting to build a home together when they have been married. Even though the couple may be keeping themselves pure, while under the same roof, they may still be 'seen' to be encouraging others to 'live together' while not married and considering how 'easy' it can be to step over the line when things 'get heated', the whole living together thing can just be too much of a stumbling block for most.
Please note that I wouldn't condemn any who do live together - we each must be free to make our choices and to know that God still loves us - but if asked I would definitely, in love and gentleness, counsel that to live apart is the wiser, safer and yes the more Godly choice before marriage.
HisNicky
Such is impossible. I would think?
The bible says, "It is better for a man to marry than to burn" that means to be consumed by desire.
I hear what you say.
My advice would be to keep separate until you are married. The testimony of Jesus and the purity of the gospel as seen by other folks would require this.
Whenever questions come to my mind of whether something I am doing is ok with God, I feel that if I am even questioning myself, I should stop what activity I am in unless I find the answer says its ok from His Holy Word.
I am not old enough to have been in this situation, but I do know
others which helps me, to help you. yay lol
scenario 1- My mother and her boyfriend, (i dont live with them)
are living in the same place together. She goes to church, and the entire
church warned her that it wasnt right to be living together unless married.
She said they had everything under control, but eventually, we found that
they were having sex the entire time. I felt that was something I saw coming because as HisNicky said, it was a stumbling block.
scenario 2- My friend's cousin was living with her boyfriend as well, and they
even had separate bedrooms. Most of her family said they were having sex for years, and then when they got married and moved into a different apartment, most of her family and friends still claim to this day that they were 'sinning'. Truth is, no one knows about their personal life, so I feel they are wrong for saying something they dont have the facts for. But what IS true is, that image they made didnt look pure to everyone else. They might not have had sex at all, but they werent showing Godly behavior and making an example.
From both of those scenarios, its best not to live with eachother, though I
do applaud you waiting to have sex until marriage.
I will pray that you both have a great and memorable wedding and God Bless you both
I am not old enough to have been in this situation, but I do know
others which helps me, to help you. yay
lolscenario 1- My mother and her boyfriend, (i dont live with them)
are living in the same place together. She goes to church, and the entire
church warned her that it wasnt right to be living together unless married.
She said they had everything under control, but eventually, we found that
they were having sex the entire time. I felt that was something I saw coming because as HisNicky said, it was a stumbling block.
scenario 2- My friend's cousin was living with her boyfriend as well, and they
even had separate bedrooms. Most of her family said they were having sex for years, and then when they got married and moved into a different apartment, most of her family and friends still claim to this day that they were 'sinning'. Truth is, no one knows about their personal life, so I feel they are wrong for saying something they dont have the facts for. But what IS true is, that image they made didnt look pure to everyone else. They might not have had sex at all, but they werent showing Godly behavior and making an example.
From both of those scenarios, its best not to live with eachother, though I
do applaud you waiting to have sex until marriage.
I will pray that you both have a great and memorable wedding and God Bless you both
Boanerges
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In truth what is the likelihood of that happening? If one is trying to diet that one should not hang out at the bakery. If one is trying to get sober why would that one hang out at a bar?
In truth why suffer such a burden of temptation that could possibly damage the precious thing you seem to have?
shipwrecksoul
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How will you feel about yourselves if you do have sex and fall. Will that ruin your walk with the Lord? Will you feel more in love with the Lord Jesus as having betrayed him in having sex with your boyfriend if that was to happen?
Should I also ask are you above what the others above have quoted from Gods word?
Dont put yourself in the line of temptation or temptation will find you!!
LETS_TALKJESUS
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NO
Soon you will compromise with each other and say something like
well we are planning on getting married anyway so it's ok
if we go all the way( you know what i mean)
Dont do it
live together, I mean
Bad Farming!
Soon you will compromise with each other and say something like
well we are planning on getting married anyway so it's ok
if we go all the way( you know what i mean)
Dont do it
live together, I mean
Bad Farming!
This is an interesting topic. Technically, it's not "wrong" in and of itself. There was actually a time where it was common to have a couple live together for a year before they got married to see if they were compatible, because divorce was not an option. But in this day an age, as these kind folks have pointed out, it's really not a smart thing to do.
However, though the actual act of living together may not be wrong, as Dannibear described, it's absolutely wrong to maintain an appearance of living in sin, even if it only appears that way to a few people.
