First off, you clearly do not understand what the Bible you allegedly read twice teaches about God and his relationship with humanity. So hear this one quote (one of many passages that speak to this issue) Jesus tells us "In the world you WILL HAVE tribulation, but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world"
Secondly, God's promise that you would be saved has absolutely NOTHING (zero, zilch) to do with what may happen in your moment by moment life here but rather speaks to the overall condition of the soul/spirit as to where, because of that condition, it will spend eternally (for we all continue existence after separation of the spirit person from the body...those who are with God will experience the ever NOW in His presence and receive what He would provide, and those who want nothing to do with Him who want their own way and are lord of their own life here will be lord of their own kingdom void of His presence and all that He would have provided).
The second option of eternal separation from God is your choice! There you will be in a place where there is no order to calm the fires of chaos, no light, no fellowship with another, and so on, because all of these things were/are of Him;.
So now let me say that God does not interfere or intervene in each and every moment by moment situation like some grand puppet master because of what he ALREADY established....God gave humanity DOMINION over all that is on the earth (He is not going to violate His own will or be fickle as to His own promise). On occasion where it was necessary to the accomplishment of some aspect of His willful plan He has and will do so, but for the most part we direct and choose and are subject to the direction and choices of one another. So not knowing the details of the circumstance you are complaining about I must ask you consider if choices of your own placed you in a situation where that could happen or IF choices others made in their own will have been the cause of this problem?
Finally (for now) I surmise you already are NOT a child of God and already ARE an agnostic (or atheist) for a couple of reasons you have revealed but let me say this, just as you CANNOT choose to cease being the biological offspring of your biological parents, IF you are actually a child of God (born of His Spirit - Romans 8:9...please read it) you cannot "decide" to cease being His child...it is not possible and that is why John says "If they go out from us they were never one of us."
Every single person used as an example for us in the Bible has gone through pain and suffering and sometimes severe trials (that is the fault of humanity and one's desire to rule over others or ignorance of the effect of their choices) but those whom God has then used always have learned something valuable from it by which later they are a help to others. Take Joseph as one example and imagine of this were you....his own family beat him mercilessly and dug a pit and threw him in it and spat on him (and the Lord knows what else)...they left him for dead...they sold him into arduous slavery...and then he was sold again (and you KNOW how slaves are treated) and then he is placed in servitude, used and abused and eventually thrown into a smelly, rat ridden, dangerous prison (and you KNOW the way such ancient prisons treated prisoners) but He never thought for a minute that this God (who he knew and loved) was at fault or now decided on his won to reject God or blame God or decided He whom he knew was a myth and he would go to a different god....that was not even possible because Joseph KNEW this God was real and there and loved him despite all that other humans had done to him....
God did not intervene and stop this but in the end God used all this to bring about the completion of one aspect of His greater plan. So if you think you will just leave or change gods (you probably are already lord of your own life anyway) or that the one and only God is a myth then please just admit to yourself He really is not your daddy (ABBA) and move on. If you choose to seek Him even amidst your tribulation then fine do that, but cease faltering between YHVH and Self or YHVH and other gods...it is His will that you be with Him but He will not force you...the choice is yours.
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