What kept me alive physically long enough to be Born again when I was 20 was what my Mother told me (after my nervous breakdown as they were called then) was that: "If you kill yourself, you freeze yourself forever in the agony and desperation that caused you to end you life in the first place.
The fundamental problem with suicide is that it's a final proof that you really "did it all to yourself". I think for one thing, maybe those people who hanged themselves didn't realize how long it would take them to die like that, cutting open an artery is slower and more painful than they imagine, I'll bet. It's a decision. The issue is free will. You should have had that anyway, and I don't mean the blinky lights Nintendo game of rewards and punishments presented by child psychologists like Jim Dobson for example, if you have those kinds of parents, you should be able to just tough it out until you turn 18, get your own job, get your own driver's license, and assume the legal rights attending to state majority. A good society would question why a citizen had done that, an honest lawyer or clerk of the court would investigate the persons circle of family, friends, and acquaintances to see if the person had lost respect or been denied constitutional freedom. I'm not a licensed attorney at law, but based on my years of experience, I'd say, let's have a Thirteenth Amendment indictment under the law, and see if the person was really forced to commit suicide to escape slave conditions under which no other free will choices were possible or being honored if made.
"The spirit of suicide." Interesting way to put it, I'll be sure to look into the pigs being sent over the side of the cliff incident in the gospels on that. There was a part where Jesus cast out demons with a word, and the man was next seen sitting clothed, and in his right mind. I need to read that again.
Your dad was a warlock? Believe it or not, I believe you. Witches and wizards get married and celebrate the solstices and equinoxes, as well as four more holidays described as the cross quarters, and I've even read 'blog type journals by people like that. I'm sure that "I'm glad that didn't happen to me." is a calloused and rather blase response to your problem, but still...I'm glad that didn't happen to me.
There's no reason to kill yourself at all. In fact, if you are able to do so, it's an argument against the notion that your rights were so badly violated that that is what caused you to do it. If you were able to kill yourself, then you either got ahold of a weapon, or escaped to the Golden Gate Bridge from the Manson House nearby in San Francisco or something like that. Also, it doesn't atone for your sins, if you committed any. First, you are not a perpetuating sacrifice for anyone yourself included, also you are neither the judge nor the Governor of the State, who have to both authorize and carry out a legal execution.
Dia Gnosis? I'd never thought to break the spelling down that way. It should have been Dio instead of Dia, if you intend the first part of the syllabification to be in Latin, but then Gnosis is Greek anyway, so you should be reading Theo Kinossis as a best transliteration into the English alphabet. God's Knowledge. I wonder where your doctor thinks he's getting that, you're not seeing some kind of channeling witch doctor are you?
May the Lord bless us and keep us close to him.
Psychiatry is all archetypal. I know you're too old for role playing, but it goes a lot deeper than that. Each "disease" is a description of some agitated visible behaviors. Now I am by no means denying that some people are criminals, but when was the last time you heard about a serious criminal actually being sent to see a psychiatrist? Crime is one thing; psychoanalysis is something else. All psychiatric diseases in DSM 5, of which I own a copy, are of "the fidgets". Furthermore, psychiatric language is identical to the language of James Joyce, which I hope you haven't had to read, as it's abysmally bad. It's a "spelling game". As you might know from other posts on this site "spelling" is a common euphemism for witchery, although I assure you that they do more than invent new and silly words that no one can spell. If you ever get a chance, invest in a copy of DSM, and you'll start to understand what your real problem is viz the psychiatrist. Read some of those words out loud, with the Bible verse about "Wizards who peep and mutter." to the forefront of your mind. I'm sorry you have been sucked into that system of things, and if you're just out of work right now, then I hope that your circumstances, the economy, and the safety of yours and the potentially employing capitalists improve. Best of luck.
A generational curse is a vendetta against one family line of descent by another one. It isn't in the Bible, except by David against the Philistines, and you don't read that translation. All other curses in the Bible are of the ground (the land was cursed because of Cain's murder in front of the first alter of sacrifice). Don't worry anything at all about there being a generational curse against your family, unless you are descended from the Philistines.
