Not sure if I am still saved

[Viwriter]

Okay so, I was born again at age 16 but I fell away for a while. I have legitimate chronic pain but when I slipped into running out of my Rx early, the Lord told me to stop taking it and switch to a natural pain control option that he would show me. I was too afraid of what my family and drs would think so I kept taking the Rx and running out early. Then I had a dream that said if I didn’t repent I would lose my salvation. So I tried my best to repent and stay on the stuff the Lord showed me. But when I have been in the hospital they give you regular medicine there and each time it’s been physically difficult to switch back. I have fallen a few times since I first tried to repent into drug seeking etc. but each time the lord accepted me back.

In November of 2022, I had a bad stomach infection and I was in the hospital for a few weeks. Even when I got home the natural option wouldn’t stay down. So without asking the Lord first, I got of suboxone which is used to treat drug addiction and dependence. The Lord told me to get off it and I’ve been trying to taper off since.
The spirit had been very quiet and I thought I had possibly committed the unforgivable sin making him leave me. So I researched it and found out I hadn’t (at that point). As a result of my research I concluded that it was, slandering Him or rebuking him.

I had also been praying very hard asking the Holy Spirit to help me repent and stop being so afraid of human options of my actions.

However, a few days after I was researching what blasphemy of the Holy Spirit was, I was praying and trying to be quiet and hear God and suddenly the thought “ How dare you tell me what to do” came into my head. It doesn’t make sense that I would think that after just asking and asking and asking for the Holy Spirit to talk to me and to help me repent and get over my fear of peoples opinions. I’m so confused. I don’t think that could really have been me saying that. But God feels further away than ever. I haven’t slept in like 2 days. I feel like I’m making myself crazy. I know the Holy Spirit has every right to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. If I didn’t want his guidance I could have just gone on doing my things without saying anything like that. I would never even dream of being that disrespectful but it was like I was watching myself think it in a time of silent prayer. I honestly don’t know if it was some dark side of myself or something totally intrusive. I know I need to hear from the lord about whether I’m still his child or not. I haven’t slept in like 2 days. I keep looking for reassurance but nothing is helping.

 

[Hekuran]

Welcome to the forums @Viwriter

When you first turned to Jesus, you were welcomed into God's family and drawn into his kingdom. You are his child. He will not easily let you out of his grasp or withdraw his love from you.

I know next to nothing about your health condition or drug prescription regime. But it sounds to me that you are overcome with confusion and that is knocking you sideways.

The fundamental truth is that God is Love and you belong to him. Shape all your thoughts, decisions and actions around that vital truth and you might find the path ahead easier to navigate.

 

[Hekuran]

There's a psalm which is perfect for sleepless anxiety too. Psalm 91. Try praying it out loud before sleep. Blessings

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

 

[Br. Bear]

and,

God is faithful.
I Corinthians 10:13

God is not a man that He should lie;
neither the Son of man that He should repent:
hath He said, and shall He not do it?

or hath He spoken, and shall He not make it good?
Numbers 23:19

Faithful is He that calleth you, Who also will do it.
I Thessalonians 5:24

 

[Viwriter]

Welcome to the forums @Viwriter

When you first turned to Jesus, you were welcomed into God's family and drawn into his kingdom. You are his child. He will not easily let you out of his grasp or withdraw his love from you.

I know next to nothing about your health condition or drug prescription regime. But it sounds to me that you are overcome with confusion and that is knocking you sideways.

The fundamental truth is that God is Love and you belong to him. Shape all your thoughts, decisions and actions around that vital truth and you might find the path ahead easier to navigate.

Thanks,
I almost left out specific details because it’s not about my health conditions. The point is I kept doing something that God told me to stop doing and ignored God. Now I don’t know if I let my heart get so hard that I would actually start thinking thoughts that would be telling off the Holy Spirit

 

[Hekuran]

Thanks,
I almost left out specific details because it’s not about my health conditions. The point is I kept doing something that God told me to stop doing and ignored God. Now I don’t know if I let my heart get so hard that I would actually start thinking thoughts that would be telling off the Holy Spirit

Yes, and you certainly dont want to be taking medical advice from a stranger on the internet!

