Finally Realize What My Problem Is - Don't See A Better Place To Post This

[Arabhorselover]

Challenging, yes. Hopeless, no. When I say that my God can do anything, his only limitations are his own nature and my willingness to play. My God also means our God. Trust me, He has been far better to me than I have been to Him.

The situation with you husband in some ways reminds me of the relationship between my wife and I. She used to do tole painting and I would cut out figurines for her to paint. Her eyesight has worsened and now deals with dialysis, but we still collaborate on projects. My wife is from Montreal and hates bugs, especially spiders. I'm originally from Saskatchewan and being eaten alive by mosquitos was the norm. Playing King of the Hill on a manure pile was not out of the question. I was walking into the back yard last Wednesday afternoon and a spider had built a web across the walkway. I have a rule with spiders and that's if it builds a web where I have to walk, I'll break the web in the hope the spider will relocate. Later on at twilight and having forgotten about my arachnid friend, I was walking into the back yard not looking for a spider's web. I could hear strands snapping and felt webbing on my hand. Great! Where's my little buddy? I look down and he's swinging on a thread and begins working his way up. Sorry little buddy, but you're out of here. With that, I swung my arm downwards and it hit the ground. Pausing a second, it began walking toward the same plant it had anchored part of its web to. I haven't seen it since.

My shed is a small wood shop and besides tole painting projects for my wife, I've made step stools, a light house for a nurse, a cabinet for an old table saw which belonged to my wife's late brother-in-law, a wishing well, a table for toddlers, and I'm currently working on a cradle for our daughter-in-law. My other joy is spending time doing CAD drawings and transposing sheet music to song. Believe me, I can spend a lot of time by myself. My wife does home dialysis five times a day and plays Pogo. I prefer to watch documentaries while she watches Family Feud, Criminal Minds, and a few other TV shows which I don't have the patience for.

Camping. If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. Seriously. Even as a Cub and even a Scout many moons ago, life was never a dull moment and I didn't have to try to get into trouble; it came looking for me. The only time my wife and I have gone camping was a number of years ago. We got a tent and rented a camping spot. The next morning, the heavens opened a bit. We awoke to a minor flood in the tent. Minor set back, but not the end of the world. We got a fire going for breakfast. The fire pit was located underneath a tree. While we were frying bacon, water would periodically would drop down from a tree. At one point, enough water fell to disperse the bacon fat and we had a fire inside the pan as well as below it. It just so happened I knew of a restaurant run by a lady I had previously played darts with. So, the morning wasn't a total loss as my wife met the owner and a former team member. We had a great time.

Stress can be brought on by a number of things. It gets passed on so others also get stressed. One good thing although I appreciate your husband's desire to avoid interaction at Church, is that he does support your going to Church. I believe he enjoys your company and likes spending time with you despite your differences. Unfortunately, he has so little time to do so. I also feel that he would rather be busy. We can't have it both ways.

Some people are disciplinarians while others are not. To some extent, it depends on our nature and how we were brought up. They say opposites attract. If you think about it, a marriage (relationships in general) are about bringing two people together with different backgrounds and creating a third background for their descendants to grow up with.

Your case is not hopeless. Fixing the problems may not happen overnight, but with prayer and diligence, changes can happen bringing you, your husband, and your children into a happier relationship within yourselves and with Jesus. Nothing is impossible if you believe it can be done through God. Don't give up. It may mean making some changes and even compromises, but keep the faith.

Cheers,
John

So sorry that I never got back to you after you wrote this. I truly appreciate you sharing from your own life and trying to help me. For the past three months I have been dealing with the effects of going off of a drug that I was taking. It has been a difficult time of depression, anxiety, etc. I was hoping to be able to stay off medication at this point in my life, but it seems I have to accept the fact that it is not possible, at least for now. I have just started taking a drug that helped me in the past, and am so hoping it will help me again. I am also seeing a counselor to work on the underlying issues that have caused my depression and anxiety.

 

[Shutterbug]

So sorry that I never got back to you after you wrote this. I truly appreciate you sharing from your own life and trying to help me. For the past three months I have been dealing with the effects of going off of a drug that I was taking. It has been a difficult time of depression, anxiety, etc. I was hoping to be able to stay off medication at this point in my life, but it seems I have to accept the fact that it is not possible, at least for now. I have just started taking a drug that helped me in the past, and am so hoping it will help me again. I am also seeing a counselor to work on the underlying issues that have caused my depression and anxiety.

