Treated as scapegoat or black sheep?

[Lanolin]

@amadeus good on your for protecting your wife..I dont know if being married and having a husband makes it any better for mother daughter relationships. Just because you dont live with your mum doesnt mean anything either as found out with my friend and her mother.

I have had people say to me why dont you..move out. Well running away from problems is not a solution either. My sister is on the other side of the world and I dont know if she will come back here to live ever. I think it was to get away from mum. The main reason..why people leave home. One time she didnt even have a job and she didnt come home either.

 

[Lanolin]

I do trees of righteousness...are watered and stand. In the bible.

I definitley got from God I must stay where he planted me. Im. NOt going to be pushed around like a wandering jew or a vagabond like cain was.

 

[amadeus2]

I nust need to trust God is working on these relationships and have patience..

Yesterday was busy working and forgot to pick mum up from the train station, I dont have to all the time but had been the last few times when she didnt ask or call so she walked home. By the time I remembered it was too late but she cm home and didnt say anything and I didnt say anything either and we just kind of ignored each other.

She did say to me if I dont pick her up she will walk and it wasnt raining so..i think it was alright its a 15-20 minute walk. Just that it gets dark now early...

?! But she didnt yell at me or anything or get angry or complain about mopping so that was good. And i was able to get on with my own work. She doesnt clean my room which is fine but she used to always complain about that till I told her she didnt need to and I can do that myself. Just little things set her off..i also can cook my own dinner like Im grown up but in her mind im like a baby that needs to be fed, i think she worries all the time, but then its confusing when im away its like..come back! And when Im there its like get lost!

Aye, Sister, just stand fast in the Lord and in your troubled situation always do the best that you can and strive to control your own tongue.

"But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." James 3:8

No, we cannot tame our tongue, but we do know someone who can!

At times you have received unwarranted attacks or accusations and likely will receive more, but when you do, remember what Jesus suffered and what did He ever do that was wrong? Remember His prayer?

"...O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." Matt 26:39

Jesus did not want to suffer torture and death, but in spite of that more than anything else he wanted his Father to have the final say, that is His Father's will rather than his own.

Do we want to be like Jesus?

 

[Lanolin]

Mum wants to kill me?!
I was thinking about this why mothers are more evil than dads..dads arent the ones who choose abortions, its the mothers...

 

[Lanolin]

She did try once..with drugs..

But it didnt work. I survived. I think she resents that Im still alive and happy.

I do know that her mother threatened to kill her once, make her commit suicide. Something to do with communists taking over. I think back in those days people thought it was better to die than stay alive. And daughters were just useless and of no value.

 

[Lanolin]

Ive just not said anything. I made a garden today and all she said was it would rot the garage and that I would have to pay for it.
Well Im not going to undo my garden. I did walk away out of earshot cos I dont want to listen to rubbish.

 

[Wired 4 Fishen]

I have to work hard to do this... I find its easier of I add...'Walk away' to the list. I find no place in the Word where God says "Stand and take it"

Your absolutely right. There comes a time when we have to be like Joseph and run.
Most times you can walk away but when it's a child and their parents, well that does not apply. Ouch I learned that lesson at a young age. Lol and I bet you did too.
Blessings

 

[Wired 4 Fishen]

She did try once..with drugs..

But it didnt work. I survived. I think she resents that Im still alive and happy.

I do know that her mother threatened to kill her once, make her commit suicide. Something to do with communists taking over. I think back in those days people thought it was better to die than stay alive. And daughters were just useless and of no value.

That's just plain Sad!

 

[Lanolin]

I did try to run away once when i was young. Came back tho!

I didnt have anywhere to go, really. The park?

 

[Lanolin]

That's just plain Sad!

Reality in chinese families. Its better nowadays but tradition dies hard.

I have noticed mothers of other cultures also treat sons better than daughters. I think its just female rivalry..the mother sees her daughters as usurpers or something, i had one chinese mother tell me she never wanted her daughters to leave home, but they were younger and prettier than her and she was feeling jealous. She had divorced and wanted to find another man, but the man she had her eyes on was barely older than her daughters.

I think that boggled my mind.

 

[Lanolin]

Well I dont think mum wants to kill me now, but I am obligated to do everything she says.

Sigh. Jesus hd a bossy mother too..she was jewish.

 

[Wired 4 Fishen]

Reality in chinese families. Its better nowadays but tradition dies hard.

I have noticed mothers of other cultures also treat sons better than daughters. I think its just female rivalry..the mother sees her daughters as usurpers or something, i had one chinese mother tell me she never wanted her daughters to leave home, but they were younger and prettier than her and she was feeling jealous. She had divorced and wanted to find another man, but the man she had her eyes on was barely older than her daughters.

I think that boggled my mind.

