So men indeed choose ******* over decent women

[Enxu]

I worked very hard on myself to get over my own relationship patterns, reduce my baggages even when it’s not a result of my bad choices. I’ve not even dated anyone formally, cut myself off from a bad relationship before investing too much so as to avoid wasting myself on the wrong men, kept myself a virgin for 30 years because I want to give my best to my husband and I aspire to be a godly woman.

I will never settle for a man who can only give scraps to me, especially when its because he burned himself out with poor choices of women. If he is that lazy so as not to learn from bad choices, won’t bother to educate himself on such important matters like relationships like how hard I’m educating myself then he simply doesn’t deserve me. All I want is fairness, I want to get back as much as I can give, there is nothing unforgiving, bitter or selfish about that.

 

[FullArmorofGod]

Well I thought I had connection with this man. We even talked about our past and the pain we went through due to our childhood. He listened to my pain and brought me comfort. I complimented him every time he did something that touched me, boosted his ego and wanted to support him. But he still went after the woman who act like a *****, simply because she is more radiant and doesn’t give a damn offending people for her attention seeking behavior. How nice.

Faith or not, there's still attraction. While my faith is important, I am not physically attracted to body positivity. Must be attracted to her. As for sharing pains, i don't bother, and I rather have better chemistry than a pity party.

As a man of the modern era, its a crap shoot today. A lot of women are sleeping around and chasing playboy. I find this common in the church and even the churches telling guys to man up and marry the girl who wouldn't give the time a day when young and attractive.

Many online bios read about men prepare to come last after her kids (note multiple) and after her career and dog and whatever else.


At this stage, i am all in on bachelor life. If God has any other plan, I will be there but I am not exactly thrilled by our society nor our culture. I hear how women talk about men, their husbands and boyfriend in public. Its appalling.


Try to be OK with the scenario. Be happy for him but disappear. Don't be a fallback for anybody. I have no time to listen about being side piece or anything like that. Move on.

Before pandemic, i met a girl. During pandemic not once she asked how I was doing. I lost her number and met more girls.

 

[FullArmorofGod]

I worked very hard on myself to get over my own relationship patterns, reduce my baggages even when it’s not a result of my bad choices. I’ve not even dated anyone formally, cut myself off from a bad relationship before investing too much so as to avoid wasting myself on the wrong men, kept myself a virgin for 30 years because I want to give my best to my husband and I aspire to be a godly woman.

I will never settle for a man who can only give scraps to me, especially when its because he burned himself out with poor choices of women. If he is that lazy so as not to learn from bad choices, won’t bother to educate himself on such important matters like relationships like how hard I’m educating myself then he simply doesn’t deserve me. All I want is fairness, I want to get back as much as I can give, there is nothing unforgiving, bitter or selfish about that.

I went out with a girl the other night.

Where is this going? What do you want? 21 questions. Very annoying. Also, into activists and SJW. I have no interest in seeing again.

Its very annoying. As a man, I don't need it. I knew her before when she was younger. Now, its time to get serious lol? Ya, ok bud!

Your situation is different. I advice that you Meditate and let it go. Be happy to experience something but it didn't work out. So be it. Live and learn. You can meet someone else.

I urge caution. I believe in God but I am a fully functional young man who works out 6 days a week. I have nothing arousing hearing about the ******* a woman spent chasing or being a booty call for. Women from the past with some other man's kid? Lucky me. I am not trying to be a goof.

The culture sucks. The gun to the head approach is a sure fire way to get me to hit the ejection button. ASAP.

YouTube Mathew Hussey. He talked about the bios that read, "no **** boys." it portrays wounds and not your best features. This is what men are pillaging through? And now its time to play house after Chad and Tyrone. Lucky me?

Meditate. I have lost my patience with ot all too. I have met a girl who is a good woman and young. She is strong in faith. The question is how about chemistry? I am going to find out.

