My mummy

[Sleepy]

Ahhhh exhausted and stressed but ..... wait..... Allelujiah

Ahhhh!

I have been under so much pressure at work. We have an Inspection tomorrow at work (3 lessons - don't know when the inspectors will walk in classroom all day and I get very stressed... I am very competent but very self conscious when I feel I'm being judged... I'm petrified of it, fearing underachievement ) plus paperwork and more paperwork and demanding bosses. I am juggling with home life but.........

PRAISE GOD because through it all Mum seems to be having better days and I believe that she is on her way up.

I thank God for providing an electrical bed and chair for her as this has boosted her confidence again.

Thank you for your advice Shepherdsgrace. I'm going to take a break after the inspection.... going to a wedding. I was a bit low on my last post but things improved. So thank you all who prayed. I feel the wonders working.

Glory to God

Forgive me of my Ahhhh and remind me of my Allelujiah.

Amen

 

[shepherdsgrace]

Praise the Lord for his faithfulness!

And with you having confidence in the Lord for your inspections tomorrow.

Continuing in his grace........

 

[burgeon]

Jesus is Lord!

Ahhhh!

I have been under so much pressure at work. We have an Inspection tomorrow at work (3 lessons - don't know when the inspectors will walk in classroom all day and I get very stressed... I am very competent but very self conscious when I feel I'm being judged... I'm petrified of it, fearing underachievement ) plus paperwork and more paperwork and demanding bosses. I am juggling with home life but.........

PRAISE GOD because through it all Mum seems to be having better days and I believe that she is on her way up.

I thank God for providing an electrical bed and chair for her as this has boosted her confidence again.

Thank you for your advice Shepherdsgrace. I'm going to take a break after the inspection.... going to a wedding. I was a bit low on my last post but things improved. So thank you all who prayed. I feel the wonders working.

Glory to God

Forgive me of my Ahhhh and remind me of my Allelujiah.

Amen

Sleepy:

I am thinking about you and your mother. I will continue to pray.

Your Sister in Christ,
Dr. Bon Vie

 

[DeWhitt]

You and your mother are in my prayers. May the Lord give you a giant hug.

John 16:33, "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."

With love,
Daniel

 

[Sleepy]

Please pray... things are hard for Mum

Mum is back in the Hospice and I miss her so much....

She is in lots of pain but on morphine.
Burning in the chest.
Problems with the loo.
Sick all the time even though she's on a sickness pump.
Everything seems a struggle: eating, walking and going to the loo.

She's struggling so much, she's got so thin, her spirits are low and her temper short because of all her suffering.

I trust God but don't know what to do...

Please for pray for physical and emotional comfort for her.

Thank you family We need you. Your support is so valuable and I praise and thank God for your love, support and prayers. I know that through all this, we're still carried and am so grateful for all his love.

 

[burgeon]

Jesus is Lord!

Mum is back in the Hospice and I miss her so much....

She is in lots of pain but on morphine.
Burning in the chest.
Problems with the loo.
Sick all the time even though she's on a sickness pump.
Everything seems a struggle: eating, walking and going to the loo.

She's struggling so much, she's got so thin, her spirits are low and her temper short because of all her suffering.

I trust God but don't know what to do...

Please for pray for physical and emotional comfort for her.

Thank you family We need you. Your support is so valuable and I praise and thank God for your love, support and prayers. I know that through all this, we're still carried and am so grateful for all his love.

Sleepy:

I understand what you are going through. My mother died of cancer on May 5, 2005.

I will pray for your Mum.

Your Sister in Christ,
Dr. Bon Vie/"Sylvia"

 

[shepherdsgrace]

Dear Sleepy,

So many of us understand more than you know. May our deep sympathy and care for you and your mom help at least a little to alleviate some of the burden. We are thankful that you and your Mom have the Lord to sustain you through this terrible time of suffering and grief.

God's blessings

 

[Sapphire]

Sleepy, I still think of you & your mum & lift you up in prayer. You have shown much maturity & strength in keeping your needs before your brothers & sisters in Christ. So many times it is easy to listen to the enemy say "don't bother them"...praise God you have not given into that. We should lift each other up - God tells us to do so & it draws us closer together as His Children.

Each time I think of you & your mum...I lay you before the very Throne of God. It's like He takes you into His Arms & cuddles you both. When He chooses to take your mum to be with Him, know that she won't be in a strange place. We may not "know" Heaven in the natural sense, but it won't be an unknown land to us. She will be where she is loved far more than even you could love her (hard to imagine isn't it?). She will be where she is no longer frail, sick & in pain. She will be with Her Father who treasures her & loves her dearly & will smile at her with all the love & Glory of the whole universe.

