Anxiety. Dating a believer.

[KittyLinda]

Greetings everyone,

I did not post on this site for a very long time. I was dealing with a breakup and a spiritual crisis last year. It was so tough and depressing, but God showed me that HIS light is there even in our dark times. God truly knows and sees everything, and if we trust him, then he surely has a plan for us. I surrendered to God, repented of my sins, and I got baptized last year. God delivered me from demonic oppression, and filled me with the Holy Spirit. Many other good things happened. So I guess it was not a very horrible year after all. God also restored my relationship with my mother. I have been reading my bible and attending church since my conversion, and I am very involved in church activities now. Sometimes my daughter makes me super busy, but I try to serve the lord when I can, and it makes me so happy. I feel blessed more than ever.

I could talk forever about what God has done in my life, but I want to get to the point of this post. I have been praying that God will send the right person. My ex bf was not a Christian, and I tried to please him and God, but that did not work well for me. We have a kid, I was so confused about my priorities. I thought there was a potential for my ex to know God and that we could become a happy family, but the more I tried the further I was getting away from my faith and God. At one point, I was going through a faith crisis, but I'm glad God did not give up on me, even though I failed to please him many times. I nearly gave up.

Anyway, I have been dating a born again believer for about 3 months now. We met in my Bible studies. We attend the same church. The first time we had a conversation, maybe we talked for 2 hours lol. I didn't even feel the time passed that quick. I was so sure we could have kept talking about God and things forever lol. We have a lot in common, too. My father is a pastor and his grandfather is a pastor, and he has few evangelists in his family, too. We both have kids from previous relationships. His ex-wife said she was not in love with him, so she divorced him, and left him for unbeliever, and I can relate as my ex was not happy about me becoming very serious about my Christian faith. So he also left and started seeing a woman from his past, then he ended it, and now he is dating another woman.

I told him a lot about the good things that happened in my life recently, but I also felt like he should know about some of my troubles. I wanted to be honest that I messed up badly when I tuned away from God. He prays with me and he encourages me a lot. I told him about my mental health issues, and about my conversion last year, but I did not say a single word more than having 'unstable relationships' when he asked about what is it like being a borderline. I just hoped that he would research it himself. I also did not tell him anything about my addiction, my destructive behavior, and my bisexuality. I fear judgment sometimes but I feel that he should know about my bisexuality if we continue dating, because of my past romantic relationships with women, my previous gay-marriage, etc.. It is not something I can keep in a box and there is just so much darkness from my past that is so painful for me to mention to people, and if I do not say anything, then I guess I am not being honest, and things may go south in the end?

I am very attracted to him. I think I kissed him several times this past week alone. I hope that is not just being passionate about someone, because I also believe God answered my prayers. Really my heart sometimes beats so hard, and I want him to know more about me, but I've been having some anxiety and panic attacks lately that took a lot of my joy. I am very stressed. It is because there is more negative things to say about my life all these past years than good.

We are thinking seriously about this now, and I want to believe he is the one, especially that some of my church friends started noticing about us and they teased me a bit about it. I have so much insecurities. There is a voice that just tells me all sort of negative things how this won't work well for me, maybe because I feel he is much stronger in his faith than I am, but I also prayed for a godly man who can lead and make my faith stronger. I believe he is the one that God sent for me. I say this because he speaks the word of God, very faithful, practices what he speaks and he is a respectful and cheerful man.

Should I focus on what is going on in my life now than what has happened before? This is also the first time I'm dating a believer, so yeah I am probably overthinking it, but I want to make sure things are going well before I introduce him to my family. I met his mom and his sister once, some of his friends. They are very lovely people. How long I hold telling him more about these other things I struggle with, or he does not have to know? I often get so emotional, or too impulsive about what I say, so I have no idea how this will turn out. I am not good at controlling my thoughts.

I will appreciate any advice. Also, keep us in your prayers.

I apologize if I can't reply quick enough. I will keep coming for this post. Your prayers are enough if you can't give any advice. Thank you.

Blessings,

 

[Andyindauk]

Hi Kitty,

WOW! This guy is definitely an upgrade from the last one lol! He ticks three big boxes, you pray together, you chat about God together and you both have a shared desire for Him.