Good luck on future endeavours. Stop with the wounds. DOUBLE DOWN ON CHEMISTRY.

 

[Enxu]

Faith or not, there's still attraction. While my faith is important, I am not physically attracted to body positivity. Must be attracted to her. As for sharing pains, i don't bother, and I rather have better chemistry than a pity party.

As a man of the modern era, its a crap shoot today. A lot of women are sleeping around and chasing playboy. I find this common in the church and even the churches telling guys to man up and marry the girl who wouldn't give the time a day when young and attractive.

Many online bios read about men prepare to come last after her kids (note multiple) and after her career and dog and whatever else.


At this stage, i am all in on bachelor life. If God has any other plan, I will be there but I am not exactly thrilled by our society nor our culture. I hear how women talk about men, their husbands and boyfriend in public. Its appalling.


Try to be OK with the scenario. Be happy for him but disappear. Don't be a fallback for anybody. I have no time to listen about being side piece or anything like that. Move on.

Before pandemic, i met a girl. During pandemic not once she asked how I was doing. I lost her number and met more girls.

Dont worry I will never be a side piece. I have never been a side piece anyway but I’m still frustrated and angered at the laziness of men who expect people to clean up their lives for their own bad choices. They burned themselves out for being dumb fools but then expect us good women to just accept them for who they are even if their baggage is ruining relationships and hurting good women. They don’t even feel bad for giving us good women scraps when they know we deserve so much better than the ******* they chose to give their all to.

A man who isn’t even trying the darnest to work on himself, rectify his crappy relationship patterns so that he can be his best version of himself ain’t even worth my time. Such men are weak minded and make for poor partners eventually, I feel sorry for anyone who ends up marrying them. They are just complacent about themselves and life in general, not wanting to work hard on what is important and expecting the good women to just accept their garbage which they brought upon themselves with their stagnant mindset. I would be a fool of a took to want such a man.

 

[Br. Bear]

Greetings,

may i ask, what made you such a good woman and how does your goodness weigh up before the Lord, in His scales?
This is something we all need to remind ourselves of.

If one is a godly sort, is that because they are so much better than all others?
All our righteousness is as filthy rags.

I would caution any man from getting involved with a woman who considers herself better than everyone else, a woman who speaks so harhsly against men. Something is not right about boastings, that we all need to be aware of.

Have you received the grace of God despite your unworthiness? I have. Can i now boast in my own godliness? No.
We are to boast of Christ and Him crucified.

Grace and peace to you


Bless you ....><>

 

[Enxu]

Greetings,

may i ask, what made you such a good woman and how does your goodness weigh up before the Lord, in His scales?

I would caution any man from getting involved with a woman who considers herself better than everyone else, a woman who speaks so harhsly against men. Something is not right about boastings, that we all need to be aware of.

I am a good woman because I don’t use people, don’t mistreat people out of jealousy and hold myself to very high standards on how I act. Other women however have mistreated me out of jealousy, use men for their own lusts, have an entitled mindset and do things their own way and don’t give a damn about their characters and will step over anyone who gets in their way. I am certainly better than them and God is my witness to how I act in real life.


If you’re going to judge me just because of a few text messages I send on a forum then I can equally question how loving you are as a so called Christian. I have seen ******* throw verbal abuse around at people telling them to kill themselves but somehow you don’t view them negatively? Rofl, the church is a joke now. Good people get judged negatively for venting their frustrations but the church shuts its mouth in speaking out against really evil people. It’s disgusting

 

[Enxu]

Greetings,

may i ask, what made you such a good woman and how does your goodness weigh up before the Lord, in His scales?
This is something we all need to remind ourselves of.

If one is a godly sort, is that because they are so much better than all others?
All our righteousness is as filthy rags.

I would caution any man from getting involved with a woman who considers herself better than everyone else, a woman who speaks so harhsly against men. Something is not right about boastings, that we all need to be aware of.

