Hello, I was Christened as a baby because I was very sick and was going to die. I always just accepted this as my belief. I went to a church school and took scripture as a subject later in school. I was a choirboy when young and used to go to various meetings. So I was sort of just always a Christian. But I was never born again. It never really, really came alive although as I've got older I have had times when I have so desperately needed it to. I believe I have had a really solid faith and put my trust in Jesus, but haven't noticed the effect of doing this... I've just trusted that it does have an effect, that God hears me and is there for me. It's like texting somebody, I know they got my text, but how come they don't text me back to acknowledge me... just with a feeling, or an intuition or a felt sense that they got the message. It's like desperately trying to have a relationship with somebody and they don't give you any sign that you are there.
As I said, the home environment was always different for me though...
There have always been tarot cards, crystals and spells in the house, getting help from Lucifer. My mother is a grey witch and practices a mixture of white and black witchcraft (spells to hurt or kill others.) My sister and aunt practice that religion too. Their prayers get answered too. I sometimes find it strange that out of the whole family I was the only one actively pushed in a Christian direction. I mean, it's good that they did, but it seems inconsistent with what they believe. My mum hates Christ, but was keen for me to go to church... why?
Hello Lost But Trying,
The picture your words have painted begin to clarify why you are standing at the crossroads that you are at this time. In truth you have never for yourself, committed yourself in Christ, in belief, repentance and faith. No they are not only words, but actions. I agree with you that you having been pushed towards Christianity is inconsistent with what the rest of your family believes. However, knowing this, it can in a child without it being overt, can create resentment on your part. Not towards your family but to Christianity! So, now after some years it seems to be the time to push back at what has kept you from being able to be with your family not only in presence, but also in belief. It might not be the occult at the moment, but of course, anything else but Christianity will probably also appear or for you hopefully satisfy what you've been lacking till now.
What is troubling is that your family by your own words are into the Occult. There can be many nuances on why they did what they did. As you say maybe, the fact that you as a babe were dying could be one of them. Life is in the purview of God and no other. The Adversary may seem to also have ability there, but it is only at the discretion of God, as you can see in the opening of the Book of Job. Though I'm not sure about this, but is quite possible that Satan might have more control over those who are his, verses what he can do against God's Children. Does who have been in the occult and have since come to Christ, confirm that against those who belong to Christ they are unable to do anything directly against them. Be that spell casting etc.
Your acknowledgement of what your family practices, and what you have been learning if in truth, of Christianity, the Word of God must have been very conflicting for you. Which of course it must be for anyone even partially familiar with Scripture and the objects of the Occult. Be it White, Grey, or Black makes no difference to God, because the Adversary is behind it and has them turning to him and not God.
There is a new member here, who has been part of the occult, and actually did a video/musical of sorts on the subject. He is also from the UK. You can look at his bio to gather an understanding of where he is coming from.
I'll add his name here in the hope that he will see it and reply
@IntoTheLIght-TheMusical .
Again, there could be many reasons why your family pushed you towards Christianity while they themselves continued in the Occult. In truth you'd have to ask them the why of it. Putting forth conjecture, when you could easily ask them, might have you believe that we are not who we are in Christ Jesus and that is one who loves you without precondition. Which is the same as we do for your family, though we don't approve nor does Scripture, of what your family that you mentioned are doing.
However, regardless of the reason, know that the truth of what the Word of God, Scripture, has presented to you and what you have been presented here and elsewhere heard. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the light. That no one comes to the Father but by Him. There is no pretense in His Word of Him being something other then what He lived, died, and after His Resurrection to Reign, on who He was and continues to be.
In Jesus the Christ there are not many choices to select from when one reads His Words. You can discard Him entirely, but you can't say He was just a teacher, or Holy Man, etc. For He was explicit on who He was and why He came and is not surprising why your mother hates Him so. If one must do something as it pertains to Jesus, besides follow Him, one must either believe Him, and as I mentioned before, repent, accept His death and resurrection for our sins or not.
You are in a difficult place because you are influenced by what I can only describe is the antithesis of what you find in the Word of God. For whether you realize it or not, you are torn between two existences. One of God and one that is not. That is why the Crossroads you are at is something you have to decide on, and truly determines not just the here and now, but Eternity.
I don't know besides that you have never come to Jesus in truth, but have been doing what you believe has been required of you to do. Again, it could also be affected by your families practices and the very reason that you are at this Crossroads on deciding. If you are unable to come to Christ Jesus, and believe in Him as your Savior in Repentance, that He has Risen to Reign as not only your Lord and Savior, but King of Kings. You will continue to move from one belief system to another. None being able to satisfy what your Spirit is longing for and that is a belonging, a completeness, peace and agape love that only through Christ Jesus one can receive.
I must also note that the opportunity to bring them, your family from darkness to the light might be something you will be called to do, but unless you are truly Jesus' that will never have the possibility of happening through you. There is no hopelessness in Christ Jesus. Especially as you keep your eyes on Him!
So, not knowing if you have ever truly come to Jesus of your own free will, I have and will continue to pray that you do. As I'm sure every Brother and Sister in Christ Jesus of mine, will also do. I also, hope the Brother in Christ who was also in the Occult but is not a Saved through the Blood of the Lamb Jesus Christ, will find the time to contact you, and help you as the Spirit moves him.
With the Love of Christ Jesus.
Nick
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Additional Note: There is a battle ragging, in which we are engaged in.
Now I, Paul, myself am pleading with you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ--who in presence [am] lowly among you, but being absent am bold toward you. But I beg [you] that when I am present I may not be bold with that confidence by which I intend to be bold against some, who think of us as if we walked according to the flesh. For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare [are] not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled. 2 Corinthians 10:1-6
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual [hosts] of wickedness in the heavenly [places]. Ephesians 6:12
