Smacking children
- Thread starter Theosebes
- Start date
Jesus is Lord!
Hi, peeps!
Very interesting story, wow!
I do not have children.
I have worked as a therapeutic foster parent, and the lead staff for a children's institution (28-bed facility). I founded the CRTC (residential-school), and now in the process of writing a Christian behavioral model for the program.
I cannot "spank" the children for obvious reasons. I need to hear more about discipline without "spanking." Do you have any advice for me?
God bless you.
Your Sister in Christ,
Dr. Bon Vie/"Sylvia"
peeps said:
Hi, peeps!
Very interesting story, wow!
I do not have children.
I have worked as a therapeutic foster parent, and the lead staff for a children's institution (28-bed facility). I founded the CRTC (residential-school), and now in the process of writing a Christian behavioral model for the program.
I cannot "spank" the children for obvious reasons. I need to hear more about discipline without "spanking." Do you have any advice for me?
God bless you.
Your Sister in Christ,
Dr. Bon Vie/"Sylvia"
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In answer to peeps "tell me what you would have done?" I would have prayed...fast!
I too like you Burgeon, work with children and young people who i cannot smack so i have to find another way. I don't believe disapproval works either as it can crush the spirit of a child and lower their self-esteem.
I have friends that tell me smacking and discipline are very different as discipline is to do with discipleship and that you should run a tight ship...definitely, but since when did 'hitting' become something Jesus would have done? And that the shepherds 'rod' was used as an extension of his arm for boundary purposes.
Other friends say that Christians are being inadequate parents if they do not smack their children because discipline does mean smacking with or without an implement. Some do use spoons as suggested because it is less personal they say.
It seems it will be always be a tricky subject to interpret from the word and one that all parents should feel free in their relationship with God to choose the way they think is best without condemnation from those who do opposite.
I have to use a variety of techniques at work to enable families of children and young people to have good boundaries. Also, I deal with young people with behavioral problems in school (12-16yrs) by a host of means...lol...some conventional, some not so. The first thing i always try and do is to become significant to the young person. It usually involves a lot of patience and i do have a privileged role in that i have time to do this. If i were making vital decisions on their behalf i may not have the luxury of that time and relationship building with them. After that i rely on what God has put in my personality and given me in training to really try and see who they are. Always giving respect and warmth whether i receive it or not, while all the time i have air tight boundaries and rewards for the behavior i want to encourage and sanctions that matter to the young person when they display the behavior that is undesirable and unhelpful.
From what i have read of your posts, your work is very crucial and valuable to these young people you work with and for. May God richly resource you and bless you with wisdom....for your work....and for His glory.
I too like you Burgeon, work with children and young people who i cannot smack so i have to find another way. I don't believe disapproval works either as it can crush the spirit of a child and lower their self-esteem.
I have friends that tell me smacking and discipline are very different as discipline is to do with discipleship and that you should run a tight ship...definitely, but since when did 'hitting' become something Jesus would have done? And that the shepherds 'rod' was used as an extension of his arm for boundary purposes.
Other friends say that Christians are being inadequate parents if they do not smack their children because discipline does mean smacking with or without an implement. Some do use spoons as suggested because it is less personal they say.
It seems it will be always be a tricky subject to interpret from the word and one that all parents should feel free in their relationship with God to choose the way they think is best without condemnation from those who do opposite.
I have to use a variety of techniques at work to enable families of children and young people to have good boundaries. Also, I deal with young people with behavioral problems in school (12-16yrs) by a host of means...lol...some conventional, some not so. The first thing i always try and do is to become significant to the young person. It usually involves a lot of patience and i do have a privileged role in that i have time to do this. If i were making vital decisions on their behalf i may not have the luxury of that time and relationship building with them. After that i rely on what God has put in my personality and given me in training to really try and see who they are. Always giving respect and warmth whether i receive it or not, while all the time i have air tight boundaries and rewards for the behavior i want to encourage and sanctions that matter to the young person when they display the behavior that is undesirable and unhelpful.
From what i have read of your posts, your work is very crucial and valuable to these young people you work with and for. May God richly resource you and bless you with wisdom....for your work....and for His glory.
