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Turning my back on Christ.

Cognitive

Member
Joined
Jul 18, 2005
Messages
135
I lie in bed at night and ask Jesus to show me the way.

I wake at around 8am, say Good morning to Jesus and thank him for my day. "Good morning Brendan" he replies. I spend my morning with children getting them ready for school, they get stressed, little arguments over who has whoevers stuff. "relax" says Jesus, "For this is not the Kingdom of God."

I am ready for work, I say my goodbyes, I work as a painter and decorator,its a family business, it doesnt matter if I am late, I seem to be arriving at work later and later, since my last two little ones were born. "Dont go work daddy" my little girl says. My little boy cannot talk yet but shows he doesnt want me to go by his little jittery star jumps he does in his walker as I close the door on him. My little girl waves at the window, not knowing why daddy has to work so much. It troubles me "Dont worry" says Jesus "For in the Kingdom of GOD you will spend every minute with your little ones."

I turn around and Jesus is on my front lawn, standing there before the gates of the Kingdom of God. "You have asked that I show you the way, This my child, is the way. You asked for the door to be opened, now it is, Enter for the Kingdom of God is yours."
"I cannot" I reply. I turn and sit in my car, start it up and edge my way out of my drive. I stop as two little girls on thier way to school edge with fear across my drive. Scared of the car. It troubles me that they look to me with fear. Jesus next to me says "Dont worry, for there are no cars in the Kingdom of God."

I set out on my way to work, passing shops, there is one called VANITY, it sells nails for ladies, make up etc. Reminds me of Ecclesiastes. Another shop, a PC shop, it is actually called SEX??? Jesus still beside me says "Dont worry, there are none of these shops in the Kingdom of God."

I now have come to the busy road, I sit in traffic for around 20 minutes, its a six lane carriageway, with 4 ft of grass in the middle. Jesus says "Dont worry, these roads do not exist in the Kingdom of God, but look there is the kingdom between them." I imagine myself riding a horse up the middle grass verge passing all the traffic.

I get to work open up a tin of paint, I wonder what the fumes have done to me these past 12 years. "Dont worry" says Jesus "These chemicals dont exist in the Kingdom" I get on with my day. I get a call from my Dad saying I have to finish the job asap, I have to cut corners and meet him at a certain time. This means I have to lie to the customer, or lose the customer. It troubles me. "Dont worry" says Jesus "There are no lies in the Kingdom."
I polish off the job, finish my day and go home.

I go home, my kids are eating junk, sweets after school, full of artificial drugs made by man, I wonder what its doing to thier health. "Dont worry" says Jesus "The sweets in the Kingdom will not harm the little ones, all kinds of fruits, will be good for them"

I go to do my weekly shop in the supermarket, with having five children a weekly shop of good organic food I cannot afford. I try my best to mix it with frozen and fresh organic food, most of the food I buy is rubbish made by man, for money. It troubles me. "Dont worry" says Jesus, "For in the Kingdom all this is free, it belongs to you, I give it to you. All GOD grown food, in its perfection, its yours"

I come home, its getting late, get the little ones to bed. All is quiet I turn on my computor to check the monthly bills. Electricity, Gas, Rent, NTL etc etc. Its tight I only just make it. "Dont worry" says Jesus "For in the kingdom, there isnt these things. In the Kingdom God will provide for your every need"

I retire to my bed, Thank Jesus for my day, and for sticking by me, I ask him to show me the way.

He replies.

"In the Kingdom of God there is no money, cars, roads, supermarkets, shops, businesses, artificial foods or any other of the evil things satan and his power has brought to this world. God will provide for your every need, not money. You cannot serve both God and money. Brendan you asked me to show you the way, I have. You kept on knocking at my door, I opened it for you. I will be there in the morning waiting for you. I have chose you to enter my Kingdom. So leave this world and its troubles. Join me in peace, dont be afraid, I will show you the way. Goodnight my child, God Bless"

In the morning Jesus will be there, with his gates open welcoming me in. I will turn my back on him, walk to my car and continue to live in this system of things, putting fear into children revving my car, polluting the very water we drink with the fumes. Paying taxes towards war and murder of innocence. Supporting supermarkets and thier famine causing greediness. Passing shops that instill sin on my children. Doing a dishonest Job, In return for cash to buy junk for my own family.