I'd say there's one more box to tick and this is one for you to tick. You need to open up and share with him all your past. If what he hears is more than he can handle, he judges you and decides that you're not good enough for him, then you've dodged a bullet, he's not worthy of you. I doubt that'll be the outcome, he sounds better than that. You both need to be honest with each other, no pretence.

Hope everything goes well for you.

God bless x

 

[JerryfromMass]

Greetings everyone,

I did not post on this site for a very long time. I was dealing with a breakup and a spiritual crisis last year. It was so tough and depressing, but God showed me that HIS light is there even in our dark times. God truly knows and sees everything, and if we trust him, then he surely has a plan for us. I surrendered to God, repented of my sins, and I got baptized last year. God delivered me from demonic oppression, and filled me with the Holy Spirit. Many other good things happened. So I guess it was not a very horrible year after all. God also restored my relationship with my mother. I have been reading my bible and attending church since my conversion, and I am very involved in church activities now. Sometimes my daughter makes me super busy, but I try to serve the lord when I can, and it makes me so happy. I feel blessed more than ever.

I could talk forever about what God has done in my life, but I want to get to the point of this post. I have been praying that God will send the right person. My ex bf was not a Christian, and I tried to please him and God, but that did not work well for me. We have a kid, I was so confused about my priorities. I thought there was a potential for my ex to know God and that we could become a happy family, but the more I tried the further I was getting away from my faith and God. At one point, I was going through a faith crisis, but I'm glad God did not give up on me, even though I failed to please him many times. I nearly gave up.

Anyway, I have been dating a born again believer for about 3 months now. We met in my Bible studies. We attend the same church. The first time we had a conversation, maybe we talked for 2 hours lol. I didn't even feel the time passed that quick. I was so sure we could have kept talking about God and things forever lol. We have a lot in common, too. My father is a pastor and his grandfather is a pastor, and he has few evangelists in his family, too. We both have kids from previous relationships. His ex-wife said she was not in love with him, so she divorced him, and left him for unbeliever, and I can relate as my ex was not happy about me becoming very serious about my Christian faith. So he also left and started seeing a woman from his past, then he ended it, and now he is dating another woman.

I told him a lot about the good things that happened in my life recently, but I also felt like he should know about some of my troubles. I wanted to be honest that I messed up badly when I tuned away from God. He prays with me and he encourages me a lot. I told him about my mental health issues, and about my conversion last year, but I did not say a single word more than having 'unstable relationships' when he asked about what is it like being a borderline. I just hoped that he would research it himself. I also did not tell him anything about my addiction, my destructive behavior, and my bisexuality. I fear judgment sometimes but I feel that he should know about my bisexuality if we continue dating, because of my past romantic relationships with women, my previous gay-marriage, etc.. It is not something I can keep in a box and there is just so much darkness from my past that is so painful for me to mention to people, and if I do not say anything, then I guess I am not being honest, and things may go south in the end?

I am very attracted to him. I think I kissed him several times this past week alone. I hope that is not just being passionate about someone, because I also believe God answered my prayers. Really my heart sometimes beats so hard, and I want him to know more about me, but I've been having some anxiety and panic attacks lately that took a lot of my joy. I am very stressed. It is because there is more negative things to say about my life all these past years than good.

We are thinking seriously about this now, and I want to believe he is the one, especially that some of my church friends started noticing about us and they teased me a bit about it. I have so much insecurities. There is a voice that just tells me all sort of negative things how this won't work well for me, maybe because I feel he is much stronger in his faith than I am, but I also prayed for a godly man who can lead and make my faith stronger. I believe he is the one that God sent for me. I say this because he speaks the word of God, very faithful, practices what he speaks and he is a respectful and cheerful man.

Should I focus on what is going on in my life now than what has happened before? This is also the first time I'm dating a believer, so yeah I am probably overthinking it, but I want to make sure things are going well before I introduce him to my family. I met his mom and his sister once, some of his friends. They are very lovely people. How long I hold telling him more about these other things I struggle with, or he does not have to know? I often get so emotional, or too impulsive about what I say, so I have no idea how this will turn out. I am not good at controlling my thoughts.

