littledavid
Member
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2020
- Messages
- 14
hello to all,
I found this site after googling certain questions I keep asking myself and having my doubts. first off, I’m 20 I come from having a strong drug addiction before I decided to leave it all and turn to GOD and Jesus. I know we all have individual lives and GOD has put water and fire infront of us and has given us the choice to chose. I’ve made my mistakes I know that and I accept that the way my life has turned out is entirely my fault, and I don’t expect him to pull me out the hole I dug for myself, but a helping hand would’ve been nice. I have tried over and over , prayed over and over and I still feel the same as I did when I took those drugs, alone and empty.
At the moment I am completely alone, I’ve cut everybody off my life, no friends no nothing, and also left off in bad terms with some of them. I look around and see how even the most evil people who rob & do other horrible things seem to be having the time of their life. Did I do something so bad as where I can’t even get 1 prayer answered ? Did leaving off in bad terms with other people now mean I must carry their sin even though I was the one that was done wrong ?
I’ve been “sober minded” for a while now but is it worth it ? I also question myself a lot about GOD too. My father was murdered in a brutal and unimaginable painful way when I was younger, the people who did it were never caught but I never cared because I always held faith that GOD was going to be the one to judge them. But what if he’s not even there. What if all my prayers and thoughts in my head can only be heard by me only and my father died the way he did for nothing. I’m scared to even think that he’s not there, I truly am. I must say there have been some sort of coincidences and messages I’ve seen lately but maybe they are just that “coincidences”. I’m getting so tired of this, I don’t know if I wanna keep worshipping a GOD that allows all this misery in my life while some guy that doesn’t even believe in him and belittles him gets to have the time of his life.
I really don’t know what to believe. And I don’t speak just for myself but for those other people suffering , those in other places that are not even given the chance to believe in him ect. But that would be talking about a whole another subject. Sorry to take some of your time I just have a lot of my mind , hope I can get some words from you guys.
I found this site after googling certain questions I keep asking myself and having my doubts. first off, I’m 20 I come from having a strong drug addiction before I decided to leave it all and turn to GOD and Jesus. I know we all have individual lives and GOD has put water and fire infront of us and has given us the choice to chose. I’ve made my mistakes I know that and I accept that the way my life has turned out is entirely my fault, and I don’t expect him to pull me out the hole I dug for myself, but a helping hand would’ve been nice. I have tried over and over , prayed over and over and I still feel the same as I did when I took those drugs, alone and empty.
At the moment I am completely alone, I’ve cut everybody off my life, no friends no nothing, and also left off in bad terms with some of them. I look around and see how even the most evil people who rob & do other horrible things seem to be having the time of their life. Did I do something so bad as where I can’t even get 1 prayer answered ? Did leaving off in bad terms with other people now mean I must carry their sin even though I was the one that was done wrong ?
I’ve been “sober minded” for a while now but is it worth it ? I also question myself a lot about GOD too. My father was murdered in a brutal and unimaginable painful way when I was younger, the people who did it were never caught but I never cared because I always held faith that GOD was going to be the one to judge them. But what if he’s not even there. What if all my prayers and thoughts in my head can only be heard by me only and my father died the way he did for nothing. I’m scared to even think that he’s not there, I truly am. I must say there have been some sort of coincidences and messages I’ve seen lately but maybe they are just that “coincidences”. I’m getting so tired of this, I don’t know if I wanna keep worshipping a GOD that allows all this misery in my life while some guy that doesn’t even believe in him and belittles him gets to have the time of his life.
I really don’t know what to believe. And I don’t speak just for myself but for those other people suffering , those in other places that are not even given the chance to believe in him ect. But that would be talking about a whole another subject. Sorry to take some of your time I just have a lot of my mind , hope I can get some words from you guys.