Turning my back on Christ till I die.

Please Christ give me the strength to enter your Kingdom, I believe your every word you speak to me. I know it will comfort me, and my family, if we live the way you intended us to be. I dont want to live this life feeling as though I turn my back on you. I see your Kingdom, I love it, I yearn for it. I want it not only for me and my children, I want it for everyman. Please stop me from entering my car tomorrow, open the gates for me, Please let me live in your perfect Kingdom.
I Thank you for all you learnt me today, I love you.
Goodnight, God bless.
 
God Bless You dear Brother in the Lord.


Thankyou for sharing with us. I pray that His Blessing will be active in your life, making you a blessing, and making, causing you to prosper, as you honour Him day by day. Blessing you and your family.

Amen......this is the God we serve....more ready to give that we are to receive.....Amen?

Do not fear....God is with You......Amen
 
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Brendan, that was a stirring and thought provoking message, and what you have written has been on my mind all day. It seems you have no trouble hearing the voice of God, but you are having trouble trusting and obeying Him. Have you considered all your discontentment is God asking you to take a step of faith? Perhaps another job, perhaps another place...or perhaps just trusting Him enough to express your faith in Him by your actions in the place where you are at?
One step...one single step...can change everything in our spiritual walk. On the other hand, refusing to take a step of faith, can be very detrimental to ever progressing beyond where we are right now, regardless of how much we strive, or how much our hearts ache for change. We have nothing to offer God but our faith and obedience to Him. Without it, we are told it is impossible to please Him.(Heb 11:6)

"This means I have to lie to the customer, or lose the customer. It troubles me."
I would like to remind you of the words of Jesus in Luke chapter12. Brother, you must chooseto trust Him, He will not make this choice for you, all He offers you is His sure promise, "seek me first, and I will take care of you" If you choose to please God, instead of your jobs demands, (or any other area of your life that demands a choice be made) will not God take each single act of faith and do wonderous things with it for you?
I know He will.

Gods blessing and strength to you.
 
Cognitive, somehow this messed up and posted the same message 7 times... I surely dont think you are so awfully hard headed lol, seriously, its simply the wonders of dial-up at work, not me!
 
Thank you brothers for sending me love in your daily thoughts.

Cocunut I believe that the Holy Spirit has shown me the Kingdom of GOD.

After years of asking, now its came and I cannot enter it.

So I feel like I have stopped on my spiritual walk. I feel like I am turning my back on him, yet I feel strong because he is by my side. The more I ask to see the Kingdom the more I see it, I now see it in its perfection, I totally understand it and believe it is the way.

He isnt angered or seems worried that I do what I am doing. He seems to understand. Lately everytime I speak with him, its the Kingdom he wants me to enter. He wants me to live as he willed me to. He made me in his image. He promises that I will be comforted, and will feel Love on a different level. I believe him 100%. In spirit I am already there, yet my body is still chained to this world.

He isnt asking me to take another job, he is telling me to not work for this world at all. He wants me to work for him. Not for money. Its not because I am worried about money, I have always had more than enough to provide for my family. He wants to provide for me and my family, because right now, the world and its system provides for us. Each day he tells me this, in every thought I share with him.

He didnt grant us this life to live for the world, he designed us to build his Kingdom here on earth.

He wants us to follow him with all our mind, body and soul. My mind and soul live in his Kingdom, yet my body belongs to this world. I cannot be his child until all three are there.

He wants me to leave this world, enter his Kingdom and be his child.

May Peace and Love be with you, as we sharpen each other in our relationship with him.

Your brother in our Lord Jesus Christ,
Brendan.
 
Cognitive said:
Thank you brothers for sending me love in your daily thoughts.