Have you received the grace of God despite your unworthiness? I have. Can i now boast in my own godliness? No.
We are to boast of Christ and Him crucified.

Grace and peace to you


Bless you ....><>

For that matter I never boasted about myself (cause I never once said I’m better than everyone else) so you’ve falsely accused me, something a Christian wouldn’t do. I am talking about women like me who are aspiring to be godly women. Is it boasting to say that we are better than women who have no character and act like Jezebel in the Bible? Rofl

 

[Enxu]

Me: I feel unfair that good women aren’t given the love they deserve and bad women get all the love they don’t deserve.

Job shares my complaints that evil people get ahead in life while people who seek God get misfortunes.

Somehow having this view is self boasting and people like Job and myself are people others “need to be aware of”.

I never said one sentence close to meaning I’m better than everyone else but such words are put into my mouth on a Christian forum.

YUCK the falsehoods and accusations of the modern day Pharisees

 

[Enxu]

Greetings,

may i ask, what made you such a good woman and how does your goodness weigh up before the Lord, in His scales?
This is something we all need to remind ourselves of.

If one is a godly sort, is that because they are so much better than all others?
All our righteousness is as filthy rags.

I would caution any man from getting involved with a woman who considers herself better than everyone else, a woman who speaks so harhsly against men. Something is not right about boastings, that we all need to be aware of.

Have you received the grace of God despite your unworthiness? I have. Can i now boast in my own godliness? No.
We are to boast of Christ and Him crucified.

Grace and peace to you


Bless you ....><>

Do you know I’ve prayed in tears for the man I’m ranting about on this forum in secret for God to rescue him from Jezebel spirited woman? Don’t believe me? God will catch me in a lie and I’m not a fool to lie in front of Him.

You see me speaking a few nasty words in frustration against men and you judge me as a self boaster, a woman who men needs to be aware of.

But God knows I’m reacting this way because of how much I care for the welfare of men and I’m frustrated they aren’t learning to choose better partners. It is the exact same feeling that God has when His people run after false gods and end up sabotaging themselves. You know nothing about what my true intentions are yet you have the audacity to judge me. SHAME ON YOU.

 

[Br. Bear]

Greetings,

thank you for sharing your thoughts in response to my post.

Forgive me if my ability to put something forward has not come across as i intended.
I do not know any sincere Christians who take offence at words meant to 'question' the hearer, as iron sharpening iron, words that help the hearing to consider all their ways before the Lord and if needs be for any action resulting, do so with thanksgiving and if no need, to be thankful to have had the opportunity to consider their ways. Most will know that the Lord can and will reveal any and everything to them for their good and His glory.
We find this also even when insulted. If we take all things to the Lord with an open heart and mind to have Him show us what we need, He is faithful to minister to us.
Does that always mean sugar coated sweetness? No, in fact, never. But He does minister to us in love. I do try to do likewise but I know that i am still learning and often get it wrong.

If you consider yourself all good, then if that is so, good.... but, as with all, it is only by God's grace and for His glory that any are good. {if any doubt this, did we make ourselves? No, the Lord made man and as with all that He made, it is and was and will be, good.}


My point about boasting, was two-edged, not only for you but for all who might be looking for answers.
My point about warning a man about a boastful woman likewise.

First, if there is any such way in you, you know it is no good AND that is something the Lord knows better than you and i and everyone else AND if we really seek after Him and His righteousness we would gladly ask the Lord to show us any wrong way in us and help us even more to be removed from such ways, for as it is written, I delight to do Thy will O LORD.

In the Bible we read that the flesh wars against the Spirit and the Spirit was against the flesh. Most of us do not see that but if we slow down a little, we get glimpses of it.

May i ask, why do you refer to Job? and liken yourself to Job?
Many do, but in reality, how many can honestly say they are where he was taken? However, many also forget the outcome for Job after being questioned by the LORD. Do we stop with a little suffering and say we are like Job and forget too quickly that the Lord blessed Him... and if we are so much like Job as we either think or want others to think, surely we will also be blessed like Job was and since we know what he didn't, that is, the outcome of it all, we should be skipping through our trials and troubles?