Good morning AHL;
I'm so sorry to hear that you haven't been doing well. Depression literally sucks the life out of our soul. I have my moments with it, too. My sister-in-law was prescribed some medicine years ago to deal with an anxiety issue and it only worsened to the point my brother seriously entertained committing her. Her medication was changed and she vastly improved to the point where they have resumed doing activities they previously enjoyed.

The only issue which comes to mind which God has promised his children is that of joy. Regardless of our circumstances, he has promised an abundance of joy because He loves us. We know despite the shortcomings in this life, they end for the better in the next. That's a promise we can be assured of and with the evidence to support it in this life.

 

[Arabhorselover]

As a Christian I have struggled so much with whether or not it is okay to take medication for these types of things. I think there are a lot of people who are taking medications that they don't really need, but in my case I am coming to the point of accepting that I really do have a chemical imbalance, probably inherited, that will not go away on it's own. I hoped all of my life for God to heal me, and I have always blamed myself for the way I felt. For reasons only He knows, he has chosen not to perform a miracle here, and I am so thankful that these medications do exist. Perhaps they are the miracle.

 

[Ophel]

As a Christian I have struggled so much with whether or not it is okay to take medication for these types of things. I think there are a lot of people who are taking medications that they don't really need, but in my case I am coming to the point of accepting that I really do have a chemical imbalance, probably inherited, that will not go away on it's own. I hoped all of my life for God to heal me, and I have always blamed myself for the way I felt. For reasons only He knows, he has chosen not to perform a miracle here, and I am so thankful that these medications do exist. Perhaps they are the miracle.

Please think about amending the way you speak about this. Instead of saying, "He has chosen not to perform a miracle here," and think about speaking with faith, knowing that God is no respecter of persons and is our Jehovah Rapha, The Lord Who Heals, and say instead, "He has chosen not to perform a miracle here---yet."

Our words have power, and can destroy faith by doubt and silence, as well as increase it by speaking words of faith and belief.

Matthew 21:21
Then Jesus told them, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and don’t doubt, you can do things like this and much more. You can even say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen.


.

 

[Arabhorselover]

Please think about amending the way you speak about this. Instead of saying, "He has chosen not to perform a miracle here," and think about speaking with faith, knowing that God is no respecter of persons and is our Jehovah Rapha, The Lord Who Heals, and say instead, "He has chosen not to perform a miracle here---yet."

Our words have power, and can destroy faith by doubt and silence, as well as increase it by speaking words of faith and belief.

Matthew 21:21
Then Jesus told them, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and don’t doubt, you can do things like this and much more. You can even say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen.


.

As someone who has suffered a lot in my life due to negative thinking, I know you are right. I guess I just always figured that if God wanted to heal my depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem he would have done it by now - I'm 55.

 

[Ophel]

As someone who has suffered a lot in my life due to negative thinking, I know you are right. I guess I just always figured that if God wanted to heal my depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem he would have done it by now - I'm 55.

We tie God's hands by our doubt and unbelief. He loves to heal us! Jesus died to free us of our diseases as well as our sins. I have suffered greatly with depression, and especially over the last 10 years. I came to the end of myself at one point and decided to trust God to take care of the issues that were burdening me. He took that yoke and I walked right out of the depression that put me in my bed and had me balloon up in weight to the point where I could no longer walk freely, and became housebound.

God moved me by telling me that during those pitiful years of grief and sorrow, my faith still pleased Him. What a monumental encouragement that was! I have since lost 163 lbs and am gaining my life back, that which the devil (that thief, liar, and murderer) conspired to steal from me. I have learned that it is NEVER TOO LATE to give God the burden you are carrying on your back. Her can make something beautiful out of your pain.

The verses that touched my heart during the deep throes of my depression were these:

Isaiah 43:2
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.

and

Isaiah 61:3
He has sent me
to provide for all those who grieve in Zion,
to give them crowns instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of tears of grief,
and clothes of praise instead of a spirit of weakness.


They will be called Oaks of Righteousness,
the Plantings of the Lord,
so that he might display his glory.


Determine to stand on them!



.

 

[Arabhorselover]

We tie God's hands by our doubt and unbelief. He loves to heal us! Jesus died to free us of our diseases as well as our sins. I have suffered greatly with depression, and especially over the last 10 years. I came to the end of myself at one point and decided to trust God to take care of the issues that were burdening me. He took that yoke and I walked right out of the depression that put me in my bed and had me balloon up in weight to the point where I could no longer walk freely, and became housebound.