Cocunut I believe that the Holy Spirit has shown me the Kingdom of GOD.

After years of asking, now its came and I cannot enter it.
Brendan.
Pardon me brother, explain this. What do you mean the Holy Spirit has shown you the kingdom of GOD? Is this a figure of speech or something else? Your wording on the forums is very confusing usually, so let's speak clearly.
 
Greetings brother Chad.

As I look around the world in which we live, I see buildings made of stone which are full of business to feed a greedy mans eyes. A lot of men spend more time on making money, in exchange for junk food. Than they do thier family.They spend a large percentage on items they do not need. What I see is all satans kingdom, everyone earning money to provide for their lives. The more money they earn, the more satan will give them thier share of his kingdom.

When the Holy Spirit came to me, I saw that below this system was a perfect world, created by GOD for us to live in. Not relying on satan and his money to provide for our needs. GOD himself provided our every need. Not imperfect food for us, which is killing us. but perfect food GOD designed for us. The money he wants in return for this food does not exist.

What I continued to see was that many of GODs creatures, for example the birds which fly free in the air, these birds live in the Kingdom. GOD provides for them. Then I relised that through following what Jesus had taught me, about Love, truth, greed. That we too could live in this Kingdom, on top of that we would be a lot better off in every area.

And if all men who love GOD with all thier mind body and soul, lived how GOD designed them too, GODs Kingdom would again be established. This is what I saw. All men living how GOD wanted us to in his perfect world.

I believe that this was the Kingdom of GOD.

Yet even though I believe it, I cannot bring myself to leave this world behind.

Brendan.
 
It sounds confusing as I try to fit my whole relationship with Jesus in a small space.
I have to leave lots out or I would type all night.
 
Hi Cognitive, I can relate in some small way to your posts and the way you feel. I am also having trouble understanding how our world, the world of God, fits into the "world". Independant of that, I also feel like I am turning my back on Christ, although I know and believe that He is by my side. I feel distant, yet close to God. I am having severe time management issues and I have made God second priority in a matter of weeks. I did not intend for this to happen, it's just my life that has changed.

I hope the Holy Spirit reveals to you what you need to know. Remember He doesn't work like us. You may ask Him a question and He will say, be patient, I'll show you in time. It may be tomorrow or next month. Whatever happens God is in control and we have the Spirit of God to guide us.

My first impression of your post was a man that wanted to give up on life and die and go to heaven, that is how I perceived it, upon reading it again I realised what an awesome, talented person you are Cognitive, you have a certain flare with words and you use the most beautiful langauge and descriptions. Thank you for your posts, if you have more to share, please do so.

May Jesus bless you.

teraside :)
 
absolute great post i loved it, you must live near me cognitive because i also live in the midlands, i understand everything you said and often i get depressed and upset about all these bad things happening around me and it really does get to me, but i shall never turn away from god and i always pray for his help and i know he is there, it gets hard for me sometimes but i always know he is there
 
We Are In This World But Not Of It

We are in this world but not of it. "Do not love the world or the things that belong to the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in him. Because everything that belongs to the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride in one's lifestyle--is not from the Father, but is from the world. And the world is passing away, but the one who does God's will remains forever. I Jn 2:15-17

I liked your post, Cognitive, and it really made me think. This is a stinking world we live in, and it's not our real home. I will be very happy to see you in heaven someday.

God knows there is so much ugliness and sin here--but he still expects us to live for Him here until our time comes to go home. You have a lot of guilt about food and things. Seems to me you are doing the best that you can for your children with what you have. Rest in God's comfort; He's comforting you. Rest in His peace when trouble comes.
 
Cocunut I believe that the Holy Spirit has shown me the Kingdom of GOD.

After years of asking, now its came and I cannot enter it
.

Brendan, what do you mean when you say the kingdom has come, or "if all men who love GOD with all thier mind body and soul, lived how GOD designed them too, GODs Kingdom would again be established?"

