Why won’t God give me a godly man?

[Enxu]

I was brooding over why I became so bitter about life and one thing I know is that there has been nothing in my life that was playing out the way I wanted it. I’ve been dealing with one injustice after another and things haven’t gotten any better after 29 years.

One of the most important things I wanted was a godly husband. I have always been a very conservative woman even before I came to Christ. I fantasized a lot about having a loving man in my life but my reality is entirely different. I was emotionally abused for years by my father who had anger management issues, and it led to years of insecurity. But when I tried to open up and be myself, the men I attracted were either ungodly or also abusive. I’ve read every self help guide I could and it’s helped overcome my insecurity but most of the men wanting to come into my life was never any better.

I just don’t understand. I’ve kept myself a virgin for 29 years and treated people decently well. I don’t party, I’m not like many vain and attention seeking women who hurt other women out of jealousy, why don’t I have any good man in my life? Those jezebel like women get all the good men wooing and treating them like queens but decent woman like me get only the abusive and ungodly ones who step over you even if you never did them any wrong. This is beyond unfair and it hurts and gets me bitter.

 

[Demily]

Hey Enxu, honestly I'm gonna say something that you've probably heard a million times. Pray for Jesus to bring you to the truth and nothing but the truth, devote yourself to him and show him your faithfulness to him. Ask him for his will to be done. And if it's his will it will happen. He knows what you long for, he also knows how devoted you are to him.. Just know, from my point of view that I didn't have a "godly man" when me and the man I'm with first got together. Everything was total opposite. Yes we believed in Jesus, we even discussed that the first time we met but we didn't act like we did. We were getting high everyday and just living a sinful lifestyle and I got pregnant and all that. We now have an almost 3 year old. We have changed a lot since we first met. But I find myself longing after God and it is hard having a little family, trying to please them and please Christ. He makes it possible yes, but it is a LOT harder to focus on him now that I have them to focus on too. Jesus has to be first. No matter what. So I would say to you, try to get as close to Christ as possible. Don't worry about anyone but Christ and your life will play out the way he wants it too. Some will disagree, that's okay. I just know what I've struggled with has been finding time for Him through this life... I always think about how I should have devoted my life to him while I was single and had more knowledge. (Biblical knowledge) I want my son to love Christ and live for him whole-heartedly no matter what but I want to be able to be the role model he needs. My son's father has really just now started trying to find Christ, truly. He's started picking up his bible and praying more.. I've been praying for us to find Him and that he will help us live for him and so on. But prayer obviously is what you need to do. And don't stop praying for it.
Sorry this was long I just felt you need to hear from my point of view

 

[Enxu]

Hey Enxu, honestly I'm gonna say something that you've probably heard a million times. Pray for Jesus to bring you to the truth and nothing but the truth, devote yourself to him and show him your faithfulness to him. Ask him for his will to be done. And if it's his will it will happen. He knows what you long for, he also knows how devoted you are to him.. Just know, from my point of view that I didn't have a "godly man" when me and the man I'm with first got together. Everything was total opposite. Yes we believed in Jesus, we even discussed that the first time we met but we didn't act like we did. We were getting high everyday and just living a sinful lifestyle and I got pregnant and all that. We now have an almost 3 year old. We have changed a lot since we first met. But I find myself longing after God and it is hard having a little family, trying to please them and please Christ. He makes it possible yes, but it is a LOT harder to focus on him now that I have them to focus on too. Jesus has to be first. No matter what. So I would say to you, try to get as close to Christ as possible. Don't worry about anyone but Christ and your life will play out the way he wants it too. Some will disagree, that's okay. I just know what I've struggled with has been finding time for Him through this life... I always think about how I should have devoted my life to him while I was single and had more knowledge. (Biblical knowledge) I want my son to love Christ and live for him whole-heartedly no matter what but I want to be able to be the role model he needs. My son's father has really just now started trying to find Christ, truly. He's started picking up his bible and praying more.. I've been praying for us to find Him and that he will help us live for him and so on. But prayer obviously is what you need to do. And don't stop praying for it.
Sorry this was long I just felt you need to hear from my point of view

Ive prayed about this for years. I’ve even told Jesus that if a godly man is brought into my life I would not be living in this kind of bitterness. No answer.

