My Weakness. SOS, ?'s

[windmill2kids]

I have an addiction in which I have become entangled with again and again and again. God has helped me with the other ones, but this seems to be the biggest and hardest to quit. Please, Please pray for me. I even went to the extent as to PROMISE God that I would never do it again, just to make it to where I have NO CHOICE but to NOT do it. I know I'm not supposed to make promises to God, but I was desperate. I don't want to be away from God forever, I don't want to be reprobate! I especially don't want to be carried away in this addiction anymore. I hate it, absolutely hate that I am so weak and give into this addiction, even when I know that it's wrong and that God doesn't want me to do it. I'm so depressed. I need a med tweak or something, just anything! I have given into this temptation for the last time! I'm fed up with myself! I'm so desperate to not do this to Jesus ever again,,, I am just crucifying Him anew again and again, Hebrews 6:6. He has given me victory over my other weaknesses, then why has he not answered me on this one? Is it too late for me? Am I to be cast into hell forever! Am I one of those who has said Lord, LOrd , but I have done many works in your name,,, but then the Lord said , I know you not! What have I become! I'm my own worst enemy!!!!! I'm very scared, I'm bewildered, and I don't want to be lost forever to God. I'm so scared. There's nothing I want more than to just live a normal life again, one without addictions, one without Bipolar. I feel like a back sliding hypocrite, reprobateyish person!!!!!!!! Inside my soul I am screaming and falling in a deep dark hole, an abyss, with nothing to hold on to. How could I do this God, how could I do this to myself.
I will not rest until this demon is gone, I will not rest until I can understand why that going to church, and serving God has to be so difficult for me! Why do my kids have to act out in church so bad,, why do I have to feel peoples eyes staring and burning into my soul, why do I have to spend the rest of the evening in church crying my eyes out and being a nervous wreck. Why such a 2 month struggle in my soul with church? Why do I have to go on the internet and feed my addiction by watching nasty pictures. Why, why, why. Why am I more sensitive to touch than others? Why do my hormones go crazy. why am I even here? Sex addiction has really gotten to me, it has drug me under, and I am weak to it. Is there any support group therapy for something like that, for Christians who have succomed to that kind of thing? Please tell me someone, I'm dying to know, I'm dying for anything to heal this and be innocent and pure again,,, because right now I feel so filthy, and I can't get these images out of my head!!!!!!!! They are engraved and forever will be there.,, I really need to secretly chat with a Christian woman here or anywhere, about something which I cannot talk about in here. It's a question I have about intimacy, and it's just building up inside of me and no one to talk to about it. I feel like there is nobody in this whole world who has the same problem that I have, or I haven't seem them yet! I can't seem to see straight now. I better shutup and try to get some sleep. Sorry so long-winded. I'm a dramatic person and sometimes everything pent up inside needs to come out, It's also the Bipolar. Help

 

[MiccyinFl]

I am so sorry sister that you are going through this pain and frustration . I have struggled with similar issues , though not exactly the same . I would search for "intimacy" through sex . I obviously would not find it through that avenue , and would just do it more and more , rather than realize i waqsnt ever going to get what i wanted , and would just end up beating myself up , feeling dirty inside , and ashamed . That never stopped me from doing it again though !

I can not say I am completely healed of this searching , however i am able to fight it off better now .

Father , we thank you for all you have done in your daughters life to help her with her addictions. You are an awesome God , and through you all things are possible ! Thank you for your truths and promises to us . I ask that you please allow my dear sister in Christ to feel her voids filled up with your unending Love for her . Allow her peace and rest and healing . In Jesus' name I rebuke the spirits of lust from around her , as well as the spirits of despair and worthlessness. Father you know her heart , please give her what you know she needs. Thank you Lord that you hear every prayer from every heart . We love you Lord and praise your name . In Jesus' name , Amen

Sister please feel free to contact me if you wish to talk at anytime !

God bless you
Your sister in Christ
Miccy

 

[Gracealone]

2 Corinthians 5:17 Tells us: Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away behold all things are become new.

We must be born again.

Satan has no more power over you, and you do not need to be afraid for if God is for you, then who can be against you?
Satan may try to convince you that you are powerless , but in Christ we are more than conquerors through Christ who loved us so.