I'd want to gently question how clearly God was leading you to stop taking the medication. I've been following Jesus for 40 years and have often mistaken his guidance.

One thing that I know about people who have hearts hardened to God: they don't worry about having a heart hardened to God.

You are free to come into God's presence in humility and confidence. Find your delight in him as he delights in you.

 

[Viwriter]

It was a conversation in a dream with him like it looked like him. He said don’t take anymore of your pain medicine it isn’t good for you anymore. Then when I didn’t stop there was another dream that started in a church with prophets and ended up in heaven. I didn’t see YHWH but I know I was talking to him. I asked “ so are you just going to kick me out now. He said “ We’ll give you the opportunity to repent first”
I said “ I need healing and he said ok. The second dream was the scariest I ever had

Do they worry about Hell? I’m not sure if that’s what I’m most worried about or not

 

[Viwriter]

God was asking me to give up an addiction. If I had said it was street drugs or pornography or even chocolate no one would wonder if I had heard God. But since it was my prescription people ( remember I’ve been wandering the net talking to people because I am feeling scared and hopeless and just numb, so not just here) act like God would never tell someone to stop a Rx.

I agree that one has to be careful with saying God told me not to take my medicine. However, he is the great physician and he knows us and our bodies better than the human doctors.

 

[Br. Bear]

Okay so, I was born again at age 16 but I fell away for a while. I have legitimate chronic pain but when I slipped into running out of my Rx early, the Lord told me to stop taking it and switch to a natural pain control option that he would show me. I was too afraid of what my family and drs would think so I kept taking the Rx and running out early. Then I had a dream that said if I didn’t repent I would lose my salvation. So I tried my best to repent and stay on the stuff the Lord showed me. But when I have been in the hospital they give you regular medicine there and each time it’s been physically difficult to switch back. I have fallen a few times since I first tried to repent into drug seeking etc. but each time the lord accepted me back.

In November of 2022, I had a bad stomach infection and I was in the hospital for a few weeks. Even when I got home the natural option wouldn’t stay down. So without asking the Lord first, I got of suboxone which is used to treat drug addiction and dependence. The Lord told me to get off it and I’ve been trying to taper off since.
The spirit had been very quiet and I thought I had possibly committed the unforgivable sin making him leave me. So I researched it and found out I hadn’t (at that point). As a result of my research I concluded that it was, slandering Him or rebuking him.

I had also been praying very hard asking the Holy Spirit to help me repent and stop being so afraid of human options of my actions.

However, a few days after I was researching what blasphemy of the Holy Spirit was, I was praying and trying to be quiet and hear God and suddenly the thought “ How dare you tell me what to do” came into my head. It doesn’t make sense that I would think that after just asking and asking and asking for the Holy Spirit to talk to me and to help me repent and get over my fear of peoples opinions. I’m so confused. I don’t think that could really have been me saying that. But God feels further away than ever. I haven’t slept in like 2 days. I feel like I’m making myself crazy. I know the Holy Spirit has every right to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. If I didn’t want his guidance I could have just gone on doing my things without saying anything like that. I would never even dream of being that disrespectful but it was like I was watching myself think it in a time of silent prayer. I honestly don’t know if it was some dark side of myself or something totally intrusive. I know I need to hear from the lord about whether I’m still his child or not. I haven’t slept in like 2 days. I keep looking for reassurance but nothing is helping.

Greetings,

please be aware that some medications, like the ones you have mentioned, can often have side effects, especially after lengthy prescription and use. They can mess with a person's thinking.
Withdrawal also can bring different thought patterns.

May I suggest that if possible speak to a doctor and explain your concern about having erratic thoughts from the effect of the medications and ask if there maybe something better for you to use, if anything?
I have heard that THC Oil can be beneficial but have never used it, so cannot tell you from experience. Can a doctor prescribe that for you? Only a thought for your consideration.

As far as where you are with the Lord.
The title of this thread is, "not sure if I am still saved" and yet you appear to have great confidence in Him :

However, he is the great physician and he knows us and our bodies better than the human doctors.

