Dear sister Bety,
if you know the church that he goes to as a proud Protestant, do feel free to bring evidence of his verbal abuse and his sinful lifestyle by audio recording him secretly and/or however other ways the Lord may lead you to do it. If you can bring witnesses against him for the pastor(s) to hear, that would even be better still. At least they become aware of it and the Lord may use them to minister to him and correct him and if necessary, excommunicate him to lead him to repentance.
I do not know if he is so cavalier in his abuse towards you; maybe I misread your post, but if so, I would think the Lord would be able to help you get the evidence and witnesses you need to show the church why they need to minister to him.
I would not brag about what you are going to do. I would not brag about having done it, unless that puts up a wall of resistance to whatever the pastors and the church would say to him.
1 Timothy 5:18 For the scripture saith, thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn. And, The labourer is worthy of his reward. 19 Against an elder receive not an accusation, but before two or three witnesses. 20 Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.
If however they love his money rather than his spiritual standing with the Lord, then I reckon this is the only guide I can offer you.
1 Peter 3:1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1 Peter 2:19 For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully. 20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. 21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: 22 Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: 23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously: 24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. 25 For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.
As for judging yourself as ugly, you are doing it by the world's standard: not God's. Don't allow your husband's faults influence you in any way when God loves you regardless of your outward appearance.
1 John 2:15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.
1 Samuel 16:7But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the
outward appearance,
but the Lord looketh on the heart.
2 Corinthians 10:7Do ye look on things after the
outward appearance? if any man trust to himself that he is Christ's, let him of himself think this again, that, as he is Christ's, even so are we Christ's.
Proverbs 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and
beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Galatians 1:10 For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
Colossians 3:22 Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God; 23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; 24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
You are providing for your children ; do set the example that God would have you set in loving them regardless of the outward appearance. I know you love them, but if you judge yourself ugly, how far behind will your children judge themselves?
None of these things in scripture can be done by looking to ourselves in doing the best we can because I have to rely on the Lord all the time to help me to follow Him. That is why the just are to live by faith in Him & all His promises to us.