Alot of times in many cultures the male is seen as the future of their generation or rather name sake.
Without sons, the name and legacy dies out.
Blessings

 

[Lanolin]

Alot of times in many cultures the male is seen as the future of their generation or rather name sake.
Without sons, the name and legacy dies out.
Blessings

Silly.
Whats wrong with daughters. Everyone I know keeps their name now. Even after they marry they dont change it anymore. In the Bible there were 5 daughters who were threatened to be disinherited because there were no brothers in the family and they werent married, but they petitioned Moses..I think this was in Numbers, and won.

Besides any daughter of God has Jesus family name. It doesnt matter if you marry or not.

 

[Lanolin]

Numbers 27:7

 

[Shutterbug]

Silly.
Whats wrong with daughters. Everyone I know keeps their name now. Even after they marry they dont change it anymore. In the Bible there were 5 daughters who were threatened to be disinherited because there were no brothers in the family and they werent married, but they petitioned Moses..I think this was in Numbers, and won.

Besides any daughter of God has Jesus family name. It doesnt matter if you marry or not.[/UNQUOTE]

Silly.
Whats wrong with daughters. Everyone I know keeps their name now. Even after they marry they dont change it anymore. In the Bible there were 5 daughters who were threatened to be disinherited because there were no brothers in the family and they werent married, but they petitioned Moses..I think this was in Numbers, and won.

Besides any daughter of God has Jesus family name. It doesnt matter if you marry or not.

Aye, it is true in some societies women retain their family importance so others are aware of their status especially when money is concerned from the maternal side and not from the other. The women in your example were not automatically granted their father's inheritance. Moses complied because they were were still spinsters and their request for the disposition of their father's estate was not unreasonable.

Regarding the family of Jesus and your point about being unmarried, we become as the angels and do not remain married nor are we given in marriage. Thus, we are all equal in that regard.

 

[Lanolin]

Its not money you inherit but LAND. Money is nothing.

Of course you could sell your land for money, but then you have no home and nowhere to live. Im not going to be an exile or an ex patriot like my sister.

 

[Shutterbug]

Its not money you inherit but LAND. Money is nothing.

Of course you could sell your land for money, but then you have no home and nowhere to live. Im not going to be an exile or an ex patriot like my sister.

True enough at least to a point. There were two groups of "money" people which sailed in First Class on the RMS Titanic: Old money, and New Money with the latter earning its money from industrial development. And, the former despised the latter. I use the Titanic only as an example. As all onboard discovered, Death was the great equalizer: you come into this world with nothing and you leave with nothing.

 

[Lanolin]

Um not sure what the titanic has got to do with anything but I was watching downton abbey on dvd as friend recommended it, and it started off with the heir drowning on the titanic. The family had no sons and the daughter, three of them, werent married. The wife, a rich american, had married into the landed gentry. Her mother in law didnt like her!

The eldest daughter had a suitor in the first episode who was a sodimite after her money.

Anyway they had. All these servants who lived and worked at the house, some of them literally had nowhere else to go.

Times may be different, but its still mothers (and mother in laws) that seem to closely guard the family fortune. The dad in this scenario doesnt want to lose the house and estate, but he is poor and his wife is the rich one.

Obviously the wife married into the family to have the estate and look after it with her riches, and the husband who is the Like the lord of the house (he inherited it) had married the rich american wife probably out of necessity. But it looks like those marriages of convenience happened a lot in the upper classes.

Heiresses are sought after but its tricky to know if they are sought after for their money, or their land. In this first episode, they were trying to separate this in a settlement, but since the eldest daughters fiance died the whole estate would be entailed to...someone they didnt know I think, it was a bit confusing.

The point is daughters were not allowed to inherit, they could have the money but not the land. It was british law, i dont know if this is still the case.

 

[Lanolin]

Its interesting that Jesus does reward the good and faithful servants with rule over towns and cities in the bible.
He champions the poor (the working and serving classes) who literally have nothing but the clothes on their backs and turns the rich ones away.

The Titanic was a terrible tragedy but it showed that back then there were strict class divisions, the upper classes were let on the lifeboats first while the poor were stuck in steerage and coudnt get to them in time. However they did let women and children first. Some of those lifeboats werent even full.

 

[Lanolin]

I once visited a castle in Dunedin, its called Larnach castle and the only castle in the country, owned lady who bought it for a song with her husband in the 60s and restored it to its former glory.

The history of this castle is really tragic, the man who had it built was one the richest in nz (made his money in banking, no doubt ill gotten double dealing) but he had nothing but trouble and commited suicide, he had two wives that died and his own son was having an affair with the third. Eek.

The castle laid forgotten and negelected after this, and none of his descendants inherited it they didnt want it and he lost his fortune! Anyway now this couple bought it and did it up slowly and surely. The sad thing is...that couple split up. But the children i think will inherit the castle because they are looking after it.

If not i think they will have it in a heritage trust and open it to the public. You can visit it now but you do have to pay for the upkeep i suppose and you can pay to stay there. The gardens are beautiful. The castle though, would be a nightmare to maintain, lol. However i think it does lift peoples spirits to walk or work in something thats quite splendid. Even if you were just a servant girl and lived in one of the attics, it would be safer than living on the streets or in a hovel. I suppose.