Do not let stinking thinking interfere with His love for you.

also thank the Lord for revealing to you about yourself and how [like most] you have some grotty bits to be cleaned. Angry and rude thoughts and words and actions are not what you want to have and are certainly not what you are designed to be like. Commit your ways unto the Lord in ,Whom you have great confidence, and He will guide your steps and watch over you.

When I am afraid... I will trust in Thee
Psalm 56:3


Bless you ....><>
Jesus is the Lord

 

[Viwriter]

I know about withdrawals. I’ve been through it. Many times actually. I don’t think the thoughts are from the medicine. And yes there is something better called Kratom. The lord showed me. Yeah I should have left out the specifics. Most drs don’t know about kratom and wouldn’t either know anything about it or they have misinformation about it and wouldn’t like that I am switching back to it. But this thread keeps getting derailed into medical topics

 

[complete]

Okay so, I was born again at age 16 but I fell away for a while. I have legitimate chronic pain but when I slipped into running out of my Rx early, the Lord told me to stop taking it and switch to a natural pain control option that he would show me. I was too afraid of what my family and drs would think so I kept taking the Rx and running out early. Then I had a dream that said if I didn’t repent I would lose my salvation. So I tried my best to repent and stay on the stuff the Lord showed me. But when I have been in the hospital they give you regular medicine there and each time it’s been physically difficult to switch back. I have fallen a few times since I first tried to repent into drug seeking etc. but each time the lord accepted me back.

In November of 2022, I had a bad stomach infection and I was in the hospital for a few weeks. Even when I got home the natural option wouldn’t stay down. So without asking the Lord first, I got of suboxone which is used to treat drug addiction and dependence. The Lord told me to get off it and I’ve been trying to taper off since.
The spirit had been very quiet and I thought I had possibly committed the unforgivable sin making him leave me. So I researched it and found out I hadn’t (at that point). As a result of my research I concluded that it was, slandering Him or rebuking him.

I had also been praying very hard asking the Holy Spirit to help me repent and stop being so afraid of human options of my actions.

However, a few days after I was researching what blasphemy of the Holy Spirit was, I was praying and trying to be quiet and hear God and suddenly the thought “ How dare you tell me what to do” came into my head. It doesn’t make sense that I would think that after just asking and asking and asking for the Holy Spirit to talk to me and to help me repent and get over my fear of peoples opinions. I’m so confused. I don’t think that could really have been me saying that. But God feels further away than ever. I haven’t slept in like 2 days. I feel like I’m making myself crazy. I know the Holy Spirit has every right to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. If I didn’t want his guidance I could have just gone on doing my things without saying anything like that. I would never even dream of being that disrespectful but it was like I was watching myself think it in a time of silent prayer. I honestly don’t know if it was some dark side of myself or something totally intrusive. I know I need to hear from the lord about whether I’m still his child or not. I haven’t slept in like 2 days. I keep looking for reassurance but nothing is helping.

Hello @Viwriter,

You were saved by hearing and believing the good news of God, concerning His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. That word does not change. Feelings are fickle, dreams and experiences can be delusional, but God's Word is sure. Stop looking within, and look up to where Christ sits at God's right hand. God has placed you in Christ (1Cor:1:30-31), and the work He has begun in you He will continue to do until the day of Christ, for He saves to the uttermost those who come unto Him for salvation.

* You have died with Christ, been buried, quickened and raised with Him, and when He appears in glory you will appear with Him there. because God wills it so.. Reckon yourself to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God, not because you feel so, but because God has said so. Just believe it! The power is His.

Trust God and Him only.
Within the love of Christ our Saviour
our Lord and Head.
Chris xx

 

[complete]

@Viwriter,

'For ye see your calling, brethren,
how that not many wise men after the flesh,
not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise;
and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen,
yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:
That no flesh should glory in His presence.
But of Him are ye in Christ Jesus,
.. Who of God is made unto us -
.... wisdom,
...... and righteousness,
........ and sanctification,
.......... and redemption:
That, according as it is written,
He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.'
(1 Cor. 1:26-31)

Praise God!

Rejoice!