However, though the actual act of living together may not be wrong, as Dannibear described, it's absolutely wrong to maintain an appearance of living in sin, even if it only appears that way to a few people.
shipwrecksoul
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Yeah lets hang out with Jesus but let us not pledge our love in devotion to him because he saved us?
Whats with people these days?
Afraid to pledge their love in marriage towards each other?
Afraid to give and stand by one's promise?
Afraid to commit?
I think it boils down to young love trying to dictate self interest opposing the institution of marriage.
Hey link all the bold words together above and ask yourself is this what a mature relationship is?
Whats with people these days?
Afraid to pledge their love in marriage towards each other?
Afraid to give and stand by one's promise?
Afraid to commit?
I think it boils down to young love trying to dictate self interest opposing the institution of marriage.
Hey link all the bold words together above and ask yourself is this what a mature relationship is?
SpiritLedEd
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If you're referring to the betrothal period that was common in Israel in the time of Christ, it must be noted that the betrothed couple remained celebate during that period.
SLE
LovingAvalanche
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I think younger people are worried about what their parents are thinking about them getting married and on top of it, it's almost like a competition who has the best wedding between friends and/or relatives, so younger couples feel pressured to wait until they have enough money to have a nice wedding.
Mmk. Thanks for all your answers! To tell the truth and clear the air, this wasn't about me. I was just curious because one hears so much about people living together these days, and I was wondering if the couple did nothing wrong if they could still be together like that. Thank you! I'll be sure to remember all this for the future.
LovebirdsFlying
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My opinion only. If I am scripturally wrong, anyone is welcome to show me where.
I believe in some cases, such as when both parties are disabled and on government assistance, it would not be in violation to have a "commitment ceremony," in which they pledge themselves to each other before a congregation and afterwards consider themselves husband and wife, but don't register their marriage with the government. I don't see why government should be involved in marriage anyway. I think it should be between the couple and God, in the presence of witnesses. (Isaac took Rebecca into his mother's tent, and she became his wife. That's all the "ceremony" I'm aware of in their case, and they didn't have to go to the courthouse and get a license either.)
The reason for this is because the government removes part of the couple's income if the couple marries, but leaves it intact if they are only living together. It's called the marriage penalty, which I think is totally unfair, but since they aren't going to do away with it any time soon, I think there should be a way around it.
For background information, I am disabled myself and lost my government assistance when I married my husband. I believe we would have been married in God's eyes if we had gone the "commitment ceremony" route, but he wanted me legally protected if something happened to him, so we got married in the eyes of the government too.
I believe in some cases, such as when both parties are disabled and on government assistance, it would not be in violation to have a "commitment ceremony," in which they pledge themselves to each other before a congregation and afterwards consider themselves husband and wife, but don't register their marriage with the government. I don't see why government should be involved in marriage anyway. I think it should be between the couple and God, in the presence of witnesses. (Isaac took Rebecca into his mother's tent, and she became his wife. That's all the "ceremony" I'm aware of in their case, and they didn't have to go to the courthouse and get a license either.)
The reason for this is because the government removes part of the couple's income if the couple marries, but leaves it intact if they are only living together. It's called the marriage penalty, which I think is totally unfair, but since they aren't going to do away with it any time soon, I think there should be a way around it.
For background information, I am disabled myself and lost my government assistance when I married my husband. I believe we would have been married in God's eyes if we had gone the "commitment ceremony" route, but he wanted me legally protected if something happened to him, so we got married in the eyes of the government too.
Living together before marriage is wrong I think beyond the reasons that it makes it harder not to sin but also because it's playing house without the commitments (saying this from experience). Our culture teaches us to depend on ourselves and our own knowledge and understanding to test drive, sample etc. before we purchase the real deal. I think though that in taking the risk in not sampling before marriage we can show that we trust in God to to work out our future troubles (that is if we feel He approves of the relationship we are pursuing).
I think there can be exceptions to this though since I don't think it is explicitly dealt with in the bible so I guess in some cases it would be how the couple personally felt convicted by their actions.
I think there can be exceptions to this though since I don't think it is explicitly dealt with in the bible so I guess in some cases it would be how the couple personally felt convicted by their actions.