God moved me by telling me that during those pitiful years of grief and sorrow, my faith still pleased Him. What a monumental encouragement that was! I have since lost 163 lbs and am gaining my life back, that which the devil (that thief, liar, and murderer) conspired to steal from me. I have learned that it is NEVER TOO LATE to give God the burden you are carrying on your back. Her can make something beautiful out of your pain.

The verses that touched my heart during the deep throes of my depression were these:

Isaiah 43:2
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.

and

Isaiah 61:3
He has sent me
to provide for all those who grieve in Zion,
to give them crowns instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of tears of grief,
and clothes of praise instead of a spirit of weakness.


They will be called Oaks of Righteousness,
the Plantings of the Lord,
so that he might display his glory.


Determine to stand on them!



.

I think at this point I have to stop talking with you. You are apparently heading down the path of telling me that I have not been healed because I have not had enough faith. I have tried my best to have faith all my life, so I don't think that's the problem.

 

[Ophel]

I think at this point I have to stop talking with you. You are apparently heading down the path of telling me that I have not been healed because I have not had enough faith. I have tried my best to have faith all my life, so I don't think that's the problem.

I wasn't healed because my faith didn't embrace the full truth about it. That is not a criticism. It is speaking the truth in love.

If I came to you with a complaint that my house was cold, you could come and look around and tell me, "You are cold because you've left the window open!" I would be grateful, not hurt, and would set about to shut the window.

When someone tells me I need to increase my faith, those are beautiful words. I am rich in gratefulness! Pride has no place.

Proverbs 27:6 (AMP)
Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern],
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful [because they serve his hidden agenda].


.

 

[Arabhorselover]

I wasn't healed because my faith didn't embrace the full truth about it. That is not a criticism. It is speaking the truth in love.

If I came to you with a complaint that my house was cold, you could come and look around and tell me, "You are cold because you've left the window open!" I would be grateful, not hurt, and would set about to shut the window.

When someone tells me I need to increase my faith, those are beautiful words. I am rich in gratefulness! Pride has no place.

Proverbs 27:6 (AMP)
Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern],
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful [because they serve his hidden agenda].


.

I did not respond the way I did because I was hurt. I responded that way because even though you say you have been depressed, you apparently do not know the facts about depression. I do not need any more guilt placed on me. I put enough of that on myself already.

 

[Ophel]

I did not respond the way I did because I was hurt. I responded that way because even though you say you have been depressed, you apparently do not know the facts about depression. I do not need any more guilt placed on me. I put enough of that on myself already.

I know the facts about depression, and have struggled with it most of my adult life. No one is placing any guilt on you, but the devil sure gets his lumps in, doesn't he? He twists good words of hope and encouragement into something ugly. We must learn to recognize his voice and refuse to heed him.

Jesus died to free you of your burden! He loves you, and considers your peculiarities beautiful! He desires and has designed you to rise above and to soar!

Psalm 103:5
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the [soaring] eagle.

Isaiah 40:31
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

John 10:10
The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.
.

.

 

[Arabhorselover]

I know the facts about depression, and have struggled with it most of my adult life. No one is placing any guilt on you, but the devil sure gets his lumps in, doesn't he? He twists good words of hope and encouragement into something ugly. We must learn to recognize his voice and refuse to heed him.

Jesus died to free you of your burden! He loves you, and considers your peculiarities beautiful! He desires and has designed you to rise above and to soar!

Psalm 103:5
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the [soaring] eagle.

Isaiah 40:31
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.


.

.

If you know about depression, then you know how hard it can be to "keep the faith" in the midst of it. It becomes very hard to believe that God is there, cares, and wants to help when you know he has the power and yet chooses not to act.

 

[Ophel]

If you know about depression, then you know how hard it can be to "keep the faith" in the midst of it. It becomes very hard to believe that God is there, cares, and wants to help when you know he has the power and yet chooses not to act.

Yes, it was hard, indeed! But the Lord reminded me one day when I was telling Him how much I regretted my lack of faith: "I am pleased with your faith!"

That was not my thought. That was God speaking directly to me to correct me in love about the lie I was believing...a lie instilled by the enemy of God himself. I realized that deep down inside I had believed Satan and his lies about me. He was trying to destroy me and my calling of God. Ever since that day, I have refused to heed any such condemning words, ideas or impressions that the devil would try to instill in my mind.