 

[complete]

@Viwriter,

Faith, Hope and Experience were walking along a wall,
Hope was fine while he kept his eyes on Faith,
but when Hope looked around at Experience,
Hope fell off the wall, along with Experience,
but Faith went walking on.

 

[watertolive]

Greetings in the Lord,
Humble yourself...come to him as a little child; knowing nothing and able to be taught, looking up to the One bigger that knows all about it.
Repent means to turn away and do it no more.
That means you may have to find new friends, or your still dragging around the old baggage.
Trust me, those old friends want to help you fail.
Stick to the Word, don't let go.
Sounds like you are going through "dry places"; when the unclean spirit has left a man he goes through dry places.
God is testing you; don't let go. Stay steady on the straight and narrow. He will bless you and strengthen you at the end of it.

Oh yeah, and those thoughts; that is the devil messing around in your mind. The devil is the father of lies and the author of confussion.
When the confusion comes tell him the Lord rebukes you and to get behind you. Sing songs of praise unto the Lord; the devil will flee from you.
Idle mind and idle hands are the devil's playground.
So, think upon whatever things are lovely, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are of good report; think upon those things. Praise Him, don't stop.
Your going to come out of this alot stonger than when you enter into the dry places. Amen

All praise, glory, and honor be unto God. Amen

 

[Viwriter]

Greetings in the Lord,
Humble yourself...come to him as a little child; knowing nothing and able to be taught, looking up to the One bigger that knows all about it.
Repent means to turn away and do it no more.
That means you may have to find new friends, or your still dragging around the old baggage.
Trust me, those old friends want to help you fail.
Stick to the Word, don't let go.
Sounds like you are going through "dry places"; when the unclean spirit has left a man he goes through dry places.
God is testing you; don't let go. Stay steady on the straight and narrow. He will bless you and strengthen you at the end of it.

Oh yeah, and those thoughts; that is the devil messing around in your mind. The devil is the father of lies and the author of confussion.
When the confusion comes tell him the Lord rebukes you and to get behind you. Sing songs of praise unto the Lord; the devil will flee from you.
Idle mind and idle hands are the devil's playground.
So, think upon whatever things are lovely, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are of good report; think upon those things. Praise Him, don't stop.
Your going to come out of this alot stonger than when you enter into the dry places. Amen

All praise, glory, and honor be unto God. Amen

I know for most people addiction is influenced by friends but I haven’t had friends who were on drugs. In fact, I also have Asperger’s syndrome and thus I don’t really have friends except like one close person at a time. Nonetheless I see your point and appreciate it. Thanks

 

[complete]

' Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge Him,
and He shall direct thy paths.'
(Pro 3:5-6)

 

[imNnobody2]

the spiret wont talk .. you will feel it..... it will tingle from the inside out. it will not hurt you , it will not give you alta matums, fear is not associated at all...... that is guilt. god will never do that. he is love. that is your ego talking.. tell it to go away and you have no time for its nonsense and drama....you know your limits. you are in control always . breath and trust. when your house is in order you will know....................to simplify... growing pains..

 

[Bill]

Okay so, I was born again at age 16 but I fell away for a while. I have legitimate chronic pain but when I slipped into running out of my Rx early, the Lord told me to stop taking it and switch to a natural pain control option that he would show me. I was too afraid of what my family and drs would think so I kept taking the Rx and running out early. Then I had a dream that said if I didn’t repent I would lose my salvation. So I tried my best to repent and stay on the stuff the Lord showed me. But when I have been in the hospital they give you regular medicine there and each time it’s been physically difficult to switch back. I have fallen a few times since I first tried to repent into drug seeking etc. but each time the lord accepted me back.

In November of 2022, I had a bad stomach infection and I was in the hospital for a few weeks. Even when I got home the natural option wouldn’t stay down. So without asking the Lord first, I got of suboxone which is used to treat drug addiction and dependence. The Lord told me to get off it and I’ve been trying to taper off since.
The spirit had been very quiet and I thought I had possibly committed the unforgivable sin making him leave me. So I researched it and found out I hadn’t (at that point). As a result of my research I concluded that it was, slandering Him or rebuking him.

