Hi Donnie:
I like free thinkers, I used to be one, I still think for myself. It is just that I am a free thinker who believes in God.
So you figure that a good man, a moral man, who lives a good life and is kind and appreciative and helps others .........but looks at the world and men and knows not to trust, who says I am going to rely on a book to tell me how to live and other men when men all around me show me their failings daily.......I am confused. Well you know you do have a point and this is up to God. I have learned to never put words into Gods mouth and just allow him to be the judge. But he is not as evil and as terrible as other men make him out to be, there is always and intelligent reason for things, and punishment is always deserved, men just like to say it is not, and do not try to understand. Christians also seem to like to condemn first and ask questions later........
So let me tell you how I talk to God, you see I found God to be a friend and a companion and to be real. He paid me a visit once and convinced me to behave. Lol! I love to go fishing, and going today as a matter of fact , but I was about 28 or so and I suffer from Hay Fever where you sneeze and cry and become miserable when the pollen is heavy. So I was trying to fish and in the middle of a cast I would sneeze and the lure would end up in a bush or over a tree limb, and I got mad and cussed God out. I really gave him hell. I told him you idiot , you know how much I love nature and here you go and give me this Hay Fever, to heck with you. But not in so nice a words.
I am a plumber, can be rough at times, so I was giving God hell. I was really upset with this Hay Fever nonsense. Now bear in mind this is a calm day, no wind nothing. Out of the blue I felt the presence of the Spirit and it was overpowering even the hair on my head and body stood up and a gust of wind blew my hat off and up ahead , there it sat floating away and I was scared. I knew exactly what was up. So I went and retrieved my hat and about a minute later just to make it sink in another gust of wind blew my hat off again and sailed it even further away, and the whole time I could feel the presence of the spirit. God had chosen this to pay me a personal visit and say , look you yahoo, I like you and I understand you but you need to behave.
So I learned to just talk to God like a friend, but always with great respect and no challenge, to go and ask with respect but also say, I do not understand, I wish to and from my outlook you are the only one who can explain things.
So I went to God about all the things free thinkers think about. Things like the murderers and the rapists and all the ones who commit terrible things and crimes. I told him this is just not fair, or is it fair, you tell me. Why is the good man seemingly punished and the evil man not. Why is the rapist forgiven and the good man not. If Hitler accepted you would he go to heaven and the answer was YES!
You see we are men. We are of a physical life and in us is the God given wish to survive. It is the biological desire and the plan of nature so we cling to life and we understand all things in this physical realm. God is not physical, he is spirit and his concern is for us in the spiritual. We are but like butterflies on this earth , we are to learn, and evil is a way of teaching us, we see it, and we have a choice to become a part of it or to reject it. Our entire life is like this butterfly waiting to be born into a spiritual life. So the things of this world do seem terrible , and justice seems unfair to us as men as we view all things in the physical sense. But God is spiritual and is concerned with our spiritual being. So to even begin to understand him and his forgiveness of things, one has to step into his world a bit. To acknowledge the fact we cling to his physical life and judge things by our way. That we do not understand at all how someone like Paul or David can be forgiven and obtain not only salvation but be friends with God.
So Gods answer to me is very simple, I created you with free will, I wish you to be a free thinker, but I give you all this evidence of my existence and I let you chose. You do not understand all, you are not intended to understand, all you need to know is if you come to me in faith and belief , then all is well. This is my right and my way, it is what is. You cannot change it, I am God.
Well you know it is not so bad. I kinda like having a protector and a friend that is always there, always reliable and always truthful. It is the one light in the world of deception and violence and sin. It is the reward of peace and the forthcoming world of the spiritual that once you do accept and understand that is the goal.
And it is not hard. God does not demand much at all. Just accept me and believe in me, accept that you do not understand all and I do not intend you to, but one day when it is time ,you will be shown all.
Hope this helps, it took me awhile to understand too, I had to let my view of the physical world go. I had to listen to what God was telling me, that I am spiritual and I wish you to be also. My views and power is so much more than yours, and it is my right as I created you. Once I accepted this I did understand. That evil has to be to create good. That God uses it all to mold us, to let us chose to be what we will be.
Kinda deep huh??? But God is not evil. Men make him so, as they do not understand. They wish to put their own ways ahead of God. To lash out and say this is unfair. But when you understand it is but men clinging to our own views, and not wishing to accept the fact that salvation and the spiritual life is so very simple and all it takes is to believe.
I asked God about the hard head. The Atheist, the one who looks around and just does not quite get it, and he told me, Kit, I am not evil and I am not unfair, I understand that confusion is the way of the world. I will judge each man on his own merit. You do not worry about that, you just do what I put in your heart. You have accepted me, and we are cool, you leave the rest of it up to me.
So I learned to trust. God is more to me than the creator, he is a friend , one with the answers. But he deals with us all in a one on one way and what is for me may not be for you, but I hope you understand some of this.
Something else, take Paul, the one who did terrible things. God used him and Paul was so convicted of his sins, that he became such a voice for Christ that he could not be shut up. The evil was turned to good and it was such a strong good that it has set the stage for us all. Paul so much more so than us, understood the reason, he was evil and became good. The bad man became a very good man, one who could not be turned away. Not sure how to explain this, but it is a very good example of how a very bad man is used by God to become great. It is only done so by Paul's superior understanding of evil and his conviction of bad. So he became good with a little help, and not only good but a voice to set for the rest of the ages. One can only understand this if God explains it to you.
Kit