Anxiety. Dating a believer.

[Sue D.]

I told him. He was shocked. My past did not cross his mind. I also had to explain to him why I waited until now to tell him all this. He did not judge me, but he is very concerned about me using psychedelics. He said we need to work on this but . . . .

I've been using SSRIs before, and they can work, but every time I notice my body is reacting differently, or sometimes they just make me feel suicidal. I am alive today because I failed to end my life. I managed to get legal ways to use psychedelics with the help of my doctor, and a lawyer. I explained to him how psychedelic clinics work, and how this is safe, and they minimize most of the risks, but he is not convinced.

I also feel he slightly shifted to debates about the LGBTq. Some brothers and sisters assume I have liberal ideas, but I really do not. I believe every word in the bible. I've researched and studied this a lot. I am sometimes tempted. My attraction towards women is much more than men, but I am not acting on it anymore, nor I wish to be in a gay relationship again, but I am neutral about this subject. I have gay friends, and they are very kind people. I want to be ethical and supporting for their rights. I also do not feel the bible addresses this subject. God clearly has embraced LGBTQ people. I heard all the arguments, but if we study the Greek, we find the word of God says absolutely nothing about being in a gay relationship.

We prayed, hugged, and asked God to give us guidance. He prayed for me and told me God has already forgiven me.

Now if you ask me how I feel after telling him this? My heart does not want to give up on him, but honestly the thought of all the troubles I might cause to a believer who has already experienced a divorce and a heartbreak are terrifying. I am not on the same spiritual level as he is, so in my mind he could easily find someone else who is more stable. Most people I met say kind things about me, until they see this destructive side, then they just tell me we are friends, but you need to stay over there! I do not expect him to hold too long after feeding him all this darkness from the past.

God bless,

Your comment about the LGBTQ community. God's Word Does address this subject. God Does love all of us. HOWEVER -- homosexuality -- men laying with other men and women doing that with other women is an abomination to God. It's putrid in His eyes. Both in Leviticus and Romans. God created men and women to be together and able to produce children. = family.

Homosexual = gay. There are those who embrace that life-style and those who know it's wrong, but struggle with those temptations. God is gracious / merciful / forgiving.

 

[KittyLinda]

Your comment about the LGBTQ community. God's Word Does address this subject. God Does love all of us. HOWEVER -- homosexuality -- men laying with other men and women doing that with other women is an abomination to God. It's putrid in His eyes. Both in Leviticus and Romans. God created men and women to be together and able to produce children. = family.

Homosexual = gay. There are those who embrace that life-style and those who know it's wrong, but struggle with those temptations. God is gracious / merciful / forgiving.

Hiii. How are you, Sue? <3

We talked a lot last year here, and outside of these forums, if you still remember me? I hope you, your family, and your church members are doing well.

You are looking at the sex part, and the context is not about gay marriages, or relationships. Gay people love, too. My girlfriend ended the marriage, because I wanted her to replace everyone in my life after being cut off from my own family. When she left, I had some of her clothes. I used to smell them everyday for months when I wake up in the morning, as if she died. All my troubles today goes back to losing her.

But I agree with most of what you said here. I know God desires for me to be with a man. My last two relationships were not homosexual. I've changed but that is also possible only because I can date men. Most gay people can't. Also, when I married my girlfriend, we did all the things we are expected to do as Christians. We read our bible, talked about God, dated for some years, and never had sex, or lived together, until we married. The bible also says eating shrimp is an abomination. I think it is the 'context' that we disagree on. My church does not approve of a gay lifestyle, but many churches of all denominations in NY support that. I'm sure you can find a gay Baptist church, too.

It is nothing more than any debate on these theological doctrines that you discuss here all the time. Some churches also believe women can't be pastors. My church started by a woman. We have women pastors here, and I heard other denominations criticize this Pentecostal church I am attending only because a woman started it. So what now? Women are not godly enough? I think Satan is trying to divide us based on sexuality, race, or color. There are churches here for only black people. I do not think that is biblical, and it is not even being challenged at all. People pick on gays often because they are an easy target. It is like when you see the media is picking on Christians, and not people of the other religions. It is because Christians are also an easy target. I believe God is love. Jesus died for all people including those gays. It is not for me to decide what is right or wrong.

Bless you,

 

[Sue D.]

@ KittyLinda -- yes, I remember you. And we did have some conversations both in Forum and in "Conversation" area.

There have been some 'ups and downs' since then.