The Bible also warns us that we are servants to whom we obey, so start trusting Christ, and put some meat to your faith.

Some of your fear comes from believing a lie.....You cannot lose eternal life, once given., and that takes being truly born again.
The quote you spoke of is saying simply that "IF" you could lose your salvation, you would have to crucify Christ all over again, for it is impossible to bring one back to repentance, but we know that is not true, so this is saying the exact opposite. Hebrews 6:6
Are you born again?
Then you are more than a conqueror through Christ who loves you so.

 

[windmill2kids]

I was most definitely born again!!!! I got saved at my own home while I was sitting by myself, God spoke to me,,, and I wasn't even going to church at the time. I don't know why you believe that you cannot lose eternal life once given. "Once Saved, Always Saved", is a lie of Satan.

 

[carlos marquez]

God is going to work it out for you sister
Keep crying out to Him inwardly as
loud as you can.
wrestle this thing out
and boldly trust in His grace.
there is no shame in coffesion.
And remember you were bought
with a price worth more than all
the riches this world could offer
so nothing that happens in our
Christian walk takes God by
surprize.He knows your strugle
and only He can work it out.
He has created you and he
will bare you in your darkest hours.
Now I pray that you stay on your
toes and put on the whole amour
of God prepare for battle.
and be confident,because migthy
is the Captain of our of our souls.

Pon toda tu cofianza en Cristo..

 

[Gracealone]

I was most definitely born again!!!! I got saved at my own home while I was sitting by myself, God spoke to me,,, and I wasn't even going to church at the time. I don't know why you believe that you cannot lose eternal life once given. "Once Saved, Always Saved", is a lie of Satan.

No, dear one it is not a lie.

JOHN 3:16 SAYS; For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

"Have" here is a present tense. We HAVE everlasting life, if we are truly born again.
If it could be lost it wouldn't be everlasting.

I will not argue with you, only hoping to bring you words of comfort, and peace.

 

[windmill2kids]

Carlos, thank you so much. That is the most beautiful reply I have ever gotten in here, and you mentioned the whole armor of God,, which is funny , because that's exactly what my preacher preached on last Sunday morning. Ok, it's not funny, it's God. Thank you so much for reminding me of his love. I tend to forget about his love and only think of doom and gloom stuff. I just need reminders. God bless you Carlos, keep witnessing. )

 

[Boanerges]

Windmill2kids, God has indeed already provided a way of escape and overcoming. First let me say this; the desperation you feel after you sin, the guilt, the self loathing; these are sure signs that you are being convicted by the Holy Spirit. He will never leave you nor forsake you and neither will He be content to leave you where you are. This is proof positive that He is actively working in your life. He will sometimes bring us to a place were we actually detest our failures so much that we cannot even bear the thought of them.
Secondly He is always with us. If we become conscience of the fact that the Holy Spirit is constantly with us and wanting to interact with us on a personal level; that He wants to be a part of every aspect of our lives then we will not want to sin in the full knowledge that He is right there with us that very moment.
Thirdly, God could give us everything we seek at once but we are called to a faith walk. When temptation comes cry out to Jesus "give me strength Lord". Understand that when we cry out He hears and answers. Walk away believing that He has empowered you to do so, you will see deliverance.

 

[windmill2kids]

Thank you so much Bo.! It really makes sense, everything you said. Not to worry, I've been praying everyday for the victory over this and for strength,, so now I do feel better about this, and I do know that he will answer,,,, it's just sometimes I forget to pray and that's when I'm in trouble. I am trying the best I can though, and I know that's all he expects is that I give my best. You're right about walking away believing. what's the use for me to pray if I'm not going to believe that he will answer or have doubts. Thanks for reminding me of these things. I'll try to remember them.
By the way, how are you doing? I hope you are doing okay. I know you said in your poem that in the past the doctors were trying to find out what was wrong,, or something like that. I hope you're okay. Keep me updated.