It's a choice we must make to believe God's word and who we are in Christ. The power of God in you is powerful enough to kick the depression out. The choice is ours whether or not we want to cast out the enemy and smash down his strongholds in the power of the name of Jesus Christ and in the authority He has given every one of His children.

God has already done all! Jesus Christ took the lashes for our diseases.

Isaiah 53:5
But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our wickedness [our sin, our injustice, our wrongdoing];
The punishment [required] for our well-being fell on Him,
And by His stripes (wounds) we are healed.


.

 

[Arabhorselover]

Yes, it was hard, indeed! But the Lord reminded me one day when I was telling Him how much I regretted my lack of faith: "I am pleased with your faith!"

That was not my thought. That was God speaking directly to me to correct me in love about the lie I was believing...a lie instilled by the enemy of God himself. I realized that deep down inside I had believed Satan and his lies about me. He was trying to destroy me and my calling of God. Ever since that day, I have refused to heed any such condemning words, ideas or impressions that the devil would try to instill in my mind.

It's a choice we must make to believe God's word and who we are in Christ. The power of God in you is powerful enough to kick the depression out. The choice is ours whether or not we want to cast out the enemy and smash down his strongholds in the power of the name of Jesus Christ and in the authority He has given every one of His children.

God has already done all! Jesus Christ took the lashes for our diseases.

.

I have actually thought about this a lot. Apparently you believe that all cases of depression are the work of the devil?

 

[Ophel]

I have actually thought about this a lot. Apparently you believe that all cases of depression are the work of the devil?

While all disease is the result of Satan and sin in the world, when we stay there, it surely is.


.

 

[amadeus2]

I think at this point I have to stop talking with you. You are apparently heading down the path of telling me that I have not been healed because I have not had enough faith. I have tried my best to have faith all my life, so I don't think that's the problem.

All that is needed is just a little bit of faith, but also while trusting God, don't presume that He will heal everyone of their physical problems. Trust Him for healing until He tells you that it is not to be. Remember Paul:

"For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.
Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." II Cor 12:8-9

God has a comprehensive plan and healing in this world at times is in that plan, but sometimes for some people some not so good things (at least not so good from our natural human point of view) do happen. We need to understand that things are not done in our time for our purpose, but in God's time for His purpose:

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:" Ecc 3:1

"A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;" Ecc 3:3

Did not God who foreknew everything know that Adam and Eve would both sin? Knowing that ahead of time, why did He go ahead and create them anyway?

Some people, I believe, too often put their own agendas and desires ahead of God's will or presume that their own will is equal to God's will. Eventually, our will should be equal to God's but this is not where we start. Remember that even Jesus had a will that was not equal to his Father's will:

"And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." Matt 26:39

 

[Ophel]

All that is needed is just a little bit of faith, but also while trusting God, don't presume that He will heal everyone of their physical problems. Trust Him for healing until He tells you that it is not to be. Remember Paul:

"For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.
Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." II Cor 12:8-9

God has a comprehensive plan and healing in this world at times is in that plan, but sometimes for some people some not so good things (at least not so good from our natural human point of view) do happen. We need to understand that things are not done in our time for our purpose, but in God's time for His purpose:

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:" Ecc 3:1

"A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;" Ecc 3:3

Did not God who foreknew everything know that Adam and Eve would both sin? Knowing that ahead of time, why did He go ahead and create them anyway?

Some people, I believe, too often put their own agendas and desires ahead of God's will or presume that their own will is equal to God's will. Eventually, our will should be equal to God's but this is not where we start. Remember that even Jesus had a will that was not equal to his Father's will:

"And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." Matt 26:39

It is wrong to point to Paul and presume he had some sort of physical malady. That is a religiously concocted and unscriptural excuse that countless Christians use to rationalize their belief that God 's will is for people to be sick. A good father doesn't cause his children he loves to be sick.

Paul's thorn was a person sent by Satan to foment persecution everywhere Paul went---not a sickness.

Do a study of Hebraisms, and understand that a thorn in the flesh is about a person, not a thing. God's will is that His children be well and to prosper in all ways.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


.

 

[Ophel]

Jesus is God. His will is God's will.

John 10:11-18
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep. 12 A hired hand will run when he sees a wolf coming. He will abandon the sheep because they don’t belong to him and he isn’t their shepherd. And so the wolf attacks them and scatters the flock. 13 The hired hand runs away because he’s working only for the money and doesn’t really care about the sheep.

