Yet another weird dream

[Twistie]

I hear you there.
but in my experience, spiritual problems linger forever, until you deal with them properly.

part of my mind doesn't want to deal with it properly which is why i still don't remember much of anything prior to age 7. and no, that's not a good thing.

Ya can't let go with what u choose to hold to..

If ya keep looking back ya will neva see what's in front of you or what's coming... don't for get Lots wife..

I don't remember alot of things but YH has set me free from all of it what eva it may have been..I know this because I have a peace that's unexplainable even in the midst of these trials that have been raining down on us..

With out Him right know I would of thrown my hand up n went back to the streets.. been many years since I walked them streets like many do.. but they still call me.. only YH is stronger then that call that call is just a whisper that comes by every now n then..


Twistie

 

[watertolive]

I hear you there.
but in my experience, spiritual problems linger forever, until you deal with them properly.

part of my mind doesn't want to deal with it properly which is why i still don't remember much of anything prior to age 7. and no, that's not a good thing.

Greetings in the Lord
Your still trusting in your own strength; you must trust in God.
With the heart of a little child, seeking Him with all your heart, mind, body and strength; very important...as a little child.
What do little children do?
All praise glory and honor be unto God. Amen

 

[joestue]

What do little children do?

they ask God what to do.

my most recent authentic desires to actually do that..have led me to more strongly want to fix this problem, and i am my best mentally when i keep an open mind about what could happen. * my wife for example has had multiple dreams that do imply some kind of platonic at least reconciliation. i have had suspicions that this woman is my half sister for 2 years now, and finding out for sure would definitely change a few things.

maybe a few weeks ago I had a dream in which I was my 5 year old self, boasting to my dad "I know some things about <name> that you don't... he looks at me like what?.. I say conceitedly "she's a witch"..

i wake up wondering.. did i actually try to tell my dad that when i was 5? i probably did.

by age 8 or so, i had completely given up on all social and emotional attempts at a relationship with anyone, including my parents. i have friends yes, but i am completely closed off emotionally from them.
as my wife describes "you're not just a different colored rubik's cube, you are a rubik's knot in a cage."

*but with time and age and all that.. you end up realizing.. chances are slim. and you let go of any emotional involvement. stop beating a dead horse..
but, i would be highly surprised if God actually desires other men who have been in similar situations i am in or have been in; to be as emotionally demoralized as i am. like.. that's not the way forwards. you have to actually figure out what justice looks like and ask God for it, which requires that you be perfect.

in the past 6 months iirc i found a 26 yr old woman in a relationship with a 46 yr old man.. she was asking for relationship advice because she had a lot of autonomic nervous system reactions around him. her gut felt so good.. but it bothered her. i message her privately. she tells me this guy is just like her dad.. a guy who knew her as a child. a family friend. she then tells me her dad molested her. so i told her what happened to me.. and i'm like.. "woman i don't think i need to tell you .. this guy.. not your dad.. is the perp"

her reply is "yeah i've thought about that but i'm not sure...
and i'm like.. yeah i'm 10 years older than you and i still don't know for sure..

mean while hundreds of other people reply to her saying "we can't judge.. you are both adults."
i was the only person out of a couple hundred who recognized her descripions of her body's responce... to be childhood trauma.

 

[watertolive]

they ask God what to do.

my most recent authentic desires to actually do that..have led me to more strongly want to fix this problem, and i am my best mentally when i keep an open mind about what could happen. * my wife for example has had multiple dreams that do imply some kind of platonic at least reconciliation. i have had suspicions that this woman is my half sister for 2 years now, and finding out for sure would definitely change a few things.

maybe a few weeks ago I had a dream in which I was my 5 year old self, boasting to my dad "I know some things about <name> that you don't... he looks at me like what?.. I say conceitedly "she's a witch"..

i wake up wondering.. did i actually try to tell my dad that when i was 5? i probably did.

by age 8 or so, i had completely given up on all social and emotional attempts at a relationship with anyone, including my parents. i have friends yes, but i am completely closed off emotionally from them.
as my wife describes "you're not just a different colored rubik's cube, you are a rubik's knot in a cage."

*but with time and age and all that.. you end up realizing.. chances are slim. and you let go of any emotional involvement. stop beating a dead horse..
but, i would be highly surprised if God actually desires other men who have been in similar situations i am in or have been in; to be as emotionally demoralized as i am. like.. that's not the way forwards. you have to actually figure out what justice looks like and ask God for it, which requires that you be perfect.

in the past 6 months iirc i found a 26 yr old woman in a relationship with a 46 yr old man.. she was asking for relationship advice because she had a lot of autonomic nervous system reactions around him. her gut felt so good.. but it bothered her. i message her privately. she tells me this guy is just like her dad.. a guy who knew her as a child. a family friend. she then tells me her dad molested her. so i told her what happened to me.. and i'm like.. "woman i don't think i need to tell you .. this guy.. not your dad.. is the perp"

her reply is "yeah i've thought about that but i'm not sure...
and i'm like.. yeah i'm 10 years older than you and i still don't know for sure..

mean while hundreds of other people reply to her saying "we can't judge.. you are both adults."
i was the only person out of a couple hundred who recognized her descripions of her body's responce... to be childhood trauma.

Greetings
Little kids seek the help from one bigger then them, you know, someone who knows more than they do. They do it with a humble, not knowing nothing, heart.
God ask of us to seek Him in this manner.
All glory be to God. Amen

 

[joestue]

Greetings
Little kids seek the help from one bigger then them, you know, someone who knows more than they do. They do it with a humble, not knowing nothing, heart.
God ask of us to seek Him in this manner.
All glory be to God. Amen

when i do that i keep getting more interesting results that point to a bigger picture here than a simple case of an inappropriate childhood relationship i'm not allowed to remember yet.