By the way, please do not get too hasty about my heart or intentions when i write to you in replies. You wrote some very strong words against me which shows me that you are very upset about things and perhaps more deeply hurt than you realise, BUT... the Lord knows your frame and He knows all that is before you now. I encourage you to look forward to all He has for you, all He has prepared for you.


As i pointed out earlier in this thread, a lot of what you shared reminds me of the ways of Israel and even those before and after and the way of God in His merciful lovingkindness [hesed] - how we (generally) flirt with the world and the flesh even though we have SomeOne better Who loves us so much that he would die for us.... and, in fact did. So much substance and time is wasted chasing those things and people that we forget the Lord and His love for us and all His kindness and tender care in every area of our lives. I DO encourage you to be still and look to the Lord alone for all your hearts needs. When you are full to overflowing, you will be someone who can share God's blessing with another and have absolutely no need to be dependent on them for what only God can give to those who love Him.
Times change, people change, as you have and i have and all do, but the Lord is the same and His love is certain. If someone offends you, remember to consider what the Lord thinks of you... He loves you and thinks you are worth dying for, He would leave all He knows to come to where you are and offer you His Light to follow.... and, as you know, He did.


Bless you ....><>

 

[Br. Bear]

They will sing of the ways of the LORD,
for the glory of the LORD is great.

Though the LORD is on high,
He attends to the lowly;
but the proud He knows from afar.

If I walk in the midst of trouble,
You preserve me from the anger of my foes;

You extend Your hand,
and Your right hand saves me.

The LORD will fulfill
His purpose for me.

O LORD, Your loving devotion endures forever—
do not abandon the works of Your hands.
Psalm 138:5-8

 

[Enxu]

Greetings,

thank you for sharing your thoughts in response to my post.

Forgive me if my ability to put something forward has not come across as i intended.
I do not know any sincere Christians who take offence at words meant to 'question' the hearer, as iron sharpening iron, words that help the hearing to consider all their ways before the Lord and if needs be for any action resulting, do so with thanksgiving and if no need, to be thankful to have had the opportunity to consider their ways. Most will know that the Lord can and will reveal any and everything to them for their good and His glory.
We find this also even when insulted. If we take all things to the Lord with an open heart and mind to have Him show us what we need, He is faithful to minister to us.
Does that always mean sugar coated sweetness? No, in fact, never. But He does minister to us in love. I do try to do likewise but I know that i am still learning and often get it wrong.

If you consider yourself all good, then if that is so, good.... but, as with all, it is only by God's grace and for His glory that any are good. {if any doubt this, did we make ourselves? No, the Lord made man and as with all that He made, it is and was and will be, good.}


My point about boasting, was two-edged, not only for you but for all who might be looking for answers.
My point about warning a man about a boastful woman likewise.

First, if there is any such way in you, you know it is no good AND that is something the Lord knows better than you and i and everyone else AND if we really seek after Him and His righteousness we would gladly ask the Lord to show us any wrong way in us and help us even more to be removed from such ways, for as it is written, I delight to do Thy will O LORD.

In the Bible we read that the flesh wars against the Spirit and the Spirit was against the flesh. Most of us do not see that but if we slow down a little, we get glimpses of it.

May i ask, why do you refer to Job? and liken yourself to Job?
Many do, but in reality, how many can honestly say they are where he was taken? However, many also forget the outcome for Job after being questioned by the LORD. Do we stop with a little suffering and say we are like Job and forget too quickly that the Lord blessed Him... and if we are so much like Job as we either think or want others to think, surely we will also be blessed like Job was and since we know what he didn't, that is, the outcome of it all, we should be skipping through our trials and troubles?