Jesus is Lord!
Hi, Theosebes!
Great feedback thanks. I believe that it is important to develop a rapport with the children. In the state of Utah the definition of "children" is 0-18 (0-24 special needs).
I have a broad background working with children in crisis, and I am educated in most of the conventional behavioral models used in America.
I am in the process of writing a Christian behavioral model. (Everyone and his or her brother regulate me. It is policy to have a method.)
I like the term “Shepherd’s Rod.” This would be a fun name for a Christian behavior model.
Please tell me more about your work.
Your Sister in Christ,
Dr. Bon Vie/”Sylvia”
Theosebes said:
Hi, Theosebes!
Great feedback thanks. I believe that it is important to develop a rapport with the children. In the state of Utah the definition of "children" is 0-18 (0-24 special needs).
I have a broad background working with children in crisis, and I am educated in most of the conventional behavioral models used in America.
I am in the process of writing a Christian behavioral model. (Everyone and his or her brother regulate me. It is policy to have a method.)
I like the term “Shepherd’s Rod.” This would be a fun name for a Christian behavior model.
Please tell me more about your work.
Your Sister in Christ,
Dr. Bon Vie/”Sylvia”
sisterh2005
Member
- Joined
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- Messages
- 39
personally i do beleive in discipline but not out of anger. you definately should discipline your children and the punishment should be according to the wrong that was done, if he jumped on the bed when u told him not to the punishment should be according to that but if he pushed his sister while they were on the stairs well, Pr 19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
Pr 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Pr 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
and anyway if God is our father then he is a great example of how we should parent our children
Heb 12:5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
Heb 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. Heb 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
Heb 12:8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
but it is important to make sure the child knows what they did wrong and why it was wrong first.
Pr 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Pr 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
and anyway if God is our father then he is a great example of how we should parent our children
Heb 12:5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
Heb 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. Heb 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
Heb 12:8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
but it is important to make sure the child knows what they did wrong and why it was wrong first.
What would Jesus do?
Never smack a child for any circumstances whatsoever.
I smacked my child once because she said she had enough of my discipline. Talking through emotions and taking privelages away, she said she would prefer a smack, as this what happened to her freinds.
So I decided I wanted her to feel as her freind did, so next time she misbehaved I smacked her, after giving her a slap I looked in her eyes, I felt what she felt.
We both agreed since that moment, we would never do smacking again.
"Love endures all things"
God Bless
Never smack a child for any circumstances whatsoever.
I smacked my child once because she said she had enough of my discipline. Talking through emotions and taking privelages away, she said she would prefer a smack, as this what happened to her freinds.
So I decided I wanted her to feel as her freind did, so next time she misbehaved I smacked her, after giving her a slap I looked in her eyes, I felt what she felt.
We both agreed since that moment, we would never do smacking again.
"Love endures all things"
God Bless
love
I am from a caribbean island and I grew up with my mom, dad, brothers and sisters. and we were a handful and more. we got punished when we did something wrong but not always. the punishment was not filled with hate. every time my mother or father punished me i cried sure.... but i learned. Can't remember the exact book at the moment but doesn't the bible say something about foolishness lying in the heart of a child and the rod of correction driving it out.
everyon will not have the same view on this mainly because of our culture our individuality and all of that.
the bottom line is if you are going to punish your child do it with love ... if not then u better find a way to correct them and achieve the desire outcome that u want.
i hope this helps
God bless
be joyful always
I am from a caribbean island and I grew up with my mom, dad, brothers and sisters. and we were a handful and more. we got punished when we did something wrong but not always. the punishment was not filled with hate. every time my mother or father punished me i cried sure.... but i learned. Can't remember the exact book at the moment but doesn't the bible say something about foolishness lying in the heart of a child and the rod of correction driving it out.
everyon will not have the same view on this mainly because of our culture our individuality and all of that.
the bottom line is if you are going to punish your child do it with love ... if not then u better find a way to correct them and achieve the desire outcome that u want.
i hope this helps
God bless
be joyful always
Gloriatrix
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- 10
old man
I am an old man, and I have just joined today, so forgive me if I have not joined in properly here.