I will appreciate any advice. Also, keep us in your prayers.

I apologize if I can't reply quick enough. I will keep coming for this post. Your prayers are enough if you can't give any advice. Thank you.

Blessings,

Stay single. Raise your child in a manner pleasing to God. Serve the Lord in whatever way you can in your life. Reach out to the lost and afraid with the gospel of Jesus Christ. To God be the glory in all things. Amen.

 

[Gregoryp]

Follow your heart and pray fervently. He will listen and answer . But it seems to me your prayers have been answered, so that makes it a little easier.

 

[PearlB]

Greetings everyone,

I did not post on this site for a very long time. I was dealing with a breakup and a spiritual crisis last year. It was so tough and depressing, but God showed me that HIS light is there even in our dark times. God truly knows and sees everything, and if we trust him, then he surely has a plan for us. I surrendered to God, repented of my sins, and I got baptized last year. God delivered me from demonic oppression, and filled me with the Holy Spirit. Many other good things happened. So I guess it was not a very horrible year after all. God also restored my relationship with my mother. I have been reading my bible and attending church since my conversion, and I am very involved in church activities now. Sometimes my daughter makes me super busy, but I try to serve the lord when I can, and it makes me so happy. I feel blessed more than ever.

I could talk forever about what God has done in my life, but I want to get to the point of this post. I have been praying that God will send the right person. My ex bf was not a Christian, and I tried to please him and God, but that did not work well for me. We have a kid, I was so confused about my priorities. I thought there was a potential for my ex to know God and that we could become a happy family, but the more I tried the further I was getting away from my faith and God. At one point, I was going through a faith crisis, but I'm glad God did not give up on me, even though I failed to please him many times. I nearly gave up.

Anyway, I have been dating a born again believer for about 3 months now. We met in my Bible studies. We attend the same church. The first time we had a conversation, maybe we talked for 2 hours lol. I didn't even feel the time passed that quick. I was so sure we could have kept talking about God and things forever lol. We have a lot in common, too. My father is a pastor and his grandfather is a pastor, and he has few evangelists in his family, too. We both have kids from previous relationships. His ex-wife said she was not in love with him, so she divorced him, and left him for unbeliever, and I can relate as my ex was not happy about me becoming very serious about my Christian faith. So he also left and started seeing a woman from his past, then he ended it, and now he is dating another woman.

I told him a lot about the good things that happened in my life recently, but I also felt like he should know about some of my troubles. I wanted to be honest that I messed up badly when I tuned away from God. He prays with me and he encourages me a lot. I told him about my mental health issues, and about my conversion last year, but I did not say a single word more than having 'unstable relationships' when he asked about what is it like being a borderline. I just hoped that he would research it himself. I also did not tell him anything about my addiction, my destructive behavior, and my bisexuality. I fear judgment sometimes but I feel that he should know about my bisexuality if we continue dating, because of my past romantic relationships with women, my previous gay-marriage, etc.. It is not something I can keep in a box and there is just so much darkness from my past that is so painful for me to mention to people, and if I do not say anything, then I guess I am not being honest, and things may go south in the end?

I am very attracted to him. I think I kissed him several times this past week alone. I hope that is not just being passionate about someone, because I also believe God answered my prayers. Really my heart sometimes beats so hard, and I want him to know more about me, but I've been having some anxiety and panic attacks lately that took a lot of my joy. I am very stressed. It is because there is more negative things to say about my life all these past years than good.

We are thinking seriously about this now, and I want to believe he is the one, especially that some of my church friends started noticing about us and they teased me a bit about it. I have so much insecurities. There is a voice that just tells me all sort of negative things how this won't work well for me, maybe because I feel he is much stronger in his faith than I am, but I also prayed for a godly man who can lead and make my faith stronger. I believe he is the one that God sent for me. I say this because he speaks the word of God, very faithful, practices what he speaks and he is a respectful and cheerful man.