14 “I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me, 15 just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice my life for the sheep. 16 I have other sheep, too, that are not in this sheepfold. I must bring them also. They will listen to my voice, and there will be one flock with one shepherd.
“The Father loves me because I sacrifice my life so I may take it back again. 18 No one can take my life from me. I sacrifice it voluntarily. For I have the authority to lay it down when I want to and also to take it up again. For this is what my Father has commanded.”


.

 

[amadeus2]

It is wrong to point to Paul and presume he had some sort of physical malady. That is a religiously concocted and unscriptural excuse that countless Christians use to rationalize their belief that God 's will is for people to be sick. A good father doesn't cause his children he loves to be sick.

Did I presume anything? I quoted the verses. Would it really matter whether or not his thorn was a physical limitation, mental anguish, or a person come against him, if it were in accord with God's plan? Do you know all of the details of God's plan so well?

Paul's thorn was a person sent by Satan to foment persecution everywhere Paul went---not a sickness.

Has God told you this? Now, when Matthew chapters 5-7 and I Corinthians chapter 13 have been written in your heart, then probably nothing else will be necessary.

Do a study of Hebraisms, and understand that a thorn in the flesh is about a person, not a thing. God's will is that His children be well and to prosper in all ways.

God's will was that Adam and Eve not partake of the forbidden tree, but they did.

God's will was that the unnamed prophet out of Judah not eat or drink while in northern kingdom, but he did.

God's will was that King Saul should kill all of flocks of the Amalekites, but he did not.

God's will was that the Israelites would agree with Caleb and Joshua but they did not.

God's will was that all people would hear and obey His Word, but they would not.

As to studying "Hebraisms", where does it say to do that in scripture or did that requirement come from elsewhere?

"...much study is a weariness of the flesh." Ecc 12:12

I went to college and studied to obtain my degree. Then I met the Lord and I had to unlearn much of what I had studied so long to learn. It stood between me and God. There is admittedly still much in the way, but God is still working on it.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..

So then when they all were returned from Babylon did they live forever more on God's side? Did they not rebuild the temple and was it not destroyed yet again?

 

[Ophel]

It matters that we know that Paul's thorn was not a sickness, for he had the power in Christ to appropriate his healing. God, the perfect Father would never say no to healing! Rather, He said no to removing the thorn of persecution, because persecution is a promise for all who serve God. He gives us the strength to endure it, just as He promised Paul.

God's word tells us that the thorn is a person---in every single instance in the entire volume of the book. Never is it a sickness or anything else.

Believing erroneously that Paul's thorn was some kind of physical ailment gives Christians the excuse to believe a lie---that it is somehow God's will that His children be sick.


.

 

[Shutterbug]

Good morning AHL;

As a Christian I have struggled so much with whether or not it is okay to take medication for these types of things. I think there are a lot of people who are taking medications that they don't really need, but in my case I am coming to the point of accepting that I really do have a chemical imbalance, probably inherited, that will not go away on it's own. I hoped all of my life for God to heal me, and I have always blamed myself for the way I felt. For reasons only He knows, he has chosen not to perform a miracle here, and I am so thankful that these medications do exist. Perhaps they are the miracle.

I don't know the answer. At the very least, God has provided you with the medical care to keep your anxiety in check. All of us have issues although some are easier to deal with than others. I don't think it's so much about our circumstances as it is in letting them sap our joy and thus hardening our hearts. The hardening of hearts can be as much about giving up as it is in professing anger. We aren't promised a perfect life free from problems, but we are promised help in dealing with them. I believe how far that help goes is a balancing act of what we have the faith for and what God has in mind for us.

Prayer. While it is a tool for requesting help, it is also a tool for giving thanks and praise even in unhappy circumstances. Pick a song and sing it in your mind as you work.

Good teachers don't lecture to their students. instead, they make the subject more interesting by asking questions to encourage their brains to starting thinking of solutions. I've never claimed to be a good teacher, but I'll give it a try just for you.

Do you begin your day with prayer and thanksgiving? If yes, are their activities in your life which give you joy? If yes, do you sing when you're happy? Do you look forward to doing them again tomorrow? Do you believe God has a hand in them? What does the Bible say about joy? Well, I never said I was a good teacher. If there is one thing in your life you would like changed, do you believe God can manage it? How would you know it has changed? Do you truly believe God loves you? When we aren't feeling well, it's difficult to be positive. The last question is a tough one, but it's about personal confidence in something tangible that is identifiable and undeniable. Can you take that love from God and turn it into something tangible? I look forward to hearing from you. Phil 4:8.