I grew up in an age when beatings were the norm. I was beaten at home as a child, beaten remorselessly at school, and then beaten at home again when they found out that I had been beaten at school - beaten for being beaten! We were poor, and the children were beaten like beasts by adult society. It was barbaric. I dont want to say more, but I was not alone, it was all of society - it was the way things were.
The Lord reveals truth to those with eyes and ears; beating 'the least of these' is wrong, it is an injury done to God's great creation as it kills the spirit of the children of Christ and leaves a hurt with them all their days.
I am an old man, and I have just joined today, so forgive me if I have not joined in properly here.
I grew up in an age when beatings were the norm. I was beaten at home as a child, beaten remorselessly at school, and then beaten at home again when they found out that I had been beaten at school - beaten for being beaten! We were poor, and the children were beaten like beasts by adult society. It was barbaric. I dont want to say more, but I was not alone, it was all of society - it was the way things were.
The Lord reveals truth to those with eyes and ears; beating 'the least of these' is wrong, it is an injury done to God's great creation as it kills the spirit of the children of Christ and leaves a hurt with them all their days.
We shouldnt speak of different cultures, we all belong to Christ.
To smack a child is evil for sure, Why are you all not looking to Christ on this matter.
Thank you Gloriatrix for your reply, I have 5 children, they dont get spanked at all.
It is a good way to put hate inside them.
To smack a child is evil for sure, Why are you all not looking to Christ on this matter.
Thank you Gloriatrix for your reply, I have 5 children, they dont get spanked at all.
It is a good way to put hate inside them.
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2004
- Messages
- 17,078
Cognitive you are wrong. Scripture teaches us that if necessary to spank the children as a form of loving discipline. This below is from my first post in the first page of this thread.
Proverbs 13:24
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
Proverbs 23:13
Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
Matthew Henry's Commentary:
Proverbs 23:12-16
Here is a parent instructing his child to give his mind to the Scriptures. Here is a parent correcting his child: accompanied with prayer, and blessed of God, it may prove a means of preventing his destruction. Here is a parent encouraging his child, telling him what would be for his good. And what a comfort it would be, if herein he answered his expectation! (Pr 23:17)
GOD is not wanting you to brutally abuse your child or beat them to a pulp. GOD says if it is necessary to discipline with a rod (i.e. a smack on the butt) than you must / should so do to correct your child for his / her own sake.
Proverbs 13:24
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
Proverbs 23:13
Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
Matthew Henry's Commentary:
Proverbs 23:12-16
Here is a parent instructing his child to give his mind to the Scriptures. Here is a parent correcting his child: accompanied with prayer, and blessed of God, it may prove a means of preventing his destruction. Here is a parent encouraging his child, telling him what would be for his good. And what a comfort it would be, if herein he answered his expectation! (Pr 23:17)
GOD is not wanting you to brutally abuse your child or beat them to a pulp. GOD says if it is necessary to discipline with a rod (i.e. a smack on the butt) than you must / should so do to correct your child for his / her own sake.
Discipline and Spanking are words that dont share the same meaning.
You say I am wrong on spanking then quote scripture that contains nothing about a physical spanking. Discipline is not spanking.
A rod is more of a tickling stick than a beating stick in my eyes. Like a rod of guidance not to spank with but to show a child the way. KJV uses the word "beat" I know. I doubt it means a physical beat. NIV uses "punish" My other version says "spank" I ask you to study it and ask God to show you the way.
I read somewhere on these forums lately I think maybe Yeshua commented about a rod being more of a tickling stick than a beating rod. Sorry if I have imagined this, but would love to know what the rod was used for in the time the proverbs writer was. I can look it up when I have more time.
I dicipline my children of course. With Love and understanding, no need to spank.
I seen many parents spank their children without discipline.
A major problem with todays society.
Chad could you imagine Jesus spanking a child?
I ask my son here next to me about smacking he is 7.
"smacking children???? why??" he replies.
I am sorry if I offend anyone with my words, I truly believe Jesus has taught me how to discipline my children without physical spanking.
God Bless.
You say I am wrong on spanking then quote scripture that contains nothing about a physical spanking. Discipline is not spanking.