I had also been praying very hard asking the Holy Spirit to help me repent and stop being so afraid of human options of my actions.

However, a few days after I was researching what blasphemy of the Holy Spirit was, I was praying and trying to be quiet and hear God and suddenly the thought “ How dare you tell me what to do” came into my head. It doesn’t make sense that I would think that after just asking and asking and asking for the Holy Spirit to talk to me and to help me repent and get over my fear of peoples opinions. I’m so confused. I don’t think that could really have been me saying that. But God feels further away than ever. I haven’t slept in like 2 days. I feel like I’m making myself crazy. I know the Holy Spirit has every right to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. If I didn’t want his guidance I could have just gone on doing my things without saying anything like that. I would never even dream of being that disrespectful but it was like I was watching myself think it in a time of silent prayer. I honestly don’t know if it was some dark side of myself or something totally intrusive. I know I need to hear from the lord about whether I’m still his child or not. I haven’t slept in like 2 days. I keep looking for reassurance but nothing is helping.

God understands we are human. The important thing here is that "you have come to your senses" as did the Prodigal Son. In the story we read how The Prodigal Son "came to his senses". And the repentance that God requires the Prodigal Son kept repeating on the road what he had done to God and his father.

Here too you have done the same. Be welcome back into the church, for God's arms are wide open and ready to receive you

 

[Bill]

Okay so, I was born again at age 16 but I fell away for a while. I have legitimate chronic pain but when I slipped into running out of my Rx early, the Lord told me to stop taking it and switch to a natural pain control option that he would show me. I was too afraid of what my family and drs would think so I kept taking the Rx and running out early. Then I had a dream that said if I didn’t repent I would lose my salvation. So I tried my best to repent and stay on the stuff the Lord showed me. But when I have been in the hospital they give you regular medicine there and each time it’s been physically difficult to switch back. I have fallen a few times since I first tried to repent into drug seeking etc. but each time the lord accepted me back.

In November of 2022, I had a bad stomach infection and I was in the hospital for a few weeks. Even when I got home the natural option wouldn’t stay down. So without asking the Lord first, I got of suboxone which is used to treat drug addiction and dependence. The Lord told me to get off it and I’ve been trying to taper off since.
The spirit had been very quiet and I thought I had possibly committed the unforgivable sin making him leave me. So I researched it and found out I hadn’t (at that point). As a result of my research I concluded that it was, slandering Him or rebuking him.

I had also been praying very hard asking the Holy Spirit to help me repent and stop being so afraid of human options of my actions.

However, a few days after I was researching what blasphemy of the Holy Spirit was, I was praying and trying to be quiet and hear God and suddenly the thought “ How dare you tell me what to do” came into my head. It doesn’t make sense that I would think that after just asking and asking and asking for the Holy Spirit to talk to me and to help me repent and get over my fear of peoples opinions. I’m so confused. I don’t think that could really have been me saying that. But God feels further away than ever. I haven’t slept in like 2 days. I feel like I’m making myself crazy. I know the Holy Spirit has every right to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. If I didn’t want his guidance I could have just gone on doing my things without saying anything like that. I would never even dream of being that disrespectful but it was like I was watching myself think it in a time of silent prayer. I honestly don’t know if it was some dark side of myself or something totally intrusive. I know I need to hear from the lord about whether I’m still his child or not. I haven’t slept in like 2 days. I keep looking for reassurance but nothing is helping.

It was not God's voice you heard.

Hear me when i tell you, the unforgivable sin is not for a person in your state of mind.

The sin against the Holy Spirit has to do with pride.

Learn to be open to God's Love, let God's love fill you.

May the Love of God fill you, may His Joy shield you, and may the Father in Heaven always be in your heart

 

[lentz]

It was not God's voice you heard.

Hear me when i tell you, the unforgivable sin is not for a person in your state of mind.

The sin against the Holy Spirit has to do with pride.

Learn to be open to God's Love, let God's love fill you.

May the Love of God fill you, may His Joy shield you, and may the Father in Heaven always be in your heart

The unpardonable sin is to say Christ has an evil spirit. Or that the Holy Spirit is evil.

But plainly this person needs a christian psychiatrist