The men I’ve met were either emotionally unavailable and used me as a rebound, or they were downright ungodly and tried to ruin my reputation by seducing me first and then painting me in an ugly light when I rejected their sexual and dubious advances.

Women who were mean and jealous of me also tried to ruin my reputation when the men they fancied treat me well. In the end, they get treated well instead while I’m left crawling in the dirt.

I’ve been treated like trash for doing nothing wrong and your situation is nowhere like mine.

 

[Demily]

You're right, sorry for trying to help.

 

[Enxu]

You're right, sorry for trying to help.

No it’s ok. I didn’t explain very well. Anyway I should also make clear why I want a godly husband.

First, my childhood has been painful with an abusive upbringing. Somewhere inside I wanted to feel the fatherly love I never did when I grew up.

Second, as a woman I need someone to lead me spiritually. I have lost my career to bad bosses and colleagues and now have no motivation to even carry on living. All I can think about is when my life will end so my misery ends. If a godly man comes I might still have some motivation to live because I would have someone who can care for me emotionally and provide for me.

I know God is more than enough but having absolutely no spiritual and emotional support from another human being is devastating. I wonder why I’m still alive if my life is in shambles and there is nothing to live for.

 

[Trevor]

I was brooding over why I became so bitter about life and one thing I know is that there has been nothing in my life that was playing out the way I wanted it. I’ve been dealing with one injustice after another and things haven’t gotten any better after 29 years.

One of the most important things I wanted was a godly husband. I have always been a very conservative woman even before I came to Christ. I fantasized a lot about having a loving man in my life but my reality is entirely different. I was emotionally abused for years by my father who had anger management issues, and it led to years of insecurity. But when I tried to open up and be myself, the men I attracted were either ungodly or also abusive. I’ve read every self help guide I could and it’s helped overcome my insecurity but most of the men wanting to come into my life was never any better.

I just don’t understand. I’ve kept myself a virgin for 29 years and treated people decently well. I don’t party, I’m not like many vain and attention seeking women who hurt other women out of jealousy, why don’t I have any good man in my life? Those jezebel like women get all the good men wooing and treating them like queens but decent woman like me get only the abusive and ungodly ones who step over you even if you never did them any wrong. This is beyond unfair and it hurts and gets me bitter.

For a start Enxu, Those Jezebel like women don't get the good men, because good men aren't attracted to that kind of woman. For many Years I, like you were insecure and my insecurity, rather than making me attractive actually caused people to be wary of me. I was blessed however, The Lord gave me Helen and she taught me to love and now 50 or so years later I am at peace because the Lord has renewed my heart through his Word. Jesus calls us to love him and he says that he will give us the desires of our hearts. He knows what you are feeling, better than you do, he created you. Trust him, he will never let you down. In the mean time embrace him through his Word, He'll answer your prayers, and give you the special man that will meet all your needs and desires. but be patient, and that patience will make you the strong person he wants you to be. bless you.

 

[PloughBoy]

No it’s ok. I didn’t explain very well. Anyway I should also make clear why I want a godly husband.

First, my childhood has been painful with an abusive upbringing. Somewhere inside I wanted to feel the fatherly love I never did when I grew up.

Second, as a woman I need someone to lead me spiritually. I have lost my career to bad bosses and colleagues and now have no motivation to even carry on living. All I can think about is when my life will end so my misery ends. If a godly man comes I might still have some motivation to live because I would have someone who can care for me emotionally and provide for me.

I know God is more than enough but having absolutely no spiritual and emotional support from another human being is devastating. I wonder why I’m still alive if my life is in shambles and there is nothing to live for.