A rod is more of a tickling stick than a beating stick in my eyes. Like a rod of guidance not to spank with but to show a child the way. KJV uses the word "beat" I know. I doubt it means a physical beat. NIV uses "punish" My other version says "spank" I ask you to study it and ask God to show you the way.
I read somewhere on these forums lately I think maybe Yeshua commented about a rod being more of a tickling stick than a beating rod. Sorry if I have imagined this, but would love to know what the rod was used for in the time the proverbs writer was. I can look it up when I have more time.
I dicipline my children of course. With Love and understanding, no need to spank.
I seen many parents spank their children without discipline.
A major problem with todays society.
Chad could you imagine Jesus spanking a child?
I ask my son here next to me about smacking he is 7.
"smacking children???? why??" he replies.
I am sorry if I offend anyone with my words, I truly believe Jesus has taught me how to discipline my children without physical spanking.
God Bless.
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2004
- Messages
- 17,078
Brother who said "beating stick"? I did not. The rod is to spank them (say their butt for example). No one said it was to brutalize or torture them. Tickling stick? So my child does something wrong enough to require discipline am I going to tickle him now? (a bit of humour yes).
Please read my original post here for this thread
http://www.talkjesus.com/showthread.php?t=2959&page=1&pp=10
The rod is to discipline them, like a little slap (light) to warn them. It is done out of love. Some read into it literally and assume blood shed or brutalizing the child. No, that is not the case. Please do study the verses carefully. Also keep in mind that not all children are disciplined and/or "calm" for example.
Please read my original post here for this thread
http://www.talkjesus.com/showthread.php?t=2959&page=1&pp=10
The rod is to discipline them, like a little slap (light) to warn them. It is done out of love. Some read into it literally and assume blood shed or brutalizing the child. No, that is not the case. Please do study the verses carefully. Also keep in mind that not all children are disciplined and/or "calm" for example.
Proverbs 23:13&14Yeshua said:
13* Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
14* Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Doesn't really matter what the rod was. According to this scripture you are to beat the child with it, not tickle his or her ears. That is part of the problem today, we think we can reason with everyone about everything. I have never met a child, who needed lessons on how to be bad or disobedient. It's our nature. We do need lessons on how to be good and to do what is right. Because of our nature we are motivated by one of two things, pain or pleasure.
I was refering to the KJV it uses the phrase "beat", not you Chad
In my life I have 5 children, I have never spanked them on their butts. No point.
I know of many other parents who spank their children. That is their choice. What good it does I am yet to see. Maybe a fellow parent could share why this is so important. I was spanked all my life.
I have been put in this situation by God, being a parent, surrounded by other peoples children on a daily basis. I have been given my role model, which is Christ. I follow him, quote him for spanking children. I follow Christ not proverbs. Christ is the only way. You all know Christ here. Stop for a moment, imagine him spanking a child. We are to be like him.
Are you certain I am wrong and I should start to spank my children? I wouldnt want to miss out on bringing them up properly. I thought to refrain from spanking I was being Christlike.
Im sorry for replying before reading your other thread. Will take a look now.( I just read all this thread thinking it was another. The stories a few people have written about children misbehaving, I am constantly praised on the behaviour of my children. They understand how to behave. Its love and understanding that does it. Christ taught me that<we all know this without referring to scripture surely? It is late I am tired) Brackets added in edit.
Thank you for your time, I continue for wisdom only.
God bless.
Thank you jigglyfly :thumbs_up
In my life I have 5 children, I have never spanked them on their butts. No point.
I know of many other parents who spank their children. That is their choice. What good it does I am yet to see. Maybe a fellow parent could share why this is so important. I was spanked all my life.
I have been put in this situation by God, being a parent, surrounded by other peoples children on a daily basis. I have been given my role model, which is Christ. I follow him, quote him for spanking children. I follow Christ not proverbs. Christ is the only way. You all know Christ here. Stop for a moment, imagine him spanking a child. We are to be like him.
Are you certain I am wrong and I should start to spank my children? I wouldnt want to miss out on bringing them up properly. I thought to refrain from spanking I was being Christlike.