Should I focus on what is going on in my life now than what has happened before? This is also the first time I'm dating a believer, so yeah I am probably overthinking it, but I want to make sure things are going well before I introduce him to my family. I met his mom and his sister once, some of his friends. They are very lovely people. How long I hold telling him more about these other things I struggle with, or he does not have to know? I often get so emotional, or too impulsive about what I say, so I have no idea how this will turn out. I am not good at controlling my thoughts.

I will appreciate any advice. Also, keep us in your prayers.

I apologize if I can't reply quick enough. I will keep coming for this post. Your prayers are enough if you can't give any advice. Thank you.

Blessings,

I think you should bring it all into the light. It would be terrible if he found out from somebody else. Pray and ask God to show you how and when to share your past with your boyfriend and ask God to prepare him in advance for what you have to say. And the trust him to work things out for the best even though it may mean you split up. Don't try and hang on to something that God may close the door on. I hope things turn out well for you. Many blessings.

1 John 1:7
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

 

[KittyLinda]

Hi Kitty,

WOW! This guy is definitely an upgrade from the last one lol! He ticks three big boxes, you pray together, you chat about God together and you both have a shared desire for Him.

I'd say there's one more box to tick and this is one for you to tick. You need to open up and share with him all your past. If what he hears is more than he can handle, he judges you and decides that you're not good enough for him, then you've dodged a bullet, he's not worthy of you. I doubt that'll be the outcome, he sounds better than that. You both need to be honest with each other, no pretence.

Hope everything goes well for you.

God bless x

I also do not think he will judge me, but this issue with my sexuality, and how I turned to drugs and shortly later finding out about my pregnancy causes a lot of discomfort, and it touches on a family trauma when the devil got me. I turned to God after being imprisoned, and after being locked in a psychiatric hospital for a long time. Telling him this is going to raise red flags, and that is ok, but I am not sure if he got to know me enough, before I tell him about this darkness. I mean I am not that person anymore. That is all.

I am really not finding the right moment to tell him this, but I have to soon.

God bless,

Please pray that God will make this easy for us both.

 

[KittyLinda]

Stay single. Raise your child in a manner pleasing to God. Serve the Lord in whatever way you can in your life. Reach out to the lost and afraid with the gospel of Jesus Christ. To God be the glory in all things. Amen.

If it's God's will for me to stay single, then I trust him to know the best for me.

Blessings,

 

[KittyLinda]

I think you should bring it all into the light. It would be terrible if he found out from somebody else. Pray and ask God to show you how and when to share your past with your boyfriend and ask God to prepare him in advance for what you have to say. And the trust him to work things out for the best even though it may mean you split up. Don't try and hang on to something that God may close the door on. I hope things turn out well for you. Many blessings.

1 John 1:7
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

I think what you say is very wise, and I will ask our lord to show me how to share with him my past. I really do not want to be an obstacle in a believer's life, even though I believe I've changed a lot, but my mental health is not the best when things get rough, and nothing terrifies me more than people abandoning me, but I know God will never abandon his child, and that is what I need to remember that Christ is all I need to be truly happy.

Blessings,

 

[PearlB]

I think what you say is very wise, and I will ask our lord to show me how to share with him my past. I really do not want to be an obstacle in a believer's life, even though I believe I've changed a lot, but my mental health is not the best when things get rough, and nothing terrifies me more than people abandoning me, but I know God will never abandon his child, and that is what I need to remember that Christ is all I need to be truly happy.

Blessings,

I think you are right to seek the right way to tell him of your past. It would be unrighteous to carry on too far into a new relationship with so many secrets, it would not make for a stable and secure future. Right from when I first met my husband we have not kept secrets. He had been a bit of playboy but because I knew about his past I wasn't taken by surprise or shocked when an old flame turned up out of the blue with a grown up daughter who was my husbands child. Just imagine what that would have been like if had kept it from me. Don't keep secrets, don't tell lies - bring everything into the light. And may you find peace for your soul.

 

[PloughBoy]

Christianity has move from Full blown Pelagianism into a river of flowing "Religious Intellectualism.". The thought patterns has move to a another Track, and The Engine is more "Powerful than a Locomotive" and the Baggage cars are Full and as it pulls, "The Diesel" is Humming, Running Coast to Coast. LORD come quickly, for our oil is running low.