 

[lilywhite]

Jesus loves you!
I really feel for you my sister. I have had similar struggles. I wanted to share some things that help me. So maybe some part may help you and anyone else who has similar struggles.
Always remind yourself that all your sins (past, present, future) have been paid for by Jesus' blood and sacrifice at the cross.
Jesus never condemns you. He loves you unconditionally.
When we sin, it brings Him grief and pain. When we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness. The blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from ALL sin.
Addiction is a strange thing, we land up doing the very thing we hate. Satan traps us in a cycle and tries to make us believe that we can never get out of it, because we have tried to so many times and then we confess our sins and then again fall back into it the next moment.
Jesus came to set the captives free and break the chains of addiction.
The images in our mind do get imprinted, and then the devil tries to torment us by bringing them back to memory. But they can go. I have found by experience that cleansing the mind by washing it with the Word of God helps.
We need to fill our minds with the Word of God constantly, it helps, God's Word is sharper than a two edged sword and His Word has the power to help us take those thoughts and images captive.
So everytime you fall and sin, repent, confess it and take your Bible out and read it. Try reading the Bible 3 times a day. When images flash through your mind, take authority over them in the name of Jesus and command them to be gone, bind them and take them captive in the name of JESUS. Every knee has to bow at the name of Jesus.
It may take a long time but the addiction will start losing its power over us as we keep doing this. I have found that the more i try and read the Bible, the more i have seemed to again fall harder, but then only to find that I have fallen into grace and Jesus' sacrifice and love touch my heart in an even deeper way.
Just to know that Jesus bore these filthy sins for me is overwhelming. Ours sins are paid for. Jesus died and rose again. Then it is His love that compels us, His love that heals us, His love that sets us free. He who is forgiven much, loves much. Look at the depth of God's love for you, how much He has forgiven you. Right now Jesus is loving you, right now in the midst of your weakness He loves you.

Your heart cry is what touches Jesus' heart. And sister, the cry of your heart is so evident in your post, its just longing for Jesus and to obey and love Him and not sin against Him, it is so beautiful. A broken and contrite heart and spirit is what pleases God, broken down with sorrow for sin, humble, willing to receive His love, forgiveness, mercy, grace. Psalm 51.
Why are you feeling the way you are? Because of the war that is raging between your flesh and spirit i think.
What Boanerges wrote is so very true and encouraging.

It would be good idea to surround yourself with believers who know Jesus' love, being in fellowship with godly believers will help, going to as many Bible studies as you can, prayer meetings, worship services etc. Sometimes even going for a nice christian retreat or conferences can help because you are surrounded in that spiritual atmosphere.
If it is possible, it may be good to get pastoral counseling from a woman pastor or a husband-wife pastor team, but they need to be people you can trust and who will keep everything you say confidential.

Sometimes old wounds or abuse of any kind in the past can cause addiction, so we need to identify the roots that are causing it and give that up to Jesus and get healing there. So it may be helpful for you to get professional christian counseling if that is the case.

I just want to encourage you that you are not alone my sister. No temptation or trial or struggle that you have experienced is what is not common to mankind. Lean on Jesus. Let your struggles and weakness make you run to Jesus instead of away from Him. God is not condemning you to go to hell. I imagine Bipolar probably just makes it harder, so try and keep the bipolar under control with regularly going to the doctor and stuff. Read Romans 8, the whole chapter. Memorize it if possible. Memorizing Scripture is very helpful, i read about that in a book by a christian psychiatrist.

 

[Dreamer]

Peace, be still, sister. Jesus knows your heartache and knows your desire to be cleansed and changed. This can be done in His name, sister. It is impossible for you, but quite possible for God.

I would very much like for you to contact me (that is, if you feel led) and we could speak and pray to our Lord on MSN?

If not myself, there are others here who will not condemn you and will spend time in prayer with you to our Lord! Jesus does not condemn you. He came into this world to save us, not condemn us.

You are obviously sorry for your sin and obviously want freedom to come after repentance. So let God do this tremendous work in you. He loves you so much...and we do too.

 

[Boanerges]

Thank you so much Bo.! It really makes sense, everything you said. Not to worry, I've been praying everyday for the victory over this and for strength,, so now I do feel better about this, and I do know that he will answer,,,, it's just sometimes I forget to pray and that's when I'm in trouble. I am trying the best I can though, and I know that's all he expects is that I give my best. You're right about walking away believing. what's the use for me to pray if I'm not going to believe that he will answer or have doubts. Thanks for reminding me of these things. I'll try to remember them.
By the way, how are you doing? I hope you are doing okay. I know you said in your poem that in the past the doctors were trying to find out what was wrong,, or something like that. I hope you're okay. Keep me updated.