Everyone loves in some form or another.

It's God that 'disagrees' with the homosexual life-style. God says it's wrong -- an abomination to Him -- putrid in His sight.

Accepting same-sex couples in church is not the same as condoning their behavior. We All need salvation.

God's Word gives churches guidelines as to who is to be a pastor / deacons. The husband of one wife is one of the 1st qualifications listed. That specifies a man.

Women Can and Do teach women's Bible studies -- but not from the church's pulpit. The Biblical / Godly guidelines are what we need to follow.

Black / Negros / people of color -- whatever the correct terminology is -- their worship is somewhat different from caucasion churches. Why Should it be challenged. Why should a person feel it necessary to have blacks and white's worship together. Worship where ever you feel comfortable. I've spent my entire life -- both growing up and most of my adult life with a caucasion population. That's just how it was up North. Down here in the south Texas area -- it's mostly white and Hispanic / Mexican people. And variations amongst them.

For decades / probably centuries -- the norm has heterosexual dating and couples marrying. And Biblically, it's Still that way. Maybe they make themselves an 'easy target'. Though I've never regarded same-sex couples as being targets. Maybe it's the way some of them dress or act in public.

And why would Christians be picked on by the media -- easy targets? Maybe it's because 'we' are not supposed to be acting like the 'world'. 'We' are supposed to be following Biblical standards/ ethics. We are supposed to be dressing modestly -- not telling the shady jokes and stories.

A born again believer is Supposed to be following Godliness -- holiness. We aren't supposed to be thumping people over their head with a Bible.

God's Word tells us what is right and wrong. THAT is what 'we' are supposed to be following. No one says it's Easy -- but it's doing the Right thing.

it's not a sin to be attracted to people of Either sex. It's how a person chooses to relate to the people who we Are attracted to. Love can be shown in Many positive ways. Sexual intimacy is only meant for man/ woman married couples. Every one else is to be refraining From sexual intimacy. People Need to go back To Biblical morality.

And, yes, John 3:16 "For God so loved the World that He gave His only begotten Son , that who so ever believeth in Him, will not perish but have ever lasting life."

Take time to look up 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 and Romans 10: 9-10. Belief in your heart and confession unto salvation. That Jesus Christ is the Son of God --He died on the cross, was buried and rose again bodily on the 3rd day.

 

[KittyLinda]

It's God that 'disagrees' with the homosexual life-style. God says it's wrong -- an abomination to Him -- putrid in His sight.

You did not give any context for what you refer to as a 'homosexual life-style.' The bible gave us a good idea about pagan practices. It does not say anything about gay marriages. There are Christian scholars who disagree with you. As I said I am neutral about it. This thing is very debatable. I just told my bf the same thing. What I know is that God desired for me to be married to a man, but having experienced these temptations, I can tell you that your approach to this subject can hurt people easily if you're throwing bible verses left and right. Jesus makes me not want to sin not what others tell me what to do.

Women Can and Do teach women's Bible studies -- but not from the church's pulpit.

Well that is obviously because you're a Baptist, and I am not. My church has an assistant-pastor who is a woman. Godly women in the bible took rules that are bigger than this.

We' are supposed to be following Biblical standards/ ethics.

There is nothing unethical about being gay, if you enjoy eating shrimp. God bless you.

 

[Sue D.]

Hi KittyLinda

The context is found in both Leviticus 18: 22 and Romans 1 -- but let's look at Leviticus 18:22 first "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination. That entire passage starts with vs 5 :You shall therefore keep My statutes and My judgements , which if a man does, he shall live by them. I am the Lord." and you could back up to vs 4 "You shall observe my judgements and keep My ordinances, to walk in them; I am the Lord your God."

Romans 1: 26 "For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. vs 27 "Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due."

Do you find Any examples , in Scripture regarding two men or two women being united in marriage? They are All men / women marriages.

And, yes, you probably can find Christian scholars who disagree with me -- they disagree with a lot of things in God's Word. It's God's Word they are disagreeing with. I'm just sharing what God's Word says about it.

You commented about experiencing 'these' temptations. IF a person chooses To get married -- it is to be with a person of the opposite sex. God's Word not mine. And you've shared that you know that God desires you to be married to a man -- well -- then follow that. Or you Could remain single.

I'm not throwing Bible verses left and right At anyone. But, when the subject Does come up -- there Is God's Word to read and follow.