"Enxu" the power of God rest upon you! Meaning the anointing is on you. There are few women, I mean very few, when they speak about the Word, the Holy Spirit is strong in their print with the anointing.. While others speaks about God's Word their is no anointing in their print even when they guote it. Through your pain and deep suffering in Christ you have the fragrance and aroma that only comes from a beautiful crush Rose that lies in the Gardeners hand, that only a few can recognize and sense its preciousness and the hand that crush it. Many are special and very special , for special purpose for His good pleasure, and many of times some relationship will harm our relationship with Him, and do us more harm than good because who we are in the body of Christ, for He is the one that fit us into place, every joint into its proper place. For I know you already know this. You do have a special place in His Kingdow to come for He shapes you now, and their are many who will gladly fed your desire and heart to get off course. Satan knows how to cater to our hearts desire. For you know all read,ly only God is faithful and Godly, Men are Manly and try to be Godly and they will fell you , and our Father will not. I say continue to seek our Father and the things in Heavenly places. The pain you share from your obedience in Jesus Christ is much more precious than silver or Gold even to us who are in Christ Jesus, you do us so much by your richness and by your living sacrifice and the things you deny of your self, my loving sister in Christ who will forever be in my life through out eternity, forever and ever and ever, that I will never say good by. You see things in God that many cannot see in Christ in this world for human words cannot describe it and you are not alone. "For sometimes His burden is "Light"!

 

[Reba1]

Chips carried on our shoulders show the world our temperament . I read the post to be very angry and self centered . Envious of others very sad,. Amen @Trevor

 

[Trevor]

Chips carried on our shoulders show the world our temperament . I read the post to be very angry and self centered . Envious of others very sad,. Amen @Trevor

Hi Reba, I'm intrigued as to why @Trevor is linked to your post, or was the post to me?

 

[Reba1]

Hi Reba, I'm intrigued as to why @Trevor is linked to your post, or was the post to me?

Because i really like the post you made. this one

For a start Enxu, Those Jezebel like women don't get the good men, because good men aren't attracted to that kind of woman. For many Years I, like you were insecure and my insecurity, rather than making me attractive actually caused people to be wary of me. I was blessed however, The Lord gave me Helen and she taught me to love and now 50 or so years later I am at peace because the Lord has renewed my heart through his Word. Jesus calls us to love him and he says that he will give us the desires of our hearts. He knows what you are feeling, better than you do, he created you. Trust him, he will never let you down. In the mean time embrace him through his Word, He'll answer your prayers, and give you the special man that will meet all your needs and desires. but be patient, and that patience will make you the strong person he wants you to be. bless you.

 

[Enxu]

Hi Reba, I'm intrigued as to why @Trevor is linked to your post, or was the post to me?

That particular poster hasn’t been friendly with me. Now I’m being called self centered for being truthful to my feelings.

 

[Enxu]

For a start Enxu, Those Jezebel like women don't get the good men, because good men aren't attracted to that kind of woman. For many Years I, like you were insecure and my insecurity, rather than making me attractive actually caused people to be wary of me. I was blessed however, The Lord gave me Helen and she taught me to love and now 50 or so years later I am at peace because the Lord has renewed my heart through his Word. Jesus calls us to love him and he says that he will give us the desires of our hearts. He knows what you are feeling, better than you do, he created you. Trust him, he will never let you down. In the mean time embrace him through his Word, He'll answer your prayers, and give you the special man that will meet all your needs and desires. but be patient, and that patience will make you the strong person he wants you to be. bless you.

Yes, I know you are right. I’m just bitter that I get the bad treatment for doing nothing wrong, but the bad women who hurt me get the good treatment (not necessarily from good men) even though they had the jezebel spirit working in them to ruin others. I’ve met two jezebel like women and they get the good outcome while I get hurt by them for doing nothing. I’ve lost two jobs to these kind of women when I had both the ethics and capabilities to do well in my job, but they continue on with their smooth lives without any consequences for hating me without cause.

I just don’t understand why I’m being put through this. These bad people in my life were clearly sent by Satan to tempt me, to make me feel bitter so I give up on God but I don’t know what good is coming out of it. I used to be a very cheerful person but now life is a drag and I weep every now and then. The pain I’ve been carrying has gone as far as to affect my facial features and it’s showing on my photos. I have hair loss that is making me near bald and I’m not even 30 years old.