He is truly our joy and strength is He not. When temptation comes run to the One you love!
And I am doing much better my sister thanks for asking.

 

[windmill2kids]

Thank you so much Lily! Such a lot of good advice!

 

[AngelicAngel]

Girl i know where you are comming from, believe me that is a lie from satan, he wants you to think that its only you that struggles with it,but in all honesty its not just you it gets me to. the Holy Spirit revealed to me earlier today as i was praying, for my husband also falls into this sin, that its the Spirit of Lust if its repetedly been done. He also revealed to me that if someone in your family either your mother or father or someone close has either been sexually abused or malested that it can often attach its self to their child if the person does not deal to it. as my both my Husband and i have found out that we both from an early age had been exposed to lust.
Just remeber that Greater is he that in in you than he who is in the world.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

I really need to secretly chat with a Christian woman here or anywhere, about something which I cannot talk about in here. It's a question I have about intimacy, and it's just building up inside of me and no one to talk to about it. I feel like there is nobody in this whole world who has the same problem that I have, or I haven't seem them yet!

I suggest that you post your message in the Women's Forum (men do not have access to that forum). That might be a comfortable venue for you.

Two Scriptures that I've used with great results over time in dealing with addictive behaviors are 1 Cor 10:13 NIV and 2 Cor 10:5b NIV. I also suggest that you purchase a copy of the Recovery Bible published by Thomas Nelson Co. You can probably find it on Amazon.com.

We believe in you, dear lady. Hang in there!

Spirit Led Ed (SLE)

 

[lizabe]

I was most definitely born again!!!! I got saved at my own home while I was sitting by myself, God spoke to me,,, and I wasn't even going to church at the time. I don't know why you believe that you cannot lose eternal life once given. "Once Saved, Always Saved", is a lie of Satan.

Dear Windmill, yes it is a lie of satan for the word of God says: Revelation 3:5 He that overcomes the same shall be clothed in white raiment and I will NOT BLOT his name out of the book of life......
So one's name CAN be erased from the book of life where ONLY saints of God names are written.

Father I come to you to ask you to release windmill from this sex addiction for your Son died for all our sins and sicknesses:: I bind you spirit of sexual lust in jesus name and by the blood of Jesus. Father send your love to her heart and fill it to overflowing in Jesus name amen. Thank you Jesus!

 

[Boanerges]

Dear Windmill, yes it is a lie of satan for the word of God says: Revelation 3:5 He that overcomes the same shall be clothed in white raiment and I will NOT BLOT his name out of the book of life......
So one's name CAN be erased from the book of life where ONLY saints of God names are written.

Father I come to you to ask you to release windmill from this sex addiction for your Son died for all our sins and sicknesses:: I bind you spirit of sexual lust in jesus name and by the blood of Jesus. Father send your love to her heart and fill it to overflowing in Jesus name amen. Thank you Jesus!

You are certainly entitled to your opinion. and belief one way or another will not keep either of us out of the Kingdom of God.
(red emphasis mine)

1Jn 5:5 Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?

1Jn 5:13 These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.

Those who are blotted out tasted God and His grace but loved the world more than Him. They were never really His children.

1Jn 2:19 They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.

 

[lizabe]

You are certainly entitled to your opinion. and belief one way or another will not keep either of us out of the Kingdom of God.
(red emphasis mine)

1Jn 5:5 Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?

1Jn 5:13 These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.

Those who are blotted out tasted God and His grace but loved the world more than Him. They were never really His children.

1Jn 2:19 They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.

Focus on helping those who need help.

 

[Gracealone]

My, don't you see, we all need help!

Praise God he loves us still!

 

[Mrs. Davis]

Yes you can lose salvation if you couldn't the Bible wouldn't state in Revelation chapter 22:18-19 that if you add unto these things God shall add unto you the plagues that are written in this book(Bible) and if any man take away from the words of the book of this prophecy God shall take away his part out of the book of life and out of the Holy city and from the things which are written in this book See in the scripture it shows that someone's name can be taken out of the book of life so that means it once had to be there in order for it to be taken out.