God's Word is Not "Baptist" -- it IS , however, God's Word. Godly women Are doing Lots of things in this world. This is Not a 'man's' world. But, God Does give all of us -- no matter what church or religion a person is following -- guidelines to read and follow. 1 Timothy 1: 1-7 specifically for pastors and vs 8-13 for deacons and their wives. vs 2 "A bishop then must be blameless , the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded , of good behavior , hospitable , able to teach. etc.

The other passage is in Titus 1:5 - 9 vs 6 "if a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination. etc in following verses. So, again we read "the husband of one wife" a man.

I was waiting to see if you'd bring up the subject of eating shrimp. I just Googled that subject. You can too. There are two uses of the word 'abomination' -- one refers to clean and unclean animals and one refers to actions that people do. Homosexuality involves people using their bodies in ways that God never intended. And those ways can / are harming our bodies. Especially with men and the use of those parts of their bodies. Women's bodies are made differently For A Reason. And women 'being together' is Also different. But it's just as wrong as men being together.

And, also, take a moment to look up the difference between ethics and morality. I just did. It's very interesting.

God bless you, also.

 

[Andyindauk]

Hi Kitty,

I'm wondering if maybe Sue and you might be approaching your faiths from a wrong perspective. The first five books of the Old Testament are God's law, it's a list of what you must and must not do. It's principal purpose is to tell us how to get to Heaven, all you need to do is follow it rigidly from conception to death, not bending, not breaking the rules, even once. Simple, but totally impossible.

Having shown us how far we are from God, He sent His son to draw us to Him, show us by example and teaching us how to live a life that's 100% perfect, then to die in our stead and take the punishment of our wrongdoings, finally He gave death a good kicking by rising from the dead and later going up to Heaven. So does that mean now that the rule book has been thrown out? Absolutely not. It's just changed its nature, now we read the law as an insight into how we live a life that pleases and delights our wonderful amazing God who willingly sacrificed His son to rescue us from an unthinkable and inevitable end. Why do we want to please and delight our God? Because we love Him and His pleasure is our delight.

So now we're freed from the mundane laws like not eating seafood and going to Jerusalem to sacrifice animals, instead we have a direct, intimate and one to one relationship with God our father. So now, God will never withdraw your ticket into Heaven because of bad behaviour but if your life and faith is constantly compromised don't expect a wonderful, fulfilled and Spirit led relationship with God but do expect a substantially reduced reward when you face that judgement day and you have to give an account. He hates disobedience and your life is likely to take a turn for the worse, the prophet Jonah refers. Apostle Peter puts it better -
as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.” I Peter 1:14‭-‬16 NKJV

With regards to sins of the flesh, be careful not to get to get drawn into 'the culture'. Gay friends that believe, please keep at arms length in case you become desensitised and drawn back into where you've come from. Again there are plenty of New Testament verses that warn about 'tolerance'.

BTW any update from the bf? Is his love for you unconditional or do you need to sit some sort of a test of holiness to qualify?

 

[KittyLinda]

Hi KittyLinda

The context is found in both Leviticus 18: 22 and Romans 1 -- but let's look at Leviticus 18:22 first "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination. That entire passage starts with vs 5 :You shall therefore keep My statutes and My judgements , which if a man does, he shall live by them. I am the Lord." and you could back up to vs 4 "You shall observe my judgements and keep My ordinances, to walk in them; I am the Lord your God."

Romans 1: 26 "For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. vs 27 "Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due."

Do you find Any examples , in Scripture regarding two men or two women being united in marriage? They are All men / women marriages.

And, yes, you probably can find Christian scholars who disagree with me -- they disagree with a lot of things in God's Word. It's God's Word they are disagreeing with. I'm just sharing what God's Word says about it.

You commented about experiencing 'these' temptations. IF a person chooses To get married -- it is to be with a person of the opposite sex. God's Word not mine. And you've shared that you know that God desires you to be married to a man -- well -- then follow that. Or you Could remain single.

I'm not throwing Bible verses left and right At anyone. But, when the subject Does come up -- there Is God's Word to read and follow.

God's Word is Not "Baptist" -- it IS , however, God's Word. Godly women Are doing Lots of things in this world. This is Not a 'man's' world. But, God Does give all of us -- no matter what church or religion a person is following -- guidelines to read and follow. 1 Timothy 1: 1-7 specifically for pastors and vs 8-13 for deacons and their wives. vs 2 "A bishop then must be blameless , the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded , of good behavior , hospitable , able to teach. etc.