Gods kingdom has not come, nor does God intend to establish an earthly kingdom, nor are we to "establish His kingdom here on earth" according to His word, so i`m trying to understand why you are making statements that are so contradictory to scripture.

[Edited to clarify what I was trying to say- " God does not intend to establish an earthly kingdom" - I meant not the literal here and now, for the kingdom of God is only within us now, and the literal kingdom to come doesnt happen until the thousand year reign of Christ]

You also say you "deal dishonestly with customers" yet you say "God isnt angered or seems worried that I do what I am doing. He seems to understand." I know you didnt say that in regards to only your former statement, but to address that one thing again, God is very displeased if we are dishonest in any way, which i`m sure you know as well as I do. We wouldnt want anyone reading what you wrote, and thinking that sometimes a lie is justified, and that God understands, so please explain what you meant there.
 
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Thank you brothers and sisters.

Coconut I believe it is the Kingdom. Maybe Christ is calling me to live this way. Maybe its a demon? I thought it was the Holy Spirit, I still believe it is, I will continue to ask Christ about this matter, I seem stuck at this point not just recently. Seems like forever. In this time the relationship I have with Jesus has grown, I loved it. Now you are saying this voice may not be him.

I dont see how it can contradict scripture, You would have to quote the scripture, so I could study it, for only GODs word has lead me to this. I tend to read Mathew 5-7 a lot, It feels like life as I read it. Feels perfect. I will study it further.

Cocunut you say that GOD would be displeased with my actions, yet when I do them he tells me not to worry, He knows I am troubled by it, yet he loves me and tells me to be strong. He comforts me. He forgives me. This sounds like the GOD Jesus taught me. He makes me see that I do these things because I am from my father the devil. He tells me to follow him and like I said I turn my back on him each day. I am part of the world. He hasnt left me, hes still by my side, he loves me.

You say GODs Kingdom has not come. Didnt he tell us to ask for it to come? Jesus tells me its all around me, its always been, it always will be. What is it then that I see? GODs creation is still around us, its alive, it breaths, its perfect. GOD is longing for me to live as one with his creation. Doing his will, here on earth. He didnt will me to drive my car, live in this evil world of satans, doing 9-5 while I ignore my children for money, living in a concrete cage. Locks on my door, fences and bars all over the place. Its like a cage and I am chained to it.He isnt happy with me living like this.

Mathew 7

21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

The Wise and Foolish Builders
24"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."



He has asked me to rely on him fully, for my food, its his will. If I do his will I will enter the Kingdom. That means no more relying on money and this system of things. Maybe its not the Kingdom coming for all, feels like its come to me. Its exactly how Christ has shown me through his word.

19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.



Some people say that many things do not apply anymore today which Jesus himself spoke to us, each and every word Christ said was perfect, it knows not time, it lasts forever. If we abide in this world, the Kingdom is hidden from us.

Please brother Cocunut send me the scriptures that were contradicted, because if this is a trap by the evil one, I am falling in very deep.

God Bless
Brendan.
 
Coconut I believe it is the Kingdom.

Do you mean you believe "it is the kingdom" that is here now?

I`m sorry I seem to be causing as much confusion with my questioning as you have me with your statements.

Lets begin again. You said the kingdom is come. I said no it hasnt (literally)

Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered to the Jews: but now is my kingdom not from here." (John 18:36)

Also in Rev 11:15 we read this: " The kingdoms of this world are become the kingdoms of our Lord, and of his Christ; and he shall reign for ever and ever."
(future event)

Have I misunderstood you to be saying that what is clearly described as a future event, has already occured?

He has asked me to rely on him fully, for my food, its his will. If I do his will I will enter the Kingdom.

If you are born agian, you will enter the kingdom. If as you say, entering into Christs kingdom depended on our not having to rely on an earthly system, then who of us can enter in?

Joh 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

1Co 15:50 Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; neither doth corruption inherit incorruption.

Luk 17:21 Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.