By the way, please do not get too hasty about my heart or intentions when i write to you in replies. You wrote some very strong words against me which shows me that you are very upset about things and perhaps more deeply hurt than you realise, BUT... the Lord knows your frame and He knows all that is before you now. I encourage you to look forward to all He has for you, all He has prepared for you.


As i pointed out earlier in this thread, a lot of what you shared reminds me of the ways of Israel and even those before and after and the way of God in His merciful lovingkindness [hesed] - how we (generally) flirt with the world and the flesh even though we have SomeOne better Who loves us so much that he would die for us.... and, in fact did. So much substance and time is wasted chasing those things and people that we forget the Lord and His love for us and all His kindness and tender care in every area of our lives. I DO encourage you to be still and look to the Lord alone for all your hearts needs. When you are full to overflowing, you will be someone who can share God's blessing with another and have absolutely no need to be dependent on them for what only God can give to those who love Him.
Times change, people change, as you have and i have and all do, but the Lord is the same and His love is certain. If someone offends you, remember to consider what the Lord thinks of you... He loves you and thinks you are worth dying for, He would leave all He knows to come to where you are and offer you His Light to follow.... and, as you know, He did.


Bless you ....><>

What you posted:

I would caution any man from getting involved with a woman who considers herself better than everyone else, a woman who speaks so harhsly against men.

That came across to me as a personal attack on my integrity and worthiness as a woman. I never once alluded to considering myself better than everyone else (emphasis: everyone), no reason for you to bring that up. Yet you’ve publicly assigned to me a negative image that is false (shaming me in public) and even go on to hint that men should be aware of getting involved with me. There is nothing loving, uplifting or Christlike about this kind of false accusations. Neither do such accusations bring me to self introspect.

I am already in pain, you had no regard for that but went on to make such blatant false accusations, adding wound to wound, and then now I’m expected to accept that as a kind gesture of wanting me to self introspect? If you truly wanted me to self introspect you would have pointed it out to me IN PRIVATE rather than painting me in a negative light on a public forum and cautioning other men to be wary of women like me. I don’t tolerate such levels of disrespect.

 

[Br. Bear]

Greetings again,

would you caution a man the same? If so, you could simply say, I agree,

From what i have read thus far, you are quite upset about men taking no caution about women, who think highly of themselves.
Please try to understand that i meant well and i do not profess to be perfect in my presentation.

You may not be aware of it, but you also present things that can be read the wrong way. I appreciate your words in reply to me for they make me check and seek the Lord, for i only want to be godly, also.
However, i also know that i can only be counted godly by the Lord and it is only through Him and the shed blood of Christ that i will ever have justification before Him and i do know that that applies to everyone.


Bless you ....><>

 

[Enxu]

Greetings again,

would you caution a man the same? If so, you could simply say, I agree,

From what i have read thus far, you are quite upset about men taking no caution about women, who think highly of themselves.
Please try to understand that i meant well and i do not profess to be perfect in my presentation.

You may not be aware of it, but you also present things that can be read the wrong way. I appreciate your words in reply to me for they make me check and seek the Lord, for i only want to be godly, also.
However, i also know that i can only be counted godly by the Lord and it is only through Him and the shed blood of Christ that i will ever have justification before Him and i do know that that applies to everyone.


Bless you ....><>

Yes I know my reactions can be overboard, I am working on it but it hasn’t been easy because I’m still healing from everything I’ve been through.

I will boldly confess that I have reacted in much worse ways than I’ve presented on here in the past. Yet God has not once condemned me for reacting badly. He saw that it was a reaction out of pain, had compassion and patiently waited for me to overcome.

Job reacted really badly too accusing God of treating him like an enemy when he lost his possessions, children and health, didn’t God show him the same compassion and “took pity” on him? I didn’t see God say one word of rebuke against Job, on the other hand, his friends were eagerly rebuking him from start to finish. I learned from this that God never rebukes a person in pain no matter how ugly their reactions are, He sympathises first.

