Puns and other pointless statements

[Waggles]

 

[B-A-C]

My wife and I recently went thru a town called Three Forks. But we didn't eat there, it sounds like they have a silverware shortage.

 

[Rhema]

Why did the Rooster cross the road? (To get to the chicken.)

 

[Admon Mikha'el]

I went shopping this morning...I tripped on the escalator and fell down the stairs for two and a half hours!

 

[Mayflower]

I went shopping this morning...I tripped on the escalator and fell down the stairs for two and a half hours!

This honestly went a bit over my head. Something about the moving stairs?

 

[Mayflower]

(Not about your pun admon, only clarifying, just cute cat on the subject of puns/pointless statements.)

 

[Brad Huber]

This honestly went a bit over my head. Something about the moving stairs?

tripped going up the down escalator perhaps

 

[Mayflower]

tripped going up the down escalator perhaps

I get that part. Just not the two and a half hour part. I know I'll be sitting later and it will just hit me. That happens a lot. LOL

 

[Rhema]

tripped going up the down escalator perhaps

Fell down the up escalator... for two and a half hours...
(Having actually fallen down the stairs, I'm glad it wasn't an up escalator).

 

[Rhema]

If it wasn't for my sense of humor, I wouldn't have any sense at all...

 

[Waggles]

A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His bill holds more than his belican.
He can take in his beak,
Enough food for a week,
But I'm damned if I see how the helican.

 

[Waggles]

There was a young lady of Lynn,
Who was so uncommonly thin
That when she essayed
To drink lemonade
She slipped through the straw and fell in.

 

[Waggles]

There was a young lady of Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside,
And the smile on the face of the tiger.

 

[Mayflower]

There was a young lady of Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside,
And the smile on the face of the tiger.

LOL

 

[Waggles]

A creature of charm is the gerbil
Its diet is exclusively herbal
It grazes all day
On bunches of hay
Passing gas with an elegant burble.

 

[Waggles]

There once was a farmer from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
It soon came to pass
He was covered with grass
But has all the tomatoes he needs.

 

[Mayflower]

I got pulled over by the grammar police. The cop was pretty passive about the sentence he gave me.

 

[Waggles]

 

[Rhema]

SCHOOL BUS CAMOUFLAGE !!

 

[Mayflower]

SCHOOL BUS CAMOUFLAGE !!

You know what the problem is with camouflage jokes?
You never see them coming.