"The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.’ No,’said the wise ones, ‘or there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’"

 

[PearlB]

Christianity has move from Full blown Pelagianism into a river of flowing "Religious Intellectualism.". The thought patterns has move to a another Track, and The Engine is more "Powerful than a Locomotive" and the Baggage cars are Full and as it pulls, "The Diesel" is Humming, Running Coast to Coast. LORD come quickly, for our oil is running low.

"The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.’ No,’said the wise ones, ‘or there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’"

What is Pelagianism ?

 

[PloughBoy]

What is Pelagianism ?

Pelagius was a monk from Britain, whose reputation and theology came into prominence after he went to Rome sometime in the 380's A.D. The historic Pelagian


Pelagianism is a heterodox Christian theological position which holds that the original sin did not taint human nature and that humans have the free will to achieve human perfection without divine grace.
Pelagianism is considered heresy because it departs from essential biblical truth in several of its teachings. Pelagianism asserts that Adam's sin affected him alone. ... Pelagianismcontends that humans are born neutral towards sin and that there is no such thing as an inherited sin nature.

Pelagius was a monk who lived in the late 300s and early 400s AD. His unbiblical doctrine of Pelagianism was condemned by several church councils, and he himself was excommunicated in 418. Pelagianism and the more moderate semi-Pelagianism are still making their rounds today as people, to varying degrees, attempt to take credit for their own salvation and thus mitigate the role of God’s grace.

To really understand "Pelagianism" and "Semi-Pelagianism" for it is more than looking up a word. viewing the arguments of such teaching and believeth. For the arguments are fully expose and public available knowledge concerning the Christian faith, Such is not for the weak of Heart, The Christian faith is a woven fabric of many kinds into our society of the term "Christianity"! For christianity is not found in the Bible, JESUS is. You can learn a lot about "Christianity" which is good, and you can learn a lot about Jesus, which is better. Especially if it is "Late in the Day" and the Sun is going down.

(Hebrews 10)BSB Jesus said:
…"In burnt offerings and sin offerings You took no delight. Then I said, ‘Here I am, it is written about me in the scroll: I have come to do Your will, O God.’” in the passage above He says, “Sacrifices and offerings, burnt offerings and sin offerings You did not desire, nor did You delight in them” (although they are offered according to the law)."…"

 

[PearlB]

Pelagianism is a heterodox Christian theological position which holds that the original sin did not taint human nature and that humans have the free will to achieve human perfection without divine grace.

I believe 'original sin' is the sin of trying to live without God. We turn to him through Jesus and then that 'original sin' which separates us from God is forgiven and we are then reconciled to him through a new spiritual birthing.

 

[Hekuran]

@KittyLinda good to see you back on the forums. You've got plenty of advice already, so I theres no need for me to add any more.

 

[KittyLinda]

I think you are right to seek the right way to tell him of your past. It would be unrighteous to carry on too far into a new relationship with so many secrets, it would not make for a stable and secure future. Right from when I first met my husband we have not kept secrets. He had been a bit of playboy but because I knew about his past I wasn't taken by surprise or shocked when an old flame turned up out of the blue with a grown up daughter who was my husbands child. Just imagine what that would have been like if had kept it from me. Don't keep secrets, don't tell lies - bring everything into the light. And may you find peace for your soul.

Well, I do not think I kept a secret. I told him about my BPD already. Women with this disorder do not often form long-term relationships, or have happy marriages. I've accepted my fate that I may have to live as a single parent, but I saw a dream before where God blessed me with a marriage, and more children, and I do not always trust my dreams, because they are usually all over the place, but this one seemed so real.

My past will send this Christian man down the rabbit hole in this relationship. Sometimes I think this might be unnecessary. I'm not that person; having a child was my wake-up call. I've changed, and there is no going back to the way I used to be anymore, but I plan to tell him anyway. I also do not want to bear more burdens if something went south later.

Bless you,

 

[KittyLinda]

I told him. He was shocked. My past did not cross his mind. I also had to explain to him why I waited until now to tell him all this. He did not judge me, but he is very concerned about me using psychedelics. He said we need to work on this but . . . .

