Have I commited something unpardonable?
I am new on this site and I just want to say thanks for having me here. Im fifteen years old and im afraid I've blasphemed the Holy Spirit. I can't even get on with life, my legs are weak, and I cry 24/7 because I didn't know that such thing against God can be unforgivable. I was mad at my mother and I closed myself in my room, crying because I was too young to understand my love for God. Then I told God "forget him" then It came back to haunt me. After I felt like God was still with me because I didn't know about it. Strange things started happening once I tried giving my life to God. Blasphemous thoughts came up and they got so terrible that they began to utter out my mouth because I was trying so hard to stop it then I'd end up saying the blasphemous thoughts instead of whats really in my heart. I tried thinking about God's work one night in my room as I was listening to christian music then in my mind something came up saying "satan, satan"...it happened twice (and it felt like my heart stopped). I was horrified. This is only some of it but I know in my heart that I love God, I just desire to be close to him and when I finally got that chance....everything's been trying to stop me. I don't wanna live a life of doubt. Can anyone tell me if I commited something unpardonable?
I am new on this site and I just want to say thanks for having me here. Im fifteen years old and im afraid I've blasphemed the Holy Spirit. I can't even get on with life, my legs are weak, and I cry 24/7 because I didn't know that such thing against God can be unforgivable. I was mad at my mother and I closed myself in my room, crying because I was too young to understand my love for God. Then I told God "forget him" then It came back to haunt me. After I felt like God was still with me because I didn't know about it. Strange things started happening once I tried giving my life to God. Blasphemous thoughts came up and they got so terrible that they began to utter out my mouth because I was trying so hard to stop it then I'd end up saying the blasphemous thoughts instead of whats really in my heart. I tried thinking about God's work one night in my room as I was listening to christian music then in my mind something came up saying "satan, satan"...it happened twice (and it felt like my heart stopped). I was horrified. This is only some of it but I know in my heart that I love God, I just desire to be close to him and when I finally got that chance....everything's been trying to stop me. I don't wanna live a life of doubt. Can anyone tell me if I commited something unpardonable?