Col 1:13 Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son:

Cocunut you say that GOD would be displeased with my actions, yet when I do them he tells me not to worry, He knows I am troubled by it, yet he loves me and tells me to be strong.

Brother this is not possible that God should tell you not to worry about lying. Gods Word says when we sin willfully there remains no sacrifice for our sins (or that He cant forgive us because we willfully continue in our sin) ...and theres a stern warning in Revelations
about what happens to those "whosoever loveth and maketh a lie."

Col 3:9 Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;
 
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Hi brother Cognitive : we are told to live here and do our own business and occupy till Christ comes, to be lights in the world to show them love and good works. Some are called to be teachers, some are called to be evangelist, some are called to be prophets and helps, and so on.

This is for the edifying of the Church, and for power to help the ministry of the Church. We are not called to be monks:star: or run off into the woods and hide from the world, or try to make a heaven on earth before its time.

With faith and patients the saints will bring fort fruit. So we need to pray for his holy spirit to help us, and guide us, but be carefull of to many thoughts that are not of God, we are to think on good things, with pure thoughts and love, so we can do good to our neighbours.

And as far as lieing... we are required not to lie, but speak truth with our neighbour. When you do lie or sin, yes God will forgive you, but dont think you can do it all you want, what you are seeing here is Gods grace toward you, not a Demon!, it will abound if we are sinning.

But the word of God says shall we sin because grace is abounding? God forbid, the laws are written on our hearts, and do not lie is one of them, thats is why you feel bad when you lie. So repent of it and God will make a way out for you, repentance is a must with the saints. Be patient, but repent of lieing, and you will see Gods favour even more.

I sudjest you read Romans brother it may help you with this...:star:


Rom 7:7 What shall we say then? [Is] the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet.

Rom 6:1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
Rom 6:2 God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?
Rom 6:3 Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?
Rom 6:4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.




1Th 4:6 That no [man] go beyond and defraud his brother in [any] matter: because that the Lord [is] the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.

1Th 4:7 For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.
1Th 4:8 He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us his holy Spirit.

1Th 4:9 But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.

1Th 4:10 And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more;


1Th 4:11 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;
1Th 4:12 That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and [that] ye may have lack of nothing.


Do what is written above brother 1Thessalonians 4:11-12 , this is Gods way for us...


God bless you brother... and be patient, all who wait on the lord after repentance will be rewarded:star: Ohh and God loves you...:shade:
 
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I just finished Romans, must be what led me to write this. I musnt have understood it correctly.

I understand that lying is from the evil one. GOD tells me not to lie for satan and his sytem. He says as long as I live for this world I will lie. Even though my spirit is true, my body is part of the world. If any part of me is from the world I am not his child.

Are you sure Jesus teaches us to be a part of this world before he comes? Well I was, until he showed me the truth about it, now I hate it. I cannot be from it any longer. I feel like he has come to me already. He isnt telling me to continue living in sin. He wants me to be free from sin. He has shown me the way, but I am too weak.

How can I be free from sin if I continue to live in this world? How can I take part in a system that is built on a foundation of deciet and be no part of it? This world is fuelled by money and sin, not GOD. Should I spend my life rolling on concrete roads, polluting the earth and the lungs of those i love? Is this GODs will? Every part of this system is evil.

GOD designed me to spend over 50% of my time working for this world, in exchange for money? This is his will? This isnt love. This is what Jesus has turned me against.

Or did he design me to spend 100% of my time, in his perfect garden. Looking towards GOD to provide for my every need? I thought this was his Kingdom. This is Love. This is where Jesus welcomes me daily.

Which life is GODs? Which lasts forever and ever? This system we have now is showing cracks all over the place. Live for this world and we are building our faith on sand. The Kingdom I see was built by GOD in 6 days. Its right outside my window, its lasted forever, satan has tried to destroy it from every area, and it stands just how it was created. Live for GODs Kingdom. and we build our faith on rock.

How can I live for both?

Mathew 4.

8Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me."

10Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'[d]"

Mathew 6

24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.


Isnt Jesus telling me its one or the other?