True Christian
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All the responses are very good and helpful. This seems to be a recent thing, as throughout the 80s and 90s, I did not know of even one Christian who did this. In addition to the other people's good wisdom, which I would state too, I say that it is best to enjoy living together with all of the decisions about household, after marriage. In no way, whatsoever should two people live together before marriage, if anything for the witness to the lost, and for the possibility of temptation.
(please keep this post confidential)
(please keep this post confidential)
What the Bible does say
I think there can be exceptions to living together with your girlfriend since this is not explicitly dealt with in the Bible. *So, in some cases it would depend on how the couple personally felt convicted by their actions. *That said, please please please check yourself, and don't be timid about asking your partner to check the themselves with these as well.
1 Corinthians 7:9
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1 Corinthians 8:13
Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not case them to fall.
Romans 14:21
It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.
Matthew 5:28
You have heard it was said, "you shall not commit adultery." But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.*
Proverbs 6:25
Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.
Two words of caution: *The devil lures us into temptation and when the opportunity is present, he attempts to kick down the door with everything he has. *
Even though a couple may keep themselves pure, while under the same roof, they still may be 'seen' to be encouraging other Christians to live together before marriage. *Considering how easy it can be to step over the line when things 'get heated', living together can be too much of a stumbling block for most. *Couples should consider how they will feel if they do keep themselves pure, but later find out that their actions encouraged another Christian couple to live together, but they end up falling into sin. *Maybe this is a sister, a brother, or even one of their own children years down the road.
I think there can be exceptions to living together with your girlfriend since this is not explicitly dealt with in the Bible. *So, in some cases it would depend on how the couple personally felt convicted by their actions. *That said, please please please check yourself, and don't be timid about asking your partner to check the themselves with these as well.
1 Corinthians 7:9
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1 Corinthians 8:13
Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not case them to fall.
Romans 14:21
It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.
Matthew 5:28
You have heard it was said, "you shall not commit adultery." But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.*
Proverbs 6:25
Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.
Two words of caution: *The devil lures us into temptation and when the opportunity is present, he attempts to kick down the door with everything he has. *
Even though a couple may keep themselves pure, while under the same roof, they still may be 'seen' to be encouraging other Christians to live together before marriage. *Considering how easy it can be to step over the line when things 'get heated', living together can be too much of a stumbling block for most. *Couples should consider how they will feel if they do keep themselves pure, but later find out that their actions encouraged another Christian couple to live together, but they end up falling into sin. *Maybe this is a sister, a brother, or even one of their own children years down the road.
B-A-C
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jfBLOOM22: I think there can be exceptions to living together with your girlfriend since this is not explicitly dealt with in the Bible.
huh?? Fornication is mentioned all over the Bible in dozens of places.
John 8:41
Acts 15:20
Acts 15:29
Acts 21:25
1 Thess 4:3
Eph 2:3
There are any more verses about this. (I'm not a big fan of the NET Bible which just says sexual immorality. The KJV, and NASB specifically say fornication.
huh?? Fornication is mentioned all over the Bible in dozens of places.
John 8:41
Acts 15:20
Acts 15:29
Acts 21:25
1 Thess 4:3
Eph 2:3
There are any more verses about this. (I'm not a big fan of the NET Bible which just says sexual immorality. The KJV, and NASB specifically say fornication.
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El Hombre viejo
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Living together?
Ok...So he is a good boy and she is a good girl and there is no hanky panky....Still, what about your witness?
The WORD says to "
1 Thessalonians 5:21-23 (King James Version)
21Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.
22Abstain from all appearance of evil.
23And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."
How would a young Christian couple be different (in appearance) to the unsaved? Would anyone really believe there was no 'goings on'?
What would that do to an unsaved persons chances of giving his life to JESUS?
Ok...So he is a good boy and she is a good girl and there is no hanky panky....Still, what about your witness?
The WORD says to "
1 Thessalonians 5:21-23 (King James Version)
21Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.
22Abstain from all appearance of evil.
23And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."
How would a young Christian couple be different (in appearance) to the unsaved? Would anyone really believe there was no 'goings on'?
What would that do to an unsaved persons chances of giving his life to JESUS?
Laeomis
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In Exodus 22:16 it says, "And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuse to give her to him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins."
So I see from this you don't have to marry before you have sex, but if you do have sex you have to marry.
So I see from this you don't have to marry before you have sex, but if you do have sex you have to marry.