Im sorry for replying before reading your other thread. Will take a look now.( I just read all this thread thinking it was another. The stories a few people have written about children misbehaving, I am constantly praised on the behaviour of my children. They understand how to behave. Its love and understanding that does it. Christ taught me that<we all know this without referring to scripture surely? It is late I am tired) Brackets added in edit.
Thank you for your time, I continue for wisdom only.
God bless.
Thank you jigglyfly :thumbs_up
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Please, bare with me as you read this poem. It is very deep & very hard for one to take in, so hard, it almost feels abusing just to read it! It was past on to me, from another Christian Group I go to. It's about Child Abuse!
There are thousands of kids out there just like the little 3 year old in this poem. And you can help.
It sickens me to my soul, and reminds me, we must do something about it! So all I am asking you to do is take some time to send this on and acknowledge that this stuff does happen, and that people like her dad do live in our society, and pray for children everywhere! Also pray for the safety of our youth.
Please pass this poem on as a Blue Ribbon Against Child Abuse because as awful as it might sound, it might just save a life. Hey, you NEVER know.
The Blue Ribbon Against Child Abuse
Sarah
My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my Mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all,
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my Mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.
Please forward if you are
*~*~*AGAINST CHILD ABUSE *~*~
There are thousands of kids out there just like the little 3 year old in this poem. And you can help.
It sickens me to my soul, and reminds me, we must do something about it! So all I am asking you to do is take some time to send this on and acknowledge that this stuff does happen, and that people like her dad do live in our society, and pray for children everywhere! Also pray for the safety of our youth.
Please pass this poem on as a Blue Ribbon Against Child Abuse because as awful as it might sound, it might just save a life. Hey, you NEVER know.
The Blue Ribbon Against Child Abuse
Sarah
My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my Mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all,
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my Mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.
Please forward if you are
*~*~*AGAINST CHILD ABUSE *~*~
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- Joined
- Feb 9, 2004
- Messages
- 17,078
Thank you for sharing that poem Jonah. I have heard these (and I'm sure most of you have) child abuse cases similiar. It is sickening indeed. I am a man that would be "nosy" if I saw a man or woman abusing their child right before my eyes in public. I"m sorry to say I would probably want to spit in thier faces to give them a slightest fair hint of what its like to be dealt with in a manner unacceptable.
I would never hurt my children (don't have any yet) at all. I think its sick and just simply put, not Christ-like. Discipline, yes out of love for sure. Otherwise, I'm just a worthless parent after all if I don't discipline them.
God bless you.
I would never hurt my children (don't have any yet) at all. I think its sick and just simply put, not Christ-like. Discipline, yes out of love for sure. Otherwise, I'm just a worthless parent after all if I don't discipline them.
God bless you.
You're very welcome Chad! To tell you the truth, I was a little worried about posting it. Because, the poem it's self was so tragic. And, my heart breaks just at the thought of it! But, I agree with you, though I might not have the guts to spit in their face, I don't mind saying that I wouldn't ignore it & would call the corps! I would also love to run up & hug that child & to tell him/her; "no-one is ever going to hurt you ever agian, because, besides me, being here with you now, GOD'S here with you, too!"
Many years ago My ex-sister-in-law was a foster mother. She had taken in a baby boy. She said that the baby boy was born normal - but the baby's parents must not have been all there. Because, when ever the baby would cry they would either shake him violently or worse, kick him in the head. Now that baby is permanently mentally retarded & dangerous. Dangerous, because he doesn't know his own strength, and he doesn't know any better & can't seem to understand when he is hurting someone, in his mind's eye he is just playing. All because, of the wicked hand of man - that baby's parents. Why? Why, do people have to be so crule?
Many years ago My ex-sister-in-law was a foster mother. She had taken in a baby boy. She said that the baby boy was born normal - but the baby's parents must not have been all there. Because, when ever the baby would cry they would either shake him violently or worse, kick him in the head. Now that baby is permanently mentally retarded & dangerous. Dangerous, because he doesn't know his own strength, and he doesn't know any better & can't seem to understand when he is hurting someone, in his mind's eye he is just playing. All because, of the wicked hand of man - that baby's parents.
Why? Why, do people have to be so crule?
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