Can man live with GOD alone? Or does he need money to survive?

Jesus told me that a man with riches cannot enter the Kingdom. Well he says its easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. This would be impossible. What point would gold or silver be to me in GODs Kingdom? When all i need he gives me in return for believing in his way.

GOD never created money in those 6 days.

He made his world, he looked and it was good, he loved it. Then he filled it with all kinds of creatures. He loved it. Then he made men to occupy his Kingdom. Only his children can live there, to the ends of the earth. It all fits together perfectly. Its his will that we live there, isnt it?

Maybe its my excitement of Jesus revealing this truth to me, That is affecting the message I am trying to share, it seems so simple to me. Yet hard to explain. I will be patient and wait for him to show us the way.

GOD bless.
Your brother in Christ,
Brendan.
 
Cocunut I believe that the Kingdom is what GOD created at the start of Genesis. I believe it has always been, yet only by follwing GODs law are we allowed to enter. I believe it will come again to its perfection with satans ways gone, yet its sill there to live in today, if we have the faith that GOD can provide for us, better than this system.

I believe that through the teaching of Christ, after asking him to be a part of his Kingdom, that he has finally shown it to me, I believed it was all around me, inside me.

I believe I was born again, when the Holy Spirit came upon me, all my desire to sin had left my spirit. My former self had died, and a new me who had a desire to be like Jesus had begun to work in me.

But my spirit and my flesh are fighting against each other. My spirit wants to live there, my body wont allow it. So if my spirit is urging me to live in GODs perfect Kingdom. Yet my body is stopping me. If I beleive its GODs will, and have faith in him to provide for me, I trust him totally that all this is true. Yet still dont follow him. What is it that I lack?

Would you understand me more if I referred to it as GODs way to live. Instead of referring to it as the Kingdom?

God bless
Brendan.
 
I can't find where the verse is, but I want to repeat it: " We are in this world, but not of it."

Cognitive, about 15 years ago I was on the back deck of our parsonage. The world was so ugly to me--my children weren't being treated right, I felt that there was something deeply wrong with my husband, and although I didn't want to die, I wanted to "get out of this world" and be in heaven. I was just so tired and I loved Jesus and wanted to be with Jesus. In other words, I was on the brink of a depression. (Soon, my husband was to be fired from his position and we had to move out of the parsonage.)

I was young, energetic, and had a lot of things going for me (like you, Cognitive). But I didn't want to live. The Lord spoke to me there on the back porch. He simply said, "Did heaven die for you?"

I answered, "No, Jesus did."

"Then live....for Him," the Lord said.
 
Jesus was here before time began. When God created the earth, He said the word "We".
God's Son was already there in heaven. Jesus came down to this ugly, gritty earth to be born in a stable. He could have stayed in heaven and lay upon a silk bed and be waited upon hand and foot. But He came here. Then He taught the people, had compassion upon them, showed them the way to God, healed them, delivered them, and did many miracles.

Then He died for our sins.

Do you not think that He was homesick for heaven sometimes, during His time here on earth? I do. We as christians get homesick for our real home too, our eternal home.
But we must press on and live on here on this imperfect earth. (It's imperfect because of Adam & Eve and our sin).

He served us. He washed the disciples feet, rose little Tabitha from the bed, cried over John the Baptist being beheaded, brought his dear friend Lazarus back to life. Now, Cognitive, it is your time to serve HIM. Here, on earth, with the good things He has given you. Especially your children. It sounds like you really love the Lord. That is a glorious example you are setting for your kids.
 
I just feel that it is within my reach. To live this way. Jesus is telling me its the way.

If I dont it will be in my thoughts forever that I didnt listen to his guidance.

When I imagine my day if I lived that way. It feels perfect to me. Very close to GOD. Its the feeling I get when I read Christs Sermon. They fit together so well.

The day I live today doesnt fit with Christ much at all.

I feel like I am stuck, if this is Christ asking me to live this way and I dont follow him. What does this mean for me?
 
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