 

[KimHopper]

I will pray

Dear Heavenly Father,
Please be with this family in their time of need. "Sleepy" and Mum and their family need all the help they can get in this trying time. They know you are their and they acknowledge you. They know what happens, happens because it's in Your Will. I'm sure they understand that if it's her time to go, there's nothing they can do about it. She would be out of pain forever. But, Lord, if it's not quite her time, please heal her quickly. Let her have more memories with her family.
It's in You name I pray...

~Be Strong, be brave.~ 1 Cor. 16:13

 

[Sleepy]

Thank you all so much for all your kind words, prayers and thoughts.

A little bit lost at the moment....... are we far from God ?

I'm worried

 

[Dave777]

A little bit lost at the moment....... are we far from God ?

I'm worried

Take heart, I am praying and many are praying.

JESUS has overcome the world.

>>>

Hebrews 4:14-16 Seeing then that we have a GREAT HIGH PRIEST WHO
has passed through the heavens, JESUS THE SON OF GOD, let us hold fast
out confession. For we do not have a HIGH PRIEST who cannot sympathize
with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

John 8 :12

Then JESUS spoke to them again saying, "I AM the light of the world. He that follows me shall not walk in darkness, but have the LIGHT OF LIFE."

Romans 10:9-10

If you confess with your mouth THE LORD JESUS and believe in your heart
that GOD has raised HIM from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

<<<<<<<

Dave

 

[Sapphire]

Sleepy, I still think of you & your mum often & say a prayer for you both. Talk to us, hon...what is happening now?

satan is cruel & will use this time to put doubts in your mind & cause you further distress any way he can - hang on to God. He will hear the simplest of prayers - when you feel you can't say anything, just say what first comes to mind. It was in your heart anyway & He knows it already.

It's ok to just curl up sometimes & cuddle your Bible & just close your eyes & imagine laying your head on God's Knee or having Him stroke your hair. Find comfort at the foot of the Throne. You & your mum have not been forgotten - by us or by our Father.

 

[Sleepy]

Thank you

Many thanks for all your words. prayers and thoughts above Dave, Shepherd's Grace, Soldier, Kimhopper, Burgeon and Sapphire.

Had a really upsetting night. It's 7 am here and I just got back from Casualty. Mum came home yesterday from the hospice and needed help getting to the loo ( which I have done many times before) except she was too weak and I dropped her and she landed with a heavy thud on her face and head from standing height. I was worried I had killed her or damaged her her head and on ringing the doctor was advised to ring an ambulance. She was checked and seems okay but please pray she stays that way because not only am I very worried I am finding it difficult to forgive myself for what has happened. I keep seeing her lurch forward and thud to the floor head first in my minds eye over and over. She's banged her head twice today and I have been advised to keep a check on her.

The Ascites (fluid) is worse and drains aren't helping as much as they did. She is still not holding much down and is very weak and thin. Everything is such a struggle and the first day at home she falls twice.

I do know prayer is working though and feel God closer again. The nurses in casualty found mum a quiet private room to rest in and the ambulance brought her back home as well. Not to mention a nurse that bought Mum some fruity sweets and another that found me a pillow and duvet.

I still wish I could do more for Mum even though I am trying really hard. My best just isn't always good enough. I wish it was. I need God to help me be better. I have been a little weary at times and I need to battle on the last few days at work.

 

[peeps]

I pray for you sister Hope to see you soon to talk some more

 

[Aimz]

Sleepy... i keep comin bak 2 this thread...

i feel for u darling!! iknow this must b a hard time for u!!! but as long as u stay strong in the Lord u will conquer all!!

ill keep u in my thorts precious, an ill await updates on how ur mummy is..

God Bless u Sister!!

Love ya!

 

[mymakersdaughter]

Sleepy, I am praying for you and your mum. You can't do everything on your own, you are carrying so much on your shoulders. Please don't blame yourself, it was an accident, I can imagine that you feel horrible inside but it was just that - an accident. I pray for peace for you sleepy.

 

[Sapphire]

Sleepy, MMD is right. It was an accident & you can't beat yourself up about it. Guilt will steal so much from you. Is there something available that can assist you with in home care? Here in the states, we have home health nursing & in home hospice care. Nurses go to homes to take care of patients - bathing, assisting with daily care, etc. While they can't stay all the time, it does take some of the duties off of you so you can focus on just being her daughter instead of caregiver all the time.

Ask your doctor if some assistance can be provided. There are also devices that can help - bedside commodes, walkers, even lifts that will be gentle for the patient if you have to move them out of bed for something.