Some people do react more strongly to things because they simply feel things on a deeper level, I am one such person.

 

[FullArmorofGod]

Dont worry I will never be a side piece. I have never been a side piece anyway but I’m still frustrated and angered at the laziness of men who expect people to clean up their lives for their own bad choices. They burned themselves out for being dumb fools but then expect us good women to just accept them for who they are even if their baggage is ruining relationships and hurting good women. They don’t even feel bad for giving us good women scraps when they know we deserve so much better than the ******* they chose to give their all to.

A man who isn’t even trying the darnest to work on himself, rectify his crappy relationship patterns so that he can be his best version of himself ain’t even worth my time. Such men are weak minded and make for poor partners eventually, I feel sorry for anyone who ends up marrying them. They are just complacent about themselves and life in general, not wanting to work hard on what is important and expecting the good women to just accept their garbage which they brought upon themselves with their stagnant mindset. I would be a fool of a took to want such a man.

As a man, i can point out that carnage of "proud single mom," because men sure love raising some other man's kids.

Wait wut?

Your attitudes are extremely unattractive and if you aren't on the early side of twenty, most men like young and dumb over "strong independent woman" and some feminist rhetoric about not needing a man.

Try meditation. Like you i was annoyed with the dating pool. The woman 30+ who npw finds jesus and i need to man up and raise Chad and Tyrones kids. Lol ya ok bud!

The decisions people make have retroactive consequences. A example is a girl i dated many years ago. Bad attitude, high body count, and no table manners. Fast forward to the present day. Single mom and weighing in at 300lbs. Her social media rants are similar to yours all butt hurt and man hating.

God bless 7 lb 8oz baby Jesus for me dodging that bullet.

 

[twcstp111]

As for why I’m attracted to this current man, it’s because he was willing to listen to me vent and told me certain things that made me felt accepted. He told me that making me happy will make him happy too. He offered to help me anytime I need. He seemed like a caring man if this was not just a mask he wears. And I’m not exaggerating that no matter what emotional state I am in, just talking to him calms me down. He shares the same values as I do in important matters like character and
loyalty in relationships.

I don’t see the same kind of verbal abuse tendencies in him that I saw in other men I used to get drawn to. As for emotional maturity I think he is basically stable but it’s hard to tell how mature he is since I’ve not even met him before and only known him for like a month.

But he does seem to get drawn to women who are good at presenting an energetic, cheerful and “nice” front but are actually the opposite of what they present. He assumes the best about others and needs multiple confirmations before he comes to a bad conclusion about a person. Unlike him I tend to spot red flags about people quickly and my gut feelings about people are 90% accurate. He was with another woman (possibly as a lover?) and it was me who exposed the woman for being a bad apple. Only after I exposed the woman for who she is did he admit that she was bad. Without my accurate judgment of that woman’s character he probably would have just continued on with that woman.

It blows my mind why he would now just go for the same brand of woman who are double faced, friend zone me when he just came to his senses about a previous woman who was bad. He told me he was burned many times yet he’s not even learning from it. It’s infuriating.

I will share with you a secret.

His interests, whether fleeting or long term,
if they are personal (himself at heart) or selfless (others at heart) ,

look at those things that have others at heart, and if that is where his heart is, then you might find yourself in his heart.

For those that are primarily interested in 'gain' (personal fulfillments of self image, finance, etc) they likely haven't accepted Christ. Pay close mind to their speech, how and in what manner they speak of others, whether selflessly, or selfishly, or in abasements; from the former to the latter, we know who will think the better of you.

Be blessed.

 

[twcstp111]

As a man, i can point out that carnage of "proud single mom," because men sure love raising some other man's kids.

Wait wut?

Your attitudes are extremely unattractive and if you aren't on the early side of twenty, most men like young and dumb over "strong independent woman" and some feminist rhetoric about not needing a man.