The other passage is in Titus 1:5 - 9 vs 6 "if a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination. etc in following verses. So, again we read "the husband of one wife" a man.

I was waiting to see if you'd bring up the subject of eating shrimp. I just Googled that subject. You can too. There are two uses of the word 'abomination' -- one refers to clean and unclean animals and one refers to actions that people do. Homosexuality involves people using their bodies in ways that God never intended. And those ways can / are harming our bodies. Especially with men and the use of those parts of their bodies. Women's bodies are made differently For A Reason. And women 'being together' is Also different. But it's just as wrong as men being together.

And, also, take a moment to look up the difference between ethics and morality. I just did. It's very interesting.

God bless you, also.

Hello Sue,

I thought I made it clear when I joked about eating shrimp. Those laws were intended only for Israel, not necessary all of them. The point is that we are not bound by the Law. Rom1: 26 says "exchanged the natural use for what is against nature." This does not apply to gay relationships, or gay people. This verse is about 'straight' people doing pagan things. We know about these rituals today. We have ancient tablets and history that prove this. Gay people are born gay, because that is their nature. They did not choose to be gay, just like you did not choose to be female. In fact, if a gay person tried to have a 'straight' Intimate relationship, that would be a sin. I'm attracted to men and women, but my attraction towards the same-sex is a lot more. I do not have definite answers about why I am born like this either, but I surely do not want others to tell me what I am, or what to do about it. I get a lot of BS sometimes like people think they know me more than I know myself. God has already spoke to me about this, and I listen to him.

Do you find Any examples , in Scripture regarding two men or two women being united in marriage? They are All men / women marriages.

I have already said the bible says nothing about it.

You commented about experiencing 'these' temptations. IF a person chooses To get married -- it is to be with a person of the opposite sex. God's Word not mine. And you've shared that you know that God desires you to be married to a man -- well -- then follow that. Or you Could remain single.

I do not remember I remained celibate in any relationship I had with a woman, and yes that was willfully sinning. I was not a born again Christian back then, but I am now and I still can tell you that I did not sin by marrying that woman. Also, this is opening an old wound that really did not heal completely. I am not really going to tolerate a lot of things you think you can just tell me, so please do not, and leave it to God. I also was so young, and did not know any better. I explained how I married that person. We did it God's way. It was a very brief marriage that even some of my friends laughed at me when it ended that quickly, but it changed me. I lost my light, and became a destructive hateful person. I was not the same person anymore. My ex realized the marriage caused enmity between me and my parents, and she did not want to be the reason. She left and with her leaving, I backslid and chose a dark path, but I've returned to God's way last year and now I am serious about my faith more than ever. Follow what ? Didn't you read the OP and the other comments?

Homosexuality involves people using their bodies in ways that God never intended.

You may have a valid point, but I also have valid answers, but that is not important. You are not going to change my views, and I am not going to change yours. I'm not going to support any side. I only know what God desires for me, and I told you. So yeah I do not know if God never intended this for others. I just know what God intended for me. I'm not going to turn against the gay community who have supported me as much as my Christian community.

God bless,

 

[KittyLinda]

Hi Kitty,

I'm wondering if maybe Sue and you might be approaching your faiths from a wrong perspective. The first five books of the Old Testament are God's law, it's a list of what you must and must not do. It's principal purpose is to tell us how to get to Heaven, all you need to do is follow it rigidly from conception to death, not bending, not breaking the rules, even once. Simple, but totally impossible.

Having shown us how far we are from God, He sent His son to draw us to Him, show us by example and teaching us how to live a life that's 100% perfect, then to die in our stead and take the punishment of our wrongdoings, finally He gave death a good kicking by rising from the dead and later going up to Heaven. So does that mean now that the rule book has been thrown out? Absolutely not. It's just changed its nature, now we read the law as an insight into how we live a life that pleases and delights our wonderful amazing God who willingly sacrificed His son to rescue us from an unthinkable and inevitable end. Why do we want to please and delight our God? Because we love Him and His pleasure is our delight.

