Why won’t God give me a godly man?

[Ivan Chamurliev]

I still wish my life would end quickly so I don’t have to wake up wondering why I’m still in this body of death. It is better for me to be dead (asleep) so that my soul would have rest. But God has not permitted me to leave. So I’m just looking and waiting to see what God will unfold in my life next. Meanwhile I don’t think this ups and downs in my emotions will be completely gone.

I understand you. Some things are just not pleasant. But there is a way and a plan that you need to go through. We all have to. We need first to accomplish God's will and plan until that moment comes. And this is much more precious and greater than the moments we are going through right now and it will have eternal weight and value.
Obviously all of us want to be with the Lord right now where the problems will end up. There are other things which we don't see now, but one day I think we will.