Try meditation. Like you i was annoyed with the dating pool. The woman 30+ who npw finds jesus and i need to man up and raise Chad and Tyrones kids. Lol ya ok bud!

The decisions people make have retroactive consequences. A example is a girl i dated many years ago. Bad attitude, high body count, and no table manners. Fast forward to the present day. Single mom and weighing in at 300lbs. Her social media rants are similar to yours all butt hurt and man hating.

God bless 7 lb 8oz baby Jesus for me dodging that bullet.

Why would you even speak like this about another person?

Have you considered her, that you might show her Your compassion? Or will you be selectively compassionate?

 

[Enxu]

I will share with you a secret.

His interests, whether fleeting or long term,
if they are personal (himself at heart) or selfless (others at heart) ,

look at those things that have others at heart, and if that is where his heart is, then you might find yourself in his heart.

For those that are primarily interested in 'gain' (personal fulfillments of self image, finance, etc) they likely haven't accepted Christ. Pay close mind to their speech, how and in what manner they speak of others, whether selflessly, or selfishly, or in abasements; from the former to the latter, we know who will think the better of you.

Be blessed.

Thanks for giving me that clue. Please pray for this man, I believe he is dealing with a Jezebel spirited woman, one of the most manipulative kind. I met such Jezebel spirited woman at my workplace and out of jealousy over how other males treated me she tried to drag my reputation through the mud with gossip. This current woman I know he is interested in shares very similar traits, alternating between super nice and being mean for no reason.

He isn’t a Christian yet but perhaps through prayer, God may have compassion and bring him to Christ. I also want him to see the woman for who she is before he gets himself burned again. These two things are my heartfelt desires for him whether or not he is in a relationship with me. He does want to become a good person from what I know. But he has no clue what kind of people are out there, especially the spiritual realm and darkness involved and he assumes the best about people until he has no other conclusions to draw. He told me himself he was burned many times. I had to expose a very toxic woman to him right at the start of knowing him because even if he has suspicions about a person he still stays with them and doesn’t move on. I believe much of his unhealthy relationship patterns stem from his childhood. He needs healing from Jesus.

 

[Br. Bear]

@Enxu
Greetings once more,

do you mind if i write some things that come to mind as i read your posts?

From what you are telling us, this man is NOT a Christian and yet you suggest that you would like to be with him.
From what you write, this man is involved with relationships outside of marriage and yet you suggest you want to be with him.

The man you write about is NOT the man who, if he becomes a new man in Christ, will be, does that make sense? In other words, all that you 'see' in him now is the old man, dead in trespass and sin and needing Salvation through Christ. You are not interested in a Christian man. Yes, a man who you want to become a Christian so he might be OK for you as a Christian, but please be aware that that is not the right formula for either a happy relationship or to bear good fruit.
I write this caring for you. Please reject the idea of me judging you. The devil is a liar and twists things to suit the 'intention' of killing, stealing and destroying.

So, again, look and see that you are allowing yourself to be overly interested in an unregenerate man. You see some 'good' bits and somehow figure that those bits might mean that he is some way like what a Christian man is, but that is not so. I have known many, many men who are 'good' in many ways but I know that without Christ, they are not good company. I also know that some who become converted and transformed are different men and have no interest or desire to as they were. AND, importantly, if this man becomes Christian, you should want him to put only Christ first and to want nothing or nobody before Christ and to be able to completely rejoice in the fact that he would then be a new creature in Christ, only because he is saved and has the hope that Christians have.... and not in even the slightest bit because now [then] he would be more suitable for you. That is not the right way to be thinking. I am not saying that it is the way you are thinking but if you are, and what you have been sharing on threads indicates that quite strongly, then please consider prayerfully what i am sharing with you. You know, better than me, but God knows best, ask Him and if you have any trusted Christian Brothers or Sisters, ask them for some confirmation in prayer and seeking the Lord.