So now we're freed from the mundane laws like not eating seafood and going to Jerusalem to sacrifice animals, instead we have a direct, intimate and one to one relationship with God our father. So now, God will never withdraw your ticket into Heaven because of bad behaviour but if your life and faith is constantly compromised don't expect a wonderful, fulfilled and Spirit led relationship with God but do expect a substantially reduced reward when you face that judgement day and you have to give an account. He hates disobedience and your life is likely to take a turn for the worse, the prophet Jonah refers. Apostle Peter puts it better -
as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.” I Peter 1:14‭-‬16 NKJV

With regards to sins of the flesh, be careful not to get to get drawn into 'the culture'. Gay friends that believe, please keep at arms length in case you become desensitised and drawn back into where you've come from. Again there are plenty of New Testament verses that warn about 'tolerance'.

BTW any update from the bf? Is his love for you unconditional or do you need to sit some sort of a test of holiness to qualify?

I agree with you, but when people use the OT to prove something, and they think it applies, because God said it, it really does not apply anymore. Otherwise what follows is 'accepting' we put people to death, and so on, and it gets uglier and uglier than being gay or acting on it. Trust me on that.

With regards to sins of the flesh, be careful not to get to get drawn into 'the culture'. Gay friends that believe, please keep at arms length in case you become desensitised and drawn back into where you've come from. Again there are plenty of New Testament verses that warn about 'tolerance'.

I am not sure what are you trying to say. I have some gay friends, and I do not believe it to be a 'culture.' I do not want to be that person who forces biblical ideas/principles on others. God has spoken to me how to deal with temptations. I will feel tempted sometimes, but I'll guard my heart. As far as I know, none of them claim to be a Christian. I think one of my gay friends is a Catholic. I do not know about the others and what they believe, but she did not seem someone who actually practices the Catholic religion to begin with. I also have straight friends who I know are not Christians and I follow the same rules. I do not like it when people speak negatively about the Christian faith so why should I even give them a reason to do so?

BTW any update from the bf? Is his love for you unconditional or do you need to sit some sort of a test of holiness to qualify?

I know that he is a sanctified born again believer, and I hear good things about him. He is very truthful and kind. We talked about applying godly/biblical guidelines. He is very sweet, so I do not think he will change the way he sees me when I have these bad moments, because it will happen one day. I have a disorder that makes it difficult for me to have healthy relationships, but that just means it is a lot of hard work, and he knows. I know from his past that he is a very patient person, because he tried to do everything to save his marriage.

 

[Sue D.]

@ KittyLinda

Re: eating shrimp -- lots of people use that as an excuse -- People eat shrimp which Bible says is an abomination so why can't people do same-sex relationships ? ! Didn't realize you were joking.

We're All born Single -- we Are told -- God's Word to refrain from any sexual physical intimacy until we are married. And since marriage is between one man and one woman -- that negates any sexual intimacy between Anyone and anyone Else -- out side of the marriage relationship.

"If a gay person tried to have a 'straight' intimate relationship it would be a sin'? That's an interesting perspective. In other wards that 'gay' person would not be living 'true' to her natural self?

God doesn't create people 'gay'. Now Maybe a person -- as they grow up -- feels like they are a female in a male body or visa versa. It's gender identity. Not the same as being heterosexual or homosexual.

The point IS that God's Word gives us guidelines for living. He created male and female to be able to have family and the next generation. He did Not create people with both sets of genitalia so they could mate with either sex with no problems.

Well -- you've come back to Forum and wondered if I remembered you. So, I'm not the one bringing this up to open any wounds. God would not be telling you it's okay to do something that is an abomination to Him. That is putrid to Him.
He Did allow you to do that and as you've commented - it didn't last long -- the other gal ended it.

The title of this thread is "Anxiety -- Dating a Believer"

How much a person should sharing with another believer when you're dating. It all depends on your age and situation. The longer people know each other the more they are probably going to share. Vulnerability.

I'm remembering that we shared somewhat in 'Conversation" area of the Forum.

We can go back to that area if you want to.

It's God's Word we need to listen to.

Sharing with other believers Does help put things into perspective.

 

[KittyLinda]

Well -- you've come back to Forum and wondered if I remembered you. So, I'm not the one bringing this up to open any wounds. God would not be telling you it's okay to do something that is an abomination to Him. That is putrid to Him.
He Did allow you to do that and as you've commented - it didn't last long -- the other gal ended it.

I am a bit depressed now. So really I do not want this discussion here anymore. Otherwise, I'll have to ask a moderator to come, and fix it for you.

These are your words:

You commented about experiencing 'these' temptations. IF a person chooses To get married -- it is to be with a person of the opposite sex. God's Word not mine. And you've shared that you know that God desires you to be married to a man -- well -- then follow that. Or you Could remain single.