I won’t give up on God or Jesus ever but I just don’t know why this had to keep happening. I know you don’t have the answer either but that’s what’s keeping me stuck now. My life has become completely meaningless, I have no career and no relationship that works. Everything important in my life had been turned upside down pretty much like Job.

 

[Enxu]

For a start Enxu, Those Jezebel like women don't get the good men, because good men aren't attracted to that kind of woman. For many Years I, like you were insecure and my insecurity, rather than making me attractive actually caused people to be wary of me. I was blessed however, The Lord gave me Helen and she taught me to love and now 50 or so years later I am at peace because the Lord has renewed my heart through his Word. Jesus calls us to love him and he says that he will give us the desires of our hearts. He knows what you are feeling, better than you do, he created you. Trust him, he will never let you down. In the mean time embrace him through his Word, He'll answer your prayers, and give you the special man that will meet all your needs and desires. but be patient, and that patience will make you the strong person he wants you to be. bless you.

The only thing that is keeping me from going insane over the level of injustice I’m experiencing is the fact that I know God Himself suffered. He lost His own Son to death in order to save us. His Son suffered in every degree I did and yet remained sinless. That is the only truth that comforts me now and why I won’t give up on Him ever.

 

[PloughBoy]

The only thing that is keeping me from going insane over the level of injustice I’m experiencing is the fact that I know God Himself suffered. He lost His own Son to death in order to save us. His Son suffered in every degree I did and yet remained sinless. That is the only truth that comforts me now and why I won’t give up on Him ever.

Remember he is our example: how he was treated so will we be treated. Remember , the world loves its own. [ people, the system, everything that belongs to this world in essence, is against the true children of God, even the fig tree that refuse to bare fruit that Jesus could eat from in its season. Remember this, that is why are not to forsake the gathering together that we can remind one another to encourage each other. This world is not our friend, and the things that are in it. Our comfort comes from God and not from develop nations, We most remind each other, that Christianity is not the example of "The American dream", Christianity is a picture of failure, and being hated, under paid, punish for mentioning "Jesus" name in the work place in schools in the public square. Remember, they cast you out of churches, call you everything but a child of God, will scandalize your name in the streets and the market place. And through all of this, how are we to response? We respond in such a "Way" the world has not the power to so or the ability to walk in such a "Way"! And when we become weak and weary to do so, we have the power of divine prayer to do so, and a direct command from GOD He will answer to give "Us" the desires of our hearts according to His divine will. God will grant us to walk in the path ways of "The Beatitudes"! The Lord knows what He is doing, when He commands us to do so, no matter how we are treated. If you are in the military at war, you will follow that commander even you know you are going to die and you have no chance you could win that battle. How can we refuse a greater commander, for it leads into eternal life and greater awards, Let the Sermon on the mountain be your fuel, "the Beatitudes" engulf you, and the "Holy Spirit" comfort you in which "no" mortal man can rightly do for neither has the power to do so no matter how many quotes they know. Shalom,

 

[PloughBoy]

Psalms 37
Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.

2For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.
3Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
4Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
6And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
7Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.
8Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.
9For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.

Something's in the LORD are "conditional"! So says the Bible.

 

[eliazar.orta]

No it’s ok. I didn’t explain very well. Anyway I should also make clear why I want a godly husband.

First, my childhood has been painful with an abusive upbringing. Somewhere inside I wanted to feel the fatherly love I never did when I grew up.

Second, as a woman I need someone to lead me spiritually. I have lost my career to bad bosses and colleagues and now have no motivation to even carry on living. All I can think about is when my life will end so my misery ends. If a godly man comes I might still have some motivation to live because I would have someone who can care for me emotionally and provide for me.

I know God is more than enough but having absolutely no spiritual and emotional support from another human being is devastating. I wonder why I’m still alive if my life is in shambles and there is nothing to live for.

Hey, is there any way to send PM´s on here? I´m new to this, I want to help you.