Let us not belittle seeking the Lord, not to have what we want but to seek to know what He wants us to know, because He loves us.

The very best thing for you, is to pray for this man and then, if he repents and through faith believes and receives form God, new life in Christ, continue to pray for him as a Brother, not a potential lover. Put far from you the idea of a relationship. It may even be that the Lord does not want you to be in a relationship with this man and that is why this man is still off with the sort of women you refer to, so that you can not be with him?

As hard as it sometimes seems for us, putting our own interests behind us is usually the very best and first thing we need to do. Temptations come as very interesting and attractive ideas that seem to be really nice and have all the benefits that we can ever think possible [according to the flesh].
Please throw yourself at the Lord and keep doing so with thanksgiving to Him until you find the trust that goes way beyond your present ideals and hopes and dreams. Let them fade away and let His light shine more and more in you and you will find that He has a much more beautiful and precious plan for you than anything you can even start to imagine. We must get to trusting Him because of Who He is, though. Not because of what we might get but because of Who He is. Our life is hid in Him, so we must go there to find it!

Grace and peace to you in Jesus name


Bless you ....><>

 

[Enxu]

@Enxu
From what you are telling us, this man is NOT a Christian and yet you suggest that you would like to be with him.

I never talked about religion with him so I don’t honestly know if he has a faith of any sort. But I presume not since he never talks about Christ.

From what you write, this man is involved with relationships outside of marriage and yet you suggest you want to be with him.

He isn’t a married man, at least that’s what he told me. If he was a married man I would have stopped talking to him long ago. I don’t get involved with taken men, never had never will.

The man you write about is NOT the man who, if he becomes a new man in Christ, will be, does that make sense? In other words, all that you 'see' in him now is the old man, dead in trespass and sin and needing Salvation through Christ.

He has some values which could be considered godly even if he is still spiritually dead. I have hope that God is working on his heart to bring him to the knowledge of the truth and I hold this hope not just for him but for every unbelieving man who are aspiring to be men of good character.

The fact that they have a goal to be a good man is already a sign that God is working in their lives. If God isn’t there, they would just wallow in sin and become more and more
degenerate like most of the rest of mankind.

You are not interested in a Christian man.

Let me just give you an idea of what kind of Christian men I’ve met and you will see why I hold little hope that I would find true love in the mainstream churches:

1) At one church I met a Christian man who had a girlfriend but never once brought her to church. He never even mentioned her in front of me until much later. So I had no idea he had a girlfriend at all in the beginning. He started showing his attraction to me during this period and I thought he was single so I wanted to get to know him more. But I noticed that he was kind of verbally abusive and had poor boundaries. One day he finally blurted out he had a girlfriend unknowingly in a convo with me and I was taken aback. I started distancing myself from him but then his mother started to come after me trying to take me out alone for God knows what reason. It became so uncomfortable that I left the church.

2) Another Christian man showed interest in me after we exchanged religious views on Facebook. So I went to a church gathering with him and things were going well. I was hoping to get to know him more before entering any sort of committed relationship like I always did in the past. But then one day out of the blue he gossiped to me about another guy by telling me that this particular guy had a negative view of me. I never asked for this kind of information and the particular guy he gossiped to me about was actually someone I respected. What Christian tries to ruin relationships like that? You can tell where this relationship went don’t you...

3) One of my ex classmate was married to a Christian man. I was invited to her wedding but even before that she was clearly not happy marrying him. I saw with my own eyes how he nitpicked her for not doing things the way he wanted. I mean even if she is at fault that is not the way to treat your woman, especially when she didn’t mean any harm. She was so scared of him after dating him those years and she cried in front of me just a few days before their marriage. I could tell from a few interactions with him that he is somewhat manipulative and self centred and acts in a way that is a far cry from a truly godly man.

I’m not saying there aren’t good Christian men out there but many are taken and the ones I’ve met are just not Christlike at all. So why would I be interested in such Christian men?