I'm surprised that you ignored everything in the opening, but instead you said all the above. I did ask you if you read the OP, because I am dating a Christian MAN, not a woman. In other words, all these side-discussions about being gay, or what you think the bible says about gays is really pointless now. I can't go to the past, and change it, so why do I feel I am being judged or challenged now? Enough is enough.

 

[Sue D.]

@KittyLinda -- just a couple of Passages Psalm 37:3, 4, 5, 7

vs 3 "Trust in the Lord, ........."

vs 4 "Delight yourself also in the Lord,......"

vs 5 "Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him...."

vs 7 "Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him."

I turn to this frequently.

And Philippians 3: 8 -9 "Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, are pure, are lovely, of good report , if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy -- meditate on these things, and the things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you."

vs 13 "I can do all thing through Christ who strengthens me."

vs 19 "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. "

I wrestle with a lot of things.

God's Word is never pointless -- it never changes -- it's usually our attitudes that need adjusting.

And, yes, I Did read all of your comments -- that you are now with a Christian Man. And want to be honest with him. And he's being accepting and supporting of you.

And, again, it's not what I think the Bible is saying about homosexual activity -- it is what God's Word Does say.

 

[KittyLinda]

And, yes, I Did read all of your comments -- that you are now with a Christian Man. And want to be honest with him. And he's being accepting and supporting of you.

Glad you read my original post. I was not sure you read it, because you keep repeating yourself over and over again. I want to keep it about the original post, especially that you know that I am not in a gay relationship.

And, again, it's not what I think the Bible is saying about homosexual activity -- it is what God's Word Does say.

God's word says absolutely nothing about gay marriages. You do not decide for me, or anyone else what God's word does say, or not say.

God's Word is never pointless -- it never changes -- it's usually our attitudes that need adjusting.

I do not see you mention anything about the homophobic hate crimes that happen on a regular basis around the world. I do not see you write a single sentence about the killing/murder of gays here and there. Nobody said God's word is pointless. I said this discussion is pointless, because there is nobody here who is saying homosexuality is ok. I said I am neutral about this topic, and I am not going to have a negative attitude against my kind; I will not be intimidated, if that is what you're thinking. It is one of the reasons why I keep living, because I want to support those who struggle with this and also tell them how God loves them. God has already loved and accepted them the way they are.

 

[Avicoon]

Hi Kitty,

I'm wondering if maybe Sue and you might be approaching your faiths from a wrong perspective. The first five books of the Old Testament are God's law, it's a list of what you must and must not do. It's principal purpose is to tell us how to get to Heaven, all you need to do is follow it rigidly from conception to death, not bending, not breaking the rules, even once. Simple, but totally impossible.

Having shown us how far we are from God, He sent His son to draw us to Him, show us by example and teaching us how to live a life that's 100% perfect, then to die in our stead and take the punishment of our wrongdoings, finally He gave death a good kicking by rising from the dead and later going up to Heaven. So does that mean now that the rule book has been thrown out? Absolutely not. It's just changed its nature, now we read the law as an insight into how we live a life that pleases and delights our wonderful amazing God who willingly sacrificed His son to rescue us from an unthinkable and inevitable end. Why do we want to please and delight our God? Because we love Him and His pleasure is our delight.

So now we're freed from the mundane laws like not eating seafood and going to Jerusalem to sacrifice animals, instead we have a direct, intimate and one to one relationship with God our father. So now, God will never withdraw your ticket into Heaven because of bad behaviour but if your life and faith is constantly compromised don't expect a wonderful, fulfilled and Spirit led relationship with God but do expect a substantially reduced reward when you face that judgement day and you have to give an account. He hates disobedience and your life is likely to take a turn for the worse, the prophet Jonah refers. Apostle Peter puts it better -
as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.” I Peter 1:14‭-‬16 NKJV

With regards to sins of the flesh, be careful not to get to get drawn into 'the culture'. Gay friends that believe, please keep at arms length in case you become desensitised and drawn back into where you've come from. Again there are plenty of New Testament verses that warn about 'tolerance'.

BTW any update from the bf? Is his love for you unconditional or do you need to sit some sort of a test of holiness to qualify?

Hello Andydauk,
Your comment is very beautiful, however, can you be more detailed on this statement "So now, God will never withdraw your ticket into Heaven because of bad behaviour". What do you consider as bad behaviour?