I've been using SSRIs before, and they can work, but every time I notice my body is reacting differently, or sometimes they just make me feel suicidal. I am alive today because I failed to end my life. I managed to get legal ways to use psychedelics with the help of my doctor, and a lawyer. I explained to him how psychedelic clinics work, and how this is safe, and they minimize most of the risks, but he is not convinced.

I also feel he slightly shifted to debates about the LGBTq. Some brothers and sisters assume I have liberal ideas, but I really do not. I believe every word in the bible. I've researched and studied this a lot. I am sometimes tempted. My attraction towards women is much more than men, but I am not acting on it anymore, nor I wish to be in a gay relationship again, but I am neutral about this subject. I have gay friends, and they are very kind people. I want to be ethical and supporting for their rights. I also do not feel the bible addresses this subject. God clearly has embraced LGBTQ people. I heard all the arguments, but if we study the Greek, we find the word of God says absolutely nothing about being in a gay relationship.

We prayed, hugged, and asked God to give us guidance. He prayed for me and told me God has already forgiven me.

Now if you ask me how I feel after telling him this? My heart does not want to give up on him, but honestly the thought of all the troubles I might cause to a believer who has already experienced a divorce and a heartbreak are terrifying. I am not on the same spiritual level as he is, so in my mind he could easily find someone else who is more stable. Most people I met say kind things about me, until they see this destructive side, then they just tell me we are friends, but you need to stay over there! I do not expect him to hold too long after feeding him all this darkness from the past.

God bless,

 

[PloughBoy]

I believe 'original sin' is the sin of trying to live without God. We turn to him through Jesus and then that 'original sin' which separates us from God is forgiven and we are then reconciled to him through a new spiritual birthing.

It is not according to what you believe what "The Doctrine of "Original sin", is or coined, It is what it means. Just like an "automoblie" is a " automobile" no matter what you believe what a "automobile" is. It is car, not a" Bicycle" no matter how strong you may believe a "automobile" is a Bicycle. It is a Car.

It is like many "christians" do not understand what a "sinner' is, they do not know what "sin" is according to GOD's Word, they do not know what "committing sins" are, they do not understand what "presumptuous sins" are according to God's Word, They do not know or care what "iniquities" are according to "God's Word" either. And the Bible displays and addresses all of these entities pertaining to man's "transgressions" against their "Creator". But many are quick to say they know GOD, But GOD has said in the OT and NT, that:

New International Version(Isaiah 29)
"The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught."

(Matthew 15)NIV
"These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
their teachings are merely human rules.’ ” [Taught by the church] for we all know, that the government and Atheist don't have "bible classes" and teach Sunday school, or give instructions concerning "The Doctrines of GOD". They have their own agenda.

 

[Hekuran]

I told him. He was shocked. My past did not cross his mind. I also had to explain to him why I waited until now to tell him all this. He did not judge me, but he is very concerned about me using psychedelics. He said we need to work on this but . . . .

I've been using SSRIs before, and they can work, but every time I notice my body is reacting differently, or sometimes they just make me feel suicidal. I am alive today because I failed to end my life. I managed to get legal ways to use psychedelics with the help of my doctor, and a lawyer. I explained to him how psychedelic clinics work, and how this is safe, and they minimize most of the risks, but he is not convinced.

I also feel he slightly shifted to debates about the LGBTq. Some brothers and sisters assume I have liberal ideas, but I really do not. I believe every word in the bible. I've researched and studied this a lot. I am sometimes tempted. My attraction towards women is much more than men, but I am not acting on it anymore, nor I wish to be in a gay relationship again, but I am neutral about this subject. I have gay friends, and they are very kind people. I want to be ethical and supporting for their rights. I also do not feel the bible addresses this subject. God clearly has embraced LGBTQ people. I heard all the arguments, but if we study the Greek, we find the word of God says absolutely nothing about being in a gay relationship.

We prayed, hugged, and asked God to give us guidance. He prayed for me and told me God has already forgiven me.