 

[Enxu]

Thank you @PloughBoy

 

[Ivan Chamurliev]

I was brooding over why I became so bitter about life and one thing I know is that there has been nothing in my life that was playing out the way I wanted it. I’ve been dealing with one injustice after another and things haven’t gotten any better after 29 years.

One of the most important things I wanted was a godly husband. I have always been a very conservative woman even before I came to Christ. I fantasized a lot about having a loving man in my life but my reality is entirely different. I was emotionally abused for years by my father who had anger management issues, and it led to years of insecurity. But when I tried to open up and be myself, the men I attracted were either ungodly or also abusive. I’ve read every self help guide I could and it’s helped overcome my insecurity but most of the men wanting to come into my life was never any better.

I just don’t understand. I’ve kept myself a virgin for 29 years and treated people decently well. I don’t party, I’m not like many vain and attention seeking women who hurt other women out of jealousy, why don’t I have any good man in my life? Those jezebel like women get all the good men wooing and treating them like queens but decent woman like me get only the abusive and ungodly ones who step over you even if you never did them any wrong. This is beyond unfair and it hurts and gets me bitter.

Hi Enxu. I don't know what to tell you exactly, so that you can feel relieved. I am living a similar situation, because of circumstances and choices I've made for my life. I am not speaking for the bad choices, but for the good ones I've made, to follow Jesus, to follow His way and will for my life. From the post you wrote I believe that you also made these kind of choices, to live a godly life and to surrender to God's will. There is nothing better than that!
And with these kind of choices other things come along sometimes. Jesus said that we need to carry daily our cross, so that we can be His disciples. Luke 9:23 The situation which you are living might be your cross for this time of your life.
I don't know about you, but I personally forget all the things I miss, all the things I lack and all my problems when I'm at His feet, when I hear clearly His voice, when I feel close to Him. And yes, I don't always feel in this way, but I'm in a constant research for it.
What we need to do is to keep on trusting in Him. For everything and mostly to keep on following Him through the circumstances.
There is a song that sometimes I listen to. It is called "Trust in You" by Lauren Daigle.
Hear it when you've got some time. It is encouraging.
I believe that for each situation of our life we need to have this attitude.

 

[Enxu]

Hey, is there any way to send PM´s on here? I´m new to this, I want to help you.

Just click on my avatar and visit my profile page you can PM me from there

 

[Enxu]

Hi Enxu. I don't know what to tell you exactly, so that you can feel relieved. I am living a similar situation, because of circumstances and choices I've made for my life. I am not speaking for the bad choices, but for the good ones I've made, to follow Jesus, to follow His way and will for my life. From the post you wrote I believe that you also made these kind of choices, to live a godly life and to surrender to God's will. There is nothing better than that!
And with these kind of choices other things come along sometimes. Jesus said that we need to carry daily our cross, so that we can be His disciples. Luke 9:23 The situation which you are living might be your cross for this time of your life.
I don't know about you, but I personally forget all the things I miss, all the things I lack and all my problems when I'm at His feet, when I hear clearly His voice, when I feel close to Him. And yes, I don't always feel in this way, but I'm in a constant research for it.
What we need to do is to keep on trusting in Him. For everything and mostly to keep on following Him through the circumstances.
There is a song that sometimes I listen to. It is called "Trust in You" by Lauren Daigle.
Hear it when you've got some time. It is encouraging.
I believe that for each situation of our life we need to have this attitude.

All of what you and Ploughboy said is what I know as well. But like you said it’s impossible to feel ok all the time no matter how much we want to trust God and this thread is one of the times I don’t feel ok about my circumstances.

The worst thing about what I’m going through is that few even understand why we are so “misfortunate” as Christians. They see our tragedies and either look on, mock in secret and/or shy away from us like we’re some kind of jinx. No one would lift a finger to help, not even those who used to support me. They think something is wrong with me because my life is one misery after another.

I still wish my life would end quickly so I don’t have to wake up wondering why I’m still in this body of death. It is better for me to be dead (asleep) so that my soul would have rest. But God has not permitted me to leave. So I’m just looking and waiting to see what God will unfold in my life next. Meanwhile I don’t think this ups and downs in my emotions will be completely gone.