 

[Andyindauk]

Hello Andydauk,
Your comment is very beautiful, however, can you be more detailed on this statement "So now, God will never withdraw your ticket into Heaven because of bad behaviour". What do you consider as bad behaviour?

Sin. Jesus's death covered all our sins, past, present and future. It was everything.

 

[brighthouse98]

Sister KittyLinda Speaking as your older brother in the Lord,I would say this to you about dating. I am not a trusting soul in the first place with other people.( Psalms 118:9) TEST!!!! Make sure in your heart, that you can release personal matters. If for any reason you are not sure,then do not do it!! A Man should be walking in the truth!! Not just speaking a truth to you! A Man of God should know the Bible well! If you are stronger in the Lord then he is,bug out!! For the Man of God should be able to lead!!! Security for most women is vital to there well being.

2. Notice I said lead,not control!! A woman needs to want to follow there man! If at any point your freedom is called into question because you want to please him,you yourself are going to be in trouble! YOUR WILL should never be controled by another!! I always want my sisters in Christ protected! I wish only the very best for you sis!! He needs to be a strong Man,if he has doubts, you will have them!

And you will lose in the end,because most woman think they can change there man. LOL All you will get by doing this is led a stray! And do not let any man look to change you either! ( 1 Cor 15:10) Now if this is settled with you both,then you will both go on to lead a very healthy life! My best to you sis!!

 

[Avicoon]

Sin. Jesus's death covered all our sins, past, present and future. It was everything.

Andyindauk, you are not very correct as regards present and future sin. Read Romans 6:1-2
Once you give your life to Christ ' being a born again Christian' your past sins are forgiven, hence you're expected to live a holy life without sin by not 'going back to your vomit. The idea of continuing in sin 'future sin' after you have given your life to God is not biblical.

 

[Andyindauk]

Andyindauk, you are not very correct as regards present and future sin. Read Romans 6:1-2
Once you give your life to Christ ' being a born again Christian' your past sins are forgiven, hence you're expected to live a holy life without sin by not 'going back to your vomit. The idea of continuing in sin 'future sin' after you have given your life to God is not biblical.

Hi Avicoon,

I'm not sure mate if you fully grasp what sin actually is. One of the best definitions I heard is: 'anything short of God is sin'. Maybe then you don't understand just how holy, wonderful, completely pure and incredibly lovely our God is. Well pal, I'll forgive you for that because I don't think any of us do; I honestly believe we don't have the foggiest idea of what true, pure, undulterated holiness is really like. When we go to meet our Saviour we're going to be changed to be like Him, completely, totally pure and radiantly holy 1 John 3:2. This is not going to be like a makeover, it'll be transformational.

Can we even hope to emulate that? My favourite of all Jesus's parables are the ones about God's forgiveness, parables like the prodigal son Luke 15:11-32 and the lost sheep Luke 15:3-7. These tell of God whose love is as endless as His forgiveness.

So, what Paul is saying in these chapters in Romans is there's no rules, regulations or laws. By definition, these have penalties for breaking them and jesus has paid that penalty. Read the previous chapter -
For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.
Romans 5:6‭-‬11 NKJV

 

[Andyindauk]

oops I pressed Post reply before I'd finished Here's part 2 of what I was saying -

The key words in this passage are saved, reconciled and through; there's nothing in there about requiring a sin free life after salvation, assuming that that were even possible. By way of a tangent, can I suggest a good study in the Bible would be the contrast of the two extremes: sin and holiness? It'll give you an appreciation of just how far you were from God, what an amazing salvation we have and just a taste of what we have to look forward to. Anyway, back to topic. Is Paul saying we have a green light to sin?
What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin. Romans 6:1‭-‬7 NIV

If you say then that there are rules and regulations and by breaking them we lose our salvation, then when Satan tempts us and we succumb, he has gained a victory over Jesus, in us. That doesn't compute and contradicts what Jesus said; John 10:28.

Anyway, two reasons to avoid the green light philosophy -
1. Just like the prodigal son, sin promises fun but delivers a horrid dreadful feeling inside, I've grieved and upset my precious, wonderful father who I love. Don't do it.
2. One day, you'll be judged and judged about your deeds and your misdeeds and then you'll be rewarded. Don't do it.

So through the teaching and example of Jesus we have a clearer picture of what sin is and what holiness is. We need to regularly confess and seek forgiveness and we need to implore our father God to allow Him to change us to be more holy like Him, through the working and influence of the Holy Spirit; it's a process, not an event.

