When to leave a church (IFB)

[Brother-Paul]

Always remember that you do not leave the 'One True Church' that is the 'ekklesia' the Body of Christ, The Bride of Christ.

The Church you are talking of is the 'kuriakon' that is the building, the denomination, which includes Saved believers (ekklesia) and Lost Souls (those not born again, not saved)

Christ will Return in Glory for the 'ekklesia'. His Church, His Bride. Saved believers.

So although you have left the fellowship, at the place of worship you attended, you have not left the church.

The true church consists only of Born Again, Saved believers, from every country in the world we live, regardless of age, sex or colour, and does not include denominations which are created by man.

Peace be with you.

 

[JoniSteele]

Hi all, this is a loose continuation of my last post, linked below, about the circumstances at my church.
If you don't wish to read the previous post for background, in summary:
My fellow church members and I are expected to pray for 50-80+ people each, every Wed, from a prescribed, rotating list, and we have been told to cease praying for people at times.

To Pray or not to Pray

But here is my new predicament. And I am only posting this after speaking with my husband, and other members in confidence...

I joined an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Church, when I married my husband, with great hesitation. I left my former (open brethren) church that I was apart of, to do this. Here are my concerns, and if anyone has ever been in this circumstance, please weigh in and share:

1. There is a strong emphasis on outward actions:
(e.g) Required attendance of all 3 weekly meetings (6hours+/week), and when attendance was not perfect due to illness/new baby, I was told that I am to be careful of getting my priorities mixed up, or that I am denying God when I miss church when family is visiting, because "so and so" wouldn't even miss a mid week meeting when their elderly parents came into town to visit, for only short time.

(e.g2) Expectation of memorizing up to 10 verses weekly and being tested on them, expectation of praying for 50-80+ people/causes each (limited to other baptists), on a scheduled, pre-written prayer list, and it is also encouraged to attend 2-3hour weekly revival meetings.

2. There is an elitist attitude, yet super small membership:zipped:
The attitude towards unbelievers and other Christians is persecutory, and lacks love. It is an us vs them attitude. It is very common and accepted to say that other churches, in general, are not real churches, and that our church, really has a handle on things. This is even said from the pulpit. We separate from all other churches, in evangelism, and in fellowship, that are not IFB (and none of the IFBs in our city had "made the cut")
Yet there are only 11 members, and church "growth" consists of a couple singles who got married to someone who then joined. Been micro small for years.
It feels stale and suffocating!

When I spoke to other church members, they either agreed with what was going on, or would be complacent and defeated. I really want to leave this church, because the impression I have after talking to other church members, is that things will never change, and either I adapt to it, or I would have to leave.

Has anyone been in a church like this?

The church you describe sounds works based and divisive within the Body of Christ...two things to consider when you make your decision to leave or stay, since both these attitudes are not biblical.

 

[Brother-Paul]

Also remember that the church is the ekklesia, born again believers worldwide, each a spiritual stone, built together to build up the body of Christ.

So where ever you go, when two or three come together in Jesus Name He is there in the midst with you.

To many people get in to the trap of saying 'my church' you don't have a church.

So many say I go to church, you don't go to church! You go to the 'kuriakon' which it the church building.

The Church, the ekklesia, is the born again believers worldwide. When you come onto this forum, with saved believers, together you are part of the One True Church, the bride of Christ.

Fellowship and prayer is important, but not as you have described, the Holy Spirit blows like the wind, you do not know where it has come from or where it goes, He works in the life of every believer, as he chooses according to their faith. It is understandable you are so uncomfortable by those who are trying to control what you do, what you pray and when you should do it. Enjoy the fellowship on here with Saved believers, until you find a place you feel God is leading you to.

Do not feel guilty about leaving the fellowship you were part of, they are trying to control what the members do, that is not scriptural. I am sure Jesus would have something to say, I am sure he has, hypocrites may be one word he would use. Your faith is in God through Jesus, you are important to Him, the fact you do not feel comfortable, is enough to know you are not meant to be at that place, lift it to the Lord in prayer, we join you, pray for guidance and protection, and ask God to lead you to another fellowship, a place where the true church meets and Jesus is Lord. A Gospel believing Church that has been set free by the Holy Spirit.

Bless you.

 

[Sue D.]

Sounds a lot like a Bible College -- certain things are required for a course of study.

There are those who apparently feel spiritually 'safe' in that environment. though there is certainly nothing Wrong with anything that's being 'required' -- it's still being made a 'requirement' to be considered 'spiritually mature'.

Personally I would not be going there. Christianity is meant to be a positive relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Those kind of requirements are not conducive to a good positive relationship.

Sounds like the pastor is a strong Controller and that is Not healthy.

Your husband Is supposed to be your spiritual leader -- and it's important for your husband to know exactly how you feel.

And, actually, it really shouldn't be a matter of what 'we' think here on Forum. It's really between you and your husband as to whether or not you decide to leave. You need to be approaching the pastor with your concerns.

Years ago my husband and I Did go to a church in which the pastor made lots of decisions -- there are different forms of church governing -- we'd never been in one like 'this' before. My husband Did approach the pastor -- he was a fairly short man and my husband was very tall. It was obvious that he felt a bit intimidated by my husband's height. The pastor wasn't really doing / teaching anything Wrong. It was simply his way of doing things. People had started to leave the church -- pastor decided to split the services and no one knew for a long time that Doug and I had actually left. They thought we'd simply decided to go to the Other service. My husband has passed away about a year ago. This pastor passed away a few months later. I went to the funeral -- lots of people were there -- his son had taken over preaching when his Dad contracted parkinsons. People Loved the pastor and truly missed him. Over the years, this pastor had done a lot of wonderful things for other people and the church.

So -- you do what your husband leads the two of you to do.