If none of this is available, pray each time you have to do something that God will magnify your physical strength & give you wisdom as to how to do the things you are needing to do.

Your faith is strong....He can continue to provide in all areas....physical strength included.

 

[shepherdsgrace]

Dear Sleepy,

It is so normal for you to keep seeing what happened in your mind. It was a stressful and just terrible thing for you both. But it will go away. It is just a normal reaction of your nerves and mind.

The day is going to come when you are going to be so grateful for every thing you are doing for your mom. This is a precious, stressfull, painful, loving time for you both.

REST IN THE LORD! Let him do your battling for you. There comes a time to just do what you must do and rest in Him. Trusting in Him. God is trustworthy. If it were not for him there would be no way you or your mother could do what you are doing....

It is so good to REST in the Lord.

God's precious presence to you dear Sister,
And to your mother.

I know that his love surrounds you both. And in the end that is what counts.

 

[Dave777]

Dear Sleepy, Christian Soldier :

Now it is your turn.

Your mum carried you, nourished you as a part of herself, gave birth to you,
and gave herself to you as her precious daughter, a gift from GOD.

As a totally helpless baby, you were completely dependent on her for everything.
She fed you, she bathed you, she changed your diapers, she held you close to
comfort you and reassure you, in a very scary and frightful exit from her womb
into a world of bright lights and confusion.

Her love helped you to grow and mature. It was her voice that you heard and
learned to speak from. It was her that was hurt when you were hurt. It was her
care that sacrificed out of LOVE, even so it was JESUS who watched over
you and cared for you just like your mom.

Now it is your time to be the mother and to care for your mum, as she is very
much like you, when you were a helpless child in her arms. Now by the
strength and power of the LORD JESUS CHRIST WHO LIVES FOREVER,
is the time that you will show your love for your mummy, in LOVE and
gratitude for what she has done for you in LOVE.

When you do these things that are helping your mother to survive always
remember what she has done for you and renew that love continuously by
seeing the things that she did for you, as a helpless child.

You are not alone as THE HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD, who lives in you
is helping and strengthening you.

See the LOVE of JESUS , as you remember what HE has done for us all,
and how much HE DEARLY LOVES you and your mum.

IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST, i pray.

 

[Sleepy]

Thank you

Thank you brothers and sisters in Christ.

Things are getting harder. I want her to have peace. I love her soooo much and I want her to know she has a secure place in heaven and that Jesus loves her. Please pray she doesn't have to endure so much pain and discomfort. I went to see our Vicar and he said she is saved because she believes in Jesus. He prayed for Mum and I and my family. I felt reassured and touched by the holy spirit. I know all your prayers gave me the courage to go and see him so thank you and yes God is truly right by my side.

Tonight though she said she 'thinks' she's going to heaven. Please pray that she is confident that she is because I've gone all wobbly again. I want her to feel secure. I keep prodding her to check she's okay breathing when she goes quiet. I know it's wrong but get scared.

I need protection from guilty thoughts, beating myself up because she hasn't walked since I dropped her and she went more poorly at times where I can pin point changes eg buying a house etc.

I know I have given almost all I could give and I thank God for his strength and goodness. I pray I keep marching on and be the best I can be.
I cannot thank you enough for your Godly and christian care and prayer. I have been well looked after and I appreciate every word and prayer offered to me.

I still ask for help because I know things get tougher and I need to keep punching. I hoped Mum would've made it to my cousins wedding this Friday but the nurses think it a bad idea. Please pray she isn't too disappointed. She is very determined. If there is a way to get her there ... pray we find it.

You have no idea how weak I was before I found you all and most of all Jesus. I never would have believed I could be so strong, though I break down at times... I function. I have you my friends to thank for setting me on this path and guiding me along to set on a journey with Jesus.

The thought of losing Mum strips me to the core but I know life is still worth living and when I arrived here I was hoping for a way out of the pits of despair I found myself in. You all know who you all are. With Christ you have picked up a tortured soul and tended to my wounds, pushing me forward.

Through pain I grow. I believe my life has purpose where before I felt I had little to offer as I wrapped myself in guilt and regret. I'm on my way. I think I still blame myself for a lot but at least I now know being Christian isn't about perfection but about glorifying God in life and repenting daily.

Mum has thanked me for being a 'rock'. I thank God for this as he has held me firm so I could be one.

Tomorrow I may be sad I may be glad but thanks folks .... you're carrying me through this battle and I have had the courage through prayer and true christian faith from you to stand firm on the front line.

I am truly blessed.

ps We have some fab nurses helping us now
pps I think I make an okay nurse too.... lol
ppps I still want to keep her