Hope that gives you some food for thought. May God bless you in your walk with Him.

 

[KittyLinda]

Sister KittyLinda Speaking as your older brother in the Lord,I would say this to you about dating. I am not a trusting soul in the first place with other people.( Psalms 118:9) TEST!!!! Make sure in your heart, that you can release personal matters. If for any reason you are not sure,then do not do it!! A Man should be walking in the truth!! Not just speaking a truth to you! A Man of God should know the Bible well! If you are stronger in the Lord then he is,bug out!! For the Man of God should be able to lead!!! Security for most women is vital to there well being.

2. Notice I said lead,not control!! A woman needs to want to follow there man! If at any point your freedom is called into question because you want to please him,you yourself are going to be in trouble! YOUR WILL should never be controled by another!! I always want my sisters in Christ protected! I wish only the very best for you sis!! He needs to be a strong Man,if he has doubts, you will have them!

And you will lose in the end,because most woman think they can change there man. LOL All you will get by doing this is led a stray! And do not let any man look to change you either! ( 1 Cor 15:10) Now if this is settled with you both,then you will both go on to lead a very healthy life! My best to you sis!!

I'd like to share some concerns.

I know some Spirit-filled women in my church who are more involved in the church than their partners, and they seem to have a much stronger faith, and that is not a problem for women to have a closer relationship with God than their spouses.

He is more spiritually evolved than me. I was not going to date someone, unless they love Jesus more than me. My faith is growing everyday. I feel closer to God after we've met. I read my bible daily, listen to some Christian music, and I love attending at my church as much as possible, and I enjoy my bible studies, but there is a spiritual gap in this relationship. I do not know. . . . I do not consider myself worldly, but every now and then, I like to hang out with my friends, go out, watch a movie, and maybe have a drink, and release some stress. He met some of my friends, but I do not feel like he liked them, but he knows that I value my friends. I feel this created a bit of tension between us. I do not approve of what they do, or say, but they are still my friends. Their behavior will change as they get to know him more, and considering how busy I am now, and how rare for me to spend time with others, I do not think it will be a problem, but I admit that I still have some growth to do myself.

I agree that men should be the ones to lead, and I honestly find it easier to listen to men in relationships than women. We discussed our priorities, and we need to work together, but I do not agree with that part about 'testing' him. He did not give me any reason to consider testing him, and if he did the same, then I am not sure how I will feel either, if he has doubts. We are still learning more about each other, so really this is not the right time yet.

This man opened himself up to the possibility of the unknown in this relationship after knowing my past, and I am not going to give him more stress or discomfort, but my biggest fear right now is that I nearly made a promise about not using psychedelics, and I regret it now. I feel sad that I told him I want to stop them. It is actually impossible to do that, which is why I was given a legal permission that took so much effort, money, and time. If it were so easy to stop, I could have avoided prison time twice, even though I never harmed anyone by using psychedelics. What makes this painful and difficult to accept is how they are forcing vaccines day after day and not a lot of people even know what is in these mRNA vaccines, and many Christians also think it is ok, but classic psychedelics found in nature are not ok?! It is so depressing, but Satan surely inverted this, and it is so upside-down to the point that I can't sleep sometimes. It scares me how people risk their lives by taking these poisonous vaccines, and at the same time they think they can tell me not to use psilocybin therapy. I almost wanted to be an activist these days because how governments and corporations can deceive even good people.

God bless,

 

[brighthouse98]

Well KittyLinda I am no doctor! But if taking something reduces depression,or some other kind of pain,who am I to say to stop? When someone has a headache and they take asprin is that wrong to? I hate pain myself! There is only going to be ONE person to judge me! And it sure is not any on this earth.What I mean by testing is not to on purpose upset him to see how he will react,I mean he should have your best welfare in mind as he does himself.

Everyone of us has some weakness,no one God ever picked to represent him was any where near perfect!! Moses,David, and Paul who wrote 3 quarters of the Bible all had weakness,all of them murdered someone!! SO FEAR NOT!!!!! You are who you are by the grace of God just like all of us are! I do not wish though to have an altered state of mindset though,I make enough errors with a clear mindset!! LOL

But you know you, far better then anyone else knows you,and if you are making a mistake Jesus will help you through it even as he does me! Blessing to you! The great commision is given to all of us who love Jesus and wish to always be and stay in his will!!( Matt 28:20) ALWAYS!!! Means just that to me!!