Now if you ask me how I feel after telling him this? My heart does not want to give up on him, but honestly the thought of all the troubles I might cause to a believer who has already experienced a divorce and a heartbreak are terrifying. I am not on the same spiritual level as he is, so in my mind he could easily find someone else who is more stable. Most people I met say kind things about me, until they see this destructive side, then they just tell me we are friends, but you need to stay over there! I do not expect him to hold too long after feeding him all this darkness from the past.

God bless,

It sounds like you've gone about this in a wise and loving way. Most of all it's honest.

I'm sure it feels like you've put a relation ship in jeopardy by telling the truth directly - and maybe you have. But concealing the truth and trying to build a relationship on a foundation of secrets and hidden histories would certainly lead to a painful failure.

I pray that God continues to bless you.

 

[KittyLinda]

It is not according to what you believe what "The Doctrine of "Original sin", is or coined, It is what it means. Just like an "automoblie" is a " automobile" no matter what you believe what a "automobile" is. It is car, not a" Bicycle" no matter how strong you may believe a "automobile" is a Bicycle. It is a Car.

It is like many "christians" do not understand what a "sinner' is, they do not know what "sin" is according to GOD's Word, they do not know what "committing sins" are, they do not understand what "presumptuous sins" are according to God's Word, They do not know or care what "iniquities" are according to "God's Word" either. And the Bible displays and addresses all of these entities pertaining to man's "transgressions" against their "Creator". But many are quick to say they know GOD, But GOD has said in the OT and NT, that:

New International Version(Isaiah 29)
"The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught."

(Matthew 15)NIV
"These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
their teachings are merely human rules.’ ” [Taught by the church] for we all know, that the government and Atheist don't have "bible classes" and teach Sunday school, or give instructions concerning "The Doctrines of GOD". They have their own agenda.

1 John 1:8: If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
(King James Version)

Romans 3:10-12: 10 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: 11 There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. 12 They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.
(King James Version)

In the past, I tried to live a sinless life, and God rebuked me for it. I did not understand the good news. I thought I did, but that was not true. Goodness flows not from our deeds. It flows from God himself. The verses above show it.

Even when I disagreed with some Christian brothers and sisters on certain issues, I still listened to them in the end, because I believe God put them in my life for this reason. I do not always understand why. My pastor told me it is not ok biblically to live with a man I am not married to, so my previous relationship ended despite having a child. That did not make sense for a long time, but recently I understood. Also, those who God put in my life believe marriage to be between man and woman, so I also listened to them. There are many things I still do not understand actually. Like why God created me gay if I can't be in a gay relationship. Back then, when I married my girlfriend, I did not think I did the wrong thing. She was also a believer. Why my current bf thinks vaccines are fine, but natural healing psychedelics such as psilocybin are not ok?

I've always did things, because I have faith, not because I always understand. If there are many Christians around me saying one thing, but I think differently, then I choose to trust God on it.

There is no shame in not knowing, or not understanding. God asked us to submit to our Church leaders. They surely know better, and this is why God put them in that position. Sometimes I find it astonishing that people say they do not have a pastor, or that it is unnecessary to go to a church.

Hebrews 13:17
King James Version
17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

 

[KittyLinda]

It sounds like you've gone about this in a wise and loving way. Most of all it's honest.

I'm sure it feels like you've put a relation ship in jeopardy by telling the truth directly - and maybe you have. But concealing the truth and trying to build a relationship on a foundation of secrets and hidden histories would certainly lead to a painful failure.

I pray that God continues to bless you.

Thank you. I do not usually like to keep secrets or hide things. Sometimes I think hinting about something, or mentioning it briefly would be enough that I did my part. You know. It is also psychological. I really do not think he knew what kind of risks he is taking, until I told him my past. One thing that I know about myself is that my identity usually starts to shape and resemble those I'm dating. I've already learned a lot from him, and my faith is stronger than ever now. It seems all good for me, but to him sadly he is taking a serious risk, but I think he deserves to know what is it like to date a BPD, because it is really not easy. Before I told him about this past, I showed him 3 pictures of me, and he could not identify this person was me, until I told him I'm really sure you know this person, then it clicked in his mind lol. It also shows how far I was struggling with these identity issues. You know one day I could have pink hair the next week I would just dye it all